The Importance of Forgiveness

Forgiving others for past transgressions is the most important stepping stone toward happiness.

No matter how severely a person may have transgressed against you, do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to hate them because hate is poisonous! Not to the person who wronged you, but to YOU!

Hate burns you up inside. It eats down into your very soul and prolongs feelings of hurt, depression and downright misery. Hate does no harm to the person being hated, it only hurts you because nine times out of ten, the person you hate either doesn’t know about it, or they don’t care. Anytime you hold hate in your heart against anyone, you unwittingly give up any blessings and forego any opportunities, which would otherwise come your way. You instead invite negativity and evil into your world. You end up forfeiting your own happiness and life is too short to be anything but happy.

While you are sitting around stewing over some idiot who wronged you in the past, that same idiot is going about their merry way and not giving you so much as a thought. While you are holding grudges and plotting ways to get back at him/her, that person is just getting on with life. They are not worried about you, nor are they even thinking about you. So why are you thinking about them? They are a complete waste of brain activity!

Hate, insecurity, grudges, anger…they are all garbage in your life that needs to be disposed of.  It’s time to take out the trash and take back the peace and happiness that you not only deserve but have a divine right to.

Forgiveness is a must! It is a prerequisite for re-empowerment and happiness. It is not about letting anyone off the hook, it’s about setting yourself free from the toxic feelings of anger and hate that will otherwise hold you back!

I’m talking not just to children and teens who are being bullied at school today but also to the adult survivors who were victims of bullying when they were in school. Forgive your bullies and do it now. Anytime you hold on to grudges and hate for a person, that individual CONTROLS YOU whether you realize it or not. They may have exerted control over your teen years, but you don’t have to let them control the rest of your life. Forgiveness is the only solution to this problem. It is the only way that you will be able to take back control of your life and find more peace and happiness than you ever thought possible.

 

 

 

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The Importance of Self Acceptance

Good evening everyone. I hope you all all enjoying this beautiful day as much as I am. Today, I want to talk about self acceptance and it’s role in the achievement of peace and happiness.

Anyone who has ever been bullied will tell you that it sometimes takes years to overcome the after affects, get completely comfortable with yourself and find happiness.

Because of the torment I suffered at school, I was a shy person for years and my shyness peaked during my childbearing years. I would not speak to anyone unless they spoke to me first, out of fear that I would say something wrong. I didn’t like myself because I felt that I was somehow different…that God had put a mark on me like Cain. I felt that I didn’t quite measure up. And this was during my early 20s when I was just beginning to discover who I was and what I really wanted out of life.

Throughout junior high and high school, I was bullied so much that I was blinded to my own feminine beauty during those years (I was a very beautiful young girl). I also did not feel free to express myself and most importantly, get to know myself.

Being in a toxic environment or around toxic people can block you from opportunities, blind you to your own inner and outer beauty, diminish the ability to use talents and natural abilities, prevent you from having your own opinions and feelings and from accepting and being yourself when you are young and haven’t been in the world long enough to know the difference.

When I finally left that toxic, poisonous, downright dangerous environment that was my old school and transferred to a new high school, I felt like a bird out of a cage…like I had just been given a full pardon and released from prison.

From that day forward, I could finally begin working on getting to know ME and I was put on the road to self discovery. However, that road proved to be a long one.

During my mid to late 20’s I became hungry for self betterment. I slowly began trying new things and confronting my fears and shyness HEAD ON by actually doing the things I feared most! I discovered talents and abilities I never thought I had and could express myself and my wants and needs without ridicule.

Like magic, new opportunities and better situations began opening up to me. It was like the floodgates of heaven had suddenly opened and I was washed away in a river of blessing.

But it took years to get through the anger, the sadness, the shyness, the defensiveness and being closed up and guarded before I was finally able to totally and completely accept who I was as a woman. And when I finally accepted myself, which meant accepting the good, the bad, and the ugly qualities, I found a peace and happiness I never thought possible.

Am I perfect? No. Do I try to be? Nope. I accept all characteristics of me. I know my good traits: that I have a good heart, that I have compassion and empathy for others, that I am outgoing and confident, that I like to have fun, that I love to sing, dance and write novels. Am I proud of that? YES! YES! YESSSS!!!

I also know my bad traits and I embrace them.

I accept that I am sometimes forgetful.

I also accept that I no longer have the perfect body after having had children. I am comfortable in my own skin.

I also prefer Tee shirts, jeans, and sneakers over fancy dresses and high heels (which I only wear when an occasion calls for it). Do I like this about myself? ABSOLUTELY!

What I want is for you to completely accept yourself because it is a stepping stone to happiness. When you accept yourself as you are, quirks and all, and stop being so concerned about how you are seen by others, you actually FREE yourself from that ball and chain called self consciousness. It is like a huge weight being lifted off of you.

Also, you become much more attractive to people and they are drawn to you like a magnet. And the individuals who are waiting for you to mess up actually get bored, give up and stop watching you. I know this from experience. Acceptance of self (all aspects) is such sweet freedom!

No one likes to be around a self conscious and insecure victim. I’ll say it again:
No. One. Likes. A. Victim!

So I want you to make a brand new start today and begin your new life by accepting who you are. Count your blessings, your friends, your family, and your chance opportunities. Anything positive that is happening OR has happened in your life is a blessing. This is where you start. Start by counting blessings. Take a pen and piece of paper and write down each blessing and I guarantee you will be on your way!

I wonder how many people can actually list all of their blessings without running out of paper and/or ink. I know I couldn’t.

Have a great evening and get out and enjoy this beautiful weather.
Wishing you peace, love, and happiness
Cherie

Why Are We Afraid to Speak Out Against Radical Extremist Groups?

First off, I want to send prayers for the people of Brussels and all of Europe in the wake of the Brussels Terror Attacks.

I believe that as a nation, the American people have slowly and over time, lost confidence, as has the entire world since the war on terrorism began with 9/11. Sadly, we have became a nation of wusses. Even several government officials have grown afraid to speak out against terrorism and also discourage others from speaking out, all in the name of Political Correctness. I feel that this country is no longer the country that my dad once served.

Twenty years ago, people did not care about being politically correct. If there was a wrong, we spoke out against it and no one blamed us. However, nowadays, it is considered politically incorrect to speak out against ISIS and other extremist groups and call them what they are…terrorists.

Where has our courage gone? Since when did we became too chicken to call a spade a spade? I ask because I have been on this earth close to forty-five years and never in my life have I seen so many scared and confused people.

The entire world is being bullied by these extremist groups, yet leaders of not only our country but of nations around the world choose to try and tip toe around these killers for fear of offending them. These animals kill our countrymen- our sons, daughters, parents, brothers, and sisters; yet it is getting more and more taboo to speak against them or their evil acts.

Therefore, my position is this: A bully can never be appeased no matter how much people may tell the person what they want to hear and creep around him/her. I’ll say it again! One cannot appease a bully! And any attempts to try will only embolden the bully to come back for more because people who are evil are never satiated!

The only way to subdue a bully is to confront them head on. Only then, will the bully go away. That’s what America and the entire world must do- confront terrorists, speak out against these people and do something about them. Bullies thrive on FEAR and terrorist groups are no different. ISIS, as well as any other extremist groups, are bullies and it’s time to take them by the horns!  While doing so, we must also realize that it may get worse before it gets better and get prepared for it. However, we must also press on and never give into fear.

We may never fully cleanse the world of these monsters, but perhaps if we take back our “testicles” and stand up, maybe we can lower the frequency of these terror attacks, mass shootings, and other incidences which have cost millions of innocent lives.

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read my posts. Wishing you a very happy and prosperous week.

 

 

Confidence Is Key

You can have all the determination in the world and work like a dog but without confidence, you are just spinning your wheels. Because determination without it equals desperation and desperation comes from a spirit of lack.

When one is unsure and insecure, it is a proven fact that this person will not perform as well at school or work. Confidence equals great performance, equals success, equals even MORE CONFIDENCE than before!

A winning attitude is key to having success in any area of life. Having faith in yourself can also get you through tough times. One of my favorite speakers is Zig Ziglar and he talks about “Stinkin Thinkin” and the damage it can do to self esteem. So turn this “stinkin thinkin” into thoughts of success, gratitude, and happiness and watch every area in your life take a turn for the better…like magic!

However, once confidence is achieved, it must be maintained. There will be failures but remember. Failure is the predecessor of success. You will always make mistakes. No one is perfect nor all knowing. Instead of beating yourself up over some error you made, look for the lesson that this error was meant to teach you. Also, search for the positive in the mistake.

When someone tells you that you can’t, pay them no mind. Others can steal your morale if you let them. It is not easy to be yourself and stay sure when surrounded by others, who either constantly hurl jabs and insults your way, or who just do not believe you can be successful. However, you must hold on to your confidence even if you have to give yourself pep talks several times daily. Adverse things will happen, people will hurt you, it is just a part of life. To feel hurt, anger, or sadness is normal and expected when something negative happens. As I said in my last post, there will be times in life when you will not feel confident. Adversity will happen and throw you off kilter. The difference is that when you have confidence, you will bounce back more quickly and are less likely to dwell in an awful place.

Having been bullied during my tweens and teens, I once was very insecure and had a horribly negative outlook. It took a lot of reprogramming in order to take back my confidence. It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. It is easy to change certain things about yourself but changing your thought patterns, especially after you have been conditioned to think a certain way, is one of the hardest feats to accomplish and most certainly does not happen overnight. Negative thought patterns can take years to change completely.

However, once you start, little by little, you will see a positive difference in not only your outlook, but also the circumstances that come into your life. You will begin to feel confident and the more confidence you have, the more momentum you will have behind it.

Always keep that momentum going and you will be on the right path for the rest of your life. With confidence and a winning smile and attitude, you can achieve beyond your wildest dreams!

God commands the Universe to always give you what you ask for. Through our thought patterns, we unconsciously ask for what we get, good or bad. By sending a certain vibe out you always get the same in return. If you are negative, you are unwittingly asking for more negativity to come into your life. But if you are positive, confident, happy and at peace then you are asking for more of the same and it shall be given. So keep showing your pearly whites and smile from the heart! I once heard Zig Ziglar talk about a spirit of gratitude.  Counting your blessings and being thankful are the fastest ways to turn any negative into a positive and with it comes confidence. He was right!

Good Reads

I would like to recommend a few good books to read as I believe that you have to love to read in order to love to write. And I love to curl up to a good book! I am still finding my way around WordPress and will post links as soon as I learn how. Have a blessed day!

“How to Win Friends and Influence People” By Dale Carnegie

“Into the West” by S.J. Sass.

“2015 Guide to Literary Agents” by the Writers’ Digest

Introduction

Hello, everyone! My name is Cherie White and I am a mom, writer, former Army brat, and music lover. This is my very first post to my very first blog so I am brand new to the blogosphere and have much to learn. I am a tactile learner, or in simpler terms, I learn best just by diving in and getting my hands dirty. Like Nike, I just DO IT! However, I value and am always open to advice from anyone who has been blogging longer than I.

I am an aspiring writer, having written six novels, which have not been published yet- five fiction and one nonfiction. There will be more where those novels came from. My most recently completed novel, the nonfiction which is tentatively entitled, “From Victim to Victor (A Survivor’s True Story of Her Own Experiences with School Bullying. How She Overcame, Won Back Her Confidence, and Found Peace and Happiness)” is a true story about the culture of bullying that infected the school I attended back in the mid to late ’80s. This manuscript is not only about the bullying I suffered, but also about the bullying that (I remorsefully and shamefully admit) I inflicted upon others in order to feel better about myself. This book is brutally honest as I confess my own inner thoughts of the people involved and the poor choices I made to either fit in, or escape the torment. One of those poor choices was an attempt to take my own life at the age of 14 and I am very fortunate to be alive to tell the tale. I go on to tell how I was able to escape the harassment, forgive my classmates, and live a life of peace and happiness.

Today, too many young people are taking their own lives due to being the target of bullying. Children and teens who have the ability to someday become doctors, writers, actors, inventors…are dying before their lives have begun and it is a tragic waste of young life.

This is something that I am passionate about and my wish is to help re-empower teens and young adults who either go through the same thing today or who are survivors.

So, my message is this: If you are being mercilessly bullied at school, know that the torment will not last forever. Even though you may not see an end to it now, there will come a day when you will be free of your tormentors and therefore, you will be free to be your true authentic self without fear of ridicule. Eventually, you can go on to live a very happy, peaceful and prosperous life. I did it and you can do it too!