The Mistake of Turning to Guys to Get the Acceptance I Wasn’t Getting at School


Females are hardwired to nurture, maintain, and enjoy relationships, whether they be friendships, family, or romantic relationships. With teenage girls, although family relationships are still meaningful, it is mostly about having close relationships with friends and romantic relationships with boys. Therefore, if a young girl is not getting those wants and needs met through her peers at school or family at home, she may try a different route to meet her needs.

Sadly, some girls, particularly those who are targets of bullies, think that having a boyfriend makes up for the lack of friends and positive relationships at school. I say this because, unfortunately, I was one of those girls with the same mindset. I leaned on dating and romance for comfort.

At the time, being in a romantic relationship felt like such a welcome change, like a soft pillow to land on during a fall. It seemed to buffer my self-esteem from the attacks and take the sting out of the torment I endured. Having boyfriends and suitors gave me a much-needed rebuttal to the daily degradation and humiliation brought on by classmates and a few sadistic teachers. It assured me that I was a great person and worthy of being loved. Male attention was a testament to my beauty and confirmation of my value as a young woman.


I looked to these guys to rescue me. They were my refuge from a cold, cruel world that hated me. Looking back now, I realize how needy I was back then. Around young guys who didn’t know me from school, I acted like a totally different person. I smiled, batted my eyelashes, and flirted my behind off to get their attention.

During school, because I had no friends, I turned to grown men to get the acceptance I wasn’t getting at school, from people my age. Although I was a gorgeous girl to look upon, bullies and their followers had destroyed my once-good name and with it, any prospects for dating and love. But by dating guys who were already out of high school, I was able to get around my trashed reputation and have opportunities for romance. These college-aged men had never met me, nor were they aware of the falsehoods and labels tied to my name.

I’m ashamed to say that, back then, I felt that my good looks and feminine wiles were the only things I had going for me and often used them to get what I wanted. I thought I had to use trickery and charm to attain what most others seemed to come by easily and effortlessly.

I want you to understand that when a person is beaten down for so long, they grow afraid to ask for or pursue their wants and needs the right way. As a result, manipulation and deceit become a way of survival. Realize that this is a person who doesn’t need judgment; they get enough of that already. What they need is help.


For bullied girls, partners are a proverbial band-aid to their feelings of hurt and inadequacy that come with the onslaught of bullies. Sexual partners and activity are a means to feel loved, wanted, sexy and beautiful. And it works, if only temporarily. However, this is dangerous because it can easily lead to co-dependency. Relying on a dating partner for confirmation of worth is never good because the girl eventually comes to believe that if she is not half of a couple, she is nothing and this kind of thinking is wrong.

This mindset only sprouts desperation, and there is no dignity in being desperate for a partner. A girl should never see a romantic relationship as the end all be all. She should never look outside of herself for happiness. Men come and go, and if she continues to depend solely on them for her fulfillment, she will be in for a huge disappointment.

When a girl looks solely to a partner to validate her, it’s a sign that she doesn’t know her worth as a young lady. Potential dates can sense this, and are either repelled or see her as someone they can use and degrade. She risks attracting a predatory partner of low integrity, one who will hang around as long as it takes to get what he wants from her before dumping her and leaving her devastated. Also, people of quality and integrity do not want a girlfriend they have to fix or rescue, and if they sniff out the slightest bit of neediness, they will disappear, and fast!


If you are a bullied girl, I can’t stress enough how important it is to fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with anyone else. Love should come from within and never from the outside. A relationship doesn’t complete you, and just because a man has sex with you doesn’t mean that he loves you.

You are just as beautiful without a partner as you are with one. Just because you’re dateless doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Single doesn’t mean defective.

In the meantime, do plenty of deep soul searching and make positive affirmations daily. Count all your good qualities, talents, and gifts. Continuously remind yourself that you have value, and soon, you’ll start to believe it with your whole heart.

Be patient. Know that the right person will come into your life when you least expect it, and you aren’t looking for them. And when they do, they’ll be well worth the wait.

Suicide is NEVER the Solution!


Good afternoon everyone, as you already know, the suicide of Destiny Gleason drew media attention a month ago, driving home the sad truth of an epidemic that has gone out of control- the epidemic of suicide among young people due to bullying.I believe we must do what we can to reach out to these unfortunate young souls who are at risk of leaving this world much too soon. And this is how I reach out to these kids.

Here is another excerpt from my book “From Victim to Victor”. It is from Chapter 13 and what you are about to read is something that every person who is or who has ever been a target of bullying must read. Even if you have never been a victim but know someone who is, this is also for you.

“…I cannot stress enough that suicide is totally fruitless and not to mention selfish. All too often, people do not think of the ramifications. When you commit suicide at such a young age, regardless of your reasons, you are cheating yourself out of what could possibly be a wonderful future. You destroy any chance for happiness and fulfillment.

You also cheat the people who love you, setting them up for a lifetime of heartache and the question of “why did he/she do it?” and this will be a question which can never be answered.

You must realize that even though things may seem hopeless now, there is still a high probability that life will eventually change for the better if you just be patient and wait. As long as you are still alive, there is a good chance that things will improve…and improve drastically. However, once you are dead, there is no chance for improvement and there is no coming back. Therefore, anytime you take your own life, you cheat yourself.

Suicide is not an escape, not glamorous and it is not a means of obtaining pity. The bullies or whoever else mistreated you will not feel the least bit sorry about it. They will not care and some might even be happy that you are no longer around, getting complete satisfaction and gratification from your death. They will live on to select another person to torment and denigrate while you’re lying six feet under and being forgotten about.

People will only mourn your loss for a little while, then they will pick up and move on with their lives. Life does go on after you are gone. Although this seems brutal and unfeeling, it is the cold, hard truth and I want to shock a little sense into those of you who may be contemplating on doing something really stupid. That’s what suicide is…stupid.

Before you make the decision to end your life, there are questions that you must ask yourself:

  1. Is suicide something that you want to be remembered for? Is it a legacy that you want to leave behind?
  2. Do you really want to give your bullies the satisfaction of knowing that they had the power to drive you to doing something so rash? Do you want to give them the gratification of knowing that they had the power of life and death over you?
  3. Do you still want to give them that power?

I would hope and pray that you do not!

As it is, they already have enough power over you if you are a target! Why then would you want to give them more of it?

The next time a bully tells you to “go kill yourself”, not only should you ask the bully, but ask yourself who that person is to decide whether or not you deserve to live? In, fact there are several questions to ponder here.

  1. Who is anyone to decide what your worth as a human being is?
  2. Who are they to decide what your value is?
  3. Who are they to decide whether or not you are good enough?
  4. Who are they to decide who or what you are or should be?
  5. And who the hell are they to decide whether you should live or die?

It’s not what they call you or say to you, it truly is what you answer to. Your life does not depend on who does or who does not like you and neither does it depend on who hates you.

I recently went to my twenty-fifth class reunion just a year ago and got to see about thirty classmates, most of whom either bullied me or sold me out at some point or another during school. Although the vast majority of them have grown up by now and were very kind people, there were still maybe two or three out of the whole bunch who still, after all these years, hold resentment and contempt. Although, they never came out and said anything for fear of looking bad in front of the other classmates, I could see it in their eyes when they looked at me and in their facial expressions and body language. And one woman even threw a very subtle dig while sitting right beside me, to my right, during a class meeting just a month prior to the reunion. A dig to which I only responded with a smile and actually got a genuine hug from another classmate.

I did not fire back at her because I decided that this woman was not even worth the energy. I just very gracefully blew her off because it was only further proof that in this world, there are quite a few 40+ year-old prepubescents walking around. Age does not equal maturity.

I now take great pride in myself for responding to such immaturity with class and I had an awesome time at the reunion. I never let the immature actions of a few bad apples spoil it. I continued to be my authentic and awesome self. I socialized and danced! I let my hair down, let myself shine, and ended up having a wonderful time and being very glad I went!

The point to my reunion story is this: Bullying does not stop after high school graduation. All through life, you will encounter scores of ignorant people and I feel it incumbent upon me to prepare you for this. While you are still young, you must learn now how to let the ignorance of a few narrow-minded people roll off your back or you will be in for a very difficult life ahead.

In life, there will always be a handful of people who will never approve of you. But always know this: it is THEIR issue, not yours. I will say it again:

THEY are the ones who have the issue, not you!  So never allow yourself to be sucked into thinking that there is something wrong with you just because people refuse to see your worth. There is nothing wrong with you.

Never give anyone the power to determine how you feel about yourself, whether or not you have fun, or what mood you should be in. And for sure, never give them the power to cause you to die by your own hand.

You may be called the foulest, most horrible names in the English language but it does not mean that you are those names. Remember that bullies are LIARS! As long as you have the determination to stay alive and stay true to yourself and to your own heart regardless of what others may think of you, you are anything but those names! You are strong, resilient, determined, intelligent…you are AWESOME! Because you refuse to be brought down!

But if you commit suicide, then you only cause the people who called you the above names to think that they were right about you all along!

Suicide is for quitters! And you are not a quitter! You are a fighter and if you remain tough long enough, you will emerge a winner! I can almost guarantee it!

I fought like hell to hold on to my pride, dignity, and self-respect! And most importantly, I LIVED through it and eventually things changed for the better!

I lived to write a book, which is designed to help you and give you strength. This book is my way of turning what was once a very negative experience into a positive outcome!

So don’t give up! Don’t quit! As long as you keep on living, you keep on fighting and as long as you keep on fighting, you have already won. You just do not know it yet.

In hindsight, I never should have resorted to an attempt to take my own life. Instead, I should have wanted to live…to stick around, even if for no other reason than to piss them off.

If I had it to do over, I would have worked on me. I would have gotten busy practicing and honing my talents and would not have been afraid to display those talents. I would have been entering talent shows and writing contests…and winning all sorts of prizes! I would have begun striving toward self-betterment and a deeper understanding of not only what was happening to me but also of the world and people around me.

Suicide is never the answer…never! I did not realize then, that I was playing right into my bullies’ hands and giving them exactly what they wanted. My bullies were already out to destroy me and I was making it that much easier for them to do so.

Now that I know better, there will be a cold day in Hades before I will ever let another person drive me that far down! Instead, I will only be that much more determined to keep living and enjoying the good things in life! There is beauty in life if you look for it.

Being bullied should be a motivator. It should make you that much more determined to live, and to live a happier, more peaceful and successful life. Spend as much time as possible doing the things you enjoy and being around the people who love you the most…positive people who lift you up and make you feel awesome…caring people…loving people! The happier you are, the less you will be affected by the ignorant actions and words of any bully.

Always look your best and do your best at any task. Excel in your studies, talents and anything else that you do. Do what you have to do to feel good about yourself just as long as it does not cause harm to another person.

Do not wallow in self-pity no matter how bad things get. Sure, it’s okay to feel emotion anytime someone hurts you. So get angry, feel sad, cry, beat a pillow, do whatever you can to let those emotions out when you feel them because you certainly do not want to hold it in. But do not dwell on those emotions…never stay in that hurtful place for long because it can be a real confidence killer if you do.

Be a positive person and interest yourself in other people and what is going on in their lives. People will love you if you are genuinely interested in them. Be kind (without being a pushover of course) and meet new people, being interested in them. Let them talk about themselves, their hobbies and interests.

While they are talking, listen with your eyes focused on them. Be genuinely interested in anything they talk about and get excited about their dreams, being happy for them when they achieve those dreams and wishing them well. People love someone who is excited about them. Smile at and greet people, calling them by name. By doing this, you will eventually make lots of friends and live down a bad reputation caused by bullies, past or present.

I say this because it happened for me. I no longer have the reputation I once had, or at least it does not stick like it used to. I have so many friends today that it’s hard for me to keep up with all of them. I have also won over many of my former bullies from school. That’s right. Several of the people who once bullied me in school are now some of my closest friends!

And how did I manage to turn everything around and live down the horrible reputation I once had?

I did it by taking my focus off of me and acquiring a genuine interest in others and how their lives were going. I did it by replacing hate, contempt and bitterness with love, acceptance and forgiveness. I began to love myself and see my own worth as a person. I started to value myself and quit worrying about what others thought of me. I made doing the right thing my goal.

Did it make everyone like me? Of course not. However, I did not and still do not concern myself with what others think or how they act. Instead, I concern myself with how well I made someone else feel about themselves. Did I put a smile on the face of someone who would otherwise still be sad? Did I make a difference in the life of at least one person today?  Did I help restore hope in someone whom would otherwise not have any hope at all? Was I the difference between someone deciding whether or not to take their own life? I always hope so.

Do everything that you can possibly do to build your confidence and do it constructively. Take risks by meeting new and interesting people….”



Bullying and Suicide

Hello, everyone. The subject of bullying has been my passion for over 30 years. I was a target of relentless bullying myself when I was in school. Although technology had not taken off and their was no such thing as social media or texts, the bullying I suffered was horrible nevertheless. I want you all to know that there is hope and that you are awesome in spite of what your peers may think or say! I have written a book, which is entitled, “From Victim to Victor”
In writing this book, my purpose is to re-empower targets of bullying everywhere. I want to assure them that they are never alone and that there are so many other people…awesome people who suffer the same fate. I also want to send the message that they are good enough, that they do matter, they do have value and that their value does not decrease because of the inability of their peers to see their worth.
No matter how hopeless your situation may be, there is always hope. There will come a day when you will be free of your tormentors. I am living proof that you can go on to live a happy, peaceful and successful life. Just don’t give up.
I would like to post an excerpt of my book, “From Victim to Victor”. This excerpt tells the story of how I attempted to end my own life at the age of 14 after the bullying had escalated out of control. Thank you so much in advance.
“…A few of my brother’s friends had already arrived. I was in the house alone.
Now was the time I could do what I intended to do. I went into the bathroom, grabbed a bottle of Mom’s pain pills which was full, and turned it up, swallowing all but a few pills. I did not care anymore. I felt that death was a solution to me now. It was the only escape from a life of pain. Now, I would have the peace I had never known. I would sleep peacefully and eternally, feeling no pain. I would finally be free! I could go to a place where no one could ever hurt me again.
Later that night, I was rushed to a hospital in the next county and I remember feeling very angry that I was not dead yet. Why was God letting this happen to me? I just wanted everything to stop, didn’t He know that? I wanted the pain to just go the hell away and everyone to just leave me alone! I was so tired…no, I was beyond tired. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I could not help but to think,
“Does anybody even give a crap? I am going through so much hell right now and nobody seems to know it but me! Or they don’t care, one of the two! I just want someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright! But nobody will do that! Even members of my own damned family see me as nothing but a thorn in the side… pain in the ass! Maybe they would be better off if I weren’t around anymore! When am I ever going to be happy and live a good life? I’m so tired, Lord! I’m tired of being treated like I don’t matter…like I don’t have a right to have a say in anything that happens to me…like I am just supposed to take the crap with a smile.”
As the nurses surrounded me and worked diligently to set my tired body free of the pain pills which I had overdosed on, I cried not only from the pain of having my stomach pumped, but from a year of torment, the awful fight with my mom just a few short hours before and not understanding why things had turned out the way they had.
My father arrived and he was furious with me.
“What the hell’s the matter with you? Are you that starved for attention?” He said cruelly.
It seemed that nobody understood, not even my parents who were supposed to love and protect me. I was hurting and I so desperately needed one or both of them to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be alright…and if not them, somebody…anybody. I just wanted the pain to STOP! I wanted everything to stop!
I thought back to those happy days which seemed like a lifetime ago, when I had been a little girl living in Fayetteville, North Carolina and my mother and father were still married. I recalled Daddy coming home from a long day on post at Ft. Bragg, still dressed in his Army greens and scooping me up in his arms and I wondered,
“How and when did it all change? How did such happy moments turn into the god-awful, shitty mess that is now my life? At what point did things take a turn for the worse?”
I couldn’t understand it. And life at school? Having been an Army brat, I had gone to several different schools and lived in so many different areas and I had always gotten along with everyone. I was happy, I had friends…good friends, I got along with all of my teachers and even had teachers whom I loved dearly. Then we moved to Oakley, Tennessee and when I began attending school here and it was like stepping into the Twilight Zone.
Every other school I had ever gone to was the same, a peaceful and fun learning environment. Sure, there had been a few incidences of teasing but they were just that, normal teasing and very few and far between. It was not constant. However, what I endured in Oakley went way beyond teasing.
Oakley Elementary and now Oakley Junior High, on the other hand, was anything but fun and peaceful. I was now going to a school, which seemed to be full of sadistic and psychotic students and some staff. People who were hell bent on making things difficult and tearing down anyone who dared to be a little different…who had their own opinions and did their own thing.
They hated anyone who did not think like them nor act like them. They despised anyone who was quiet and who did not have a lot to say to them. They loathed anyone who had talents that they were proud of and who displayed those talents. It looked as if individuality, creativity and self-expression were off limits not only at Oakley Schools, but in the town itself and forget showing any pride.
And it was not just the mental strain I had been under but the physical as well. The loss of appetite during lunch had caused horrible afternoon headaches that were next to unbearable. The stomach pains and waves of nausea had me rushing to the bathroom. And as much as I had needed to some days, I had not been allowed to call out and go home sick because any complaints had always fallen on deaf ears. In their minds, I was faking so that I could go home early from class. Other symptoms included weight loss, huge wads of my hair falling out and FATIGUE! I had absolutely no energy! These symptoms occurred during the last two months of the past school year.
Those dinguses were making me physically sick! They were destroying my health and I knew that I was much too young to begin having problems with my health.
Later that night, I was placed in the Intensive Care Unit because the doctor thought my liver and heart had been damaged and it would be almost a week before I was transferred to a regular room.
During my stay in the ICU, there were only a few hours per day that I was allowed visitors, so there was plenty of time to reflect. As I lay in the hospital with electrodes taped to my chest, an IV stuck in my arm and an oxygen cannula in my nostrils, not only did I recall the torment, I also remembered the many people who had witnessed it firsthand…people who were in a position to speak out and possibly put a stop to it but did nothing to help. Even those who were supposed to have been my friends had often left me to fend for myself.
I can look back and recall that over the several years that I was bullied, I can only count on one hand the number of peers who did speak in my behalf. And that’s without using all five.
Even today, this happens all too often. Many bystanders who witness someone being bullied either just stand around letting it happen, turn a blind eye to it, or worse- join in ‘the fun of’ ridiculing another person.
If you are reading this and you have either witnessed or presently witness incidences of bullying, I want you to understand that if you watch another person being harassed and do nothing to help that person, you then are part of the problem. In fact, you are just as guilty as the brutes who are inflicting the torment.
How would you like it if you were being targeted and there were other people standing nearby watching you get pummeled with insults, digs, fists or feet? What if one of those people were in a position to help you but chose not to? Allow me to answer those questions. I have been there and I remember what it was like when no one stepped up to help me.
You would feel alone! And if the people who refused to help you happened to be people whom you thought were friends, you would feel betrayed…sold out…delivered up to your enemies!
Nothing is worse than the realization that someone you trust and think highly of does not value your friendship, nor think enough of you to speak against the torment. The shock of it is akin to being kicked in the stomach.
People who watch the bullying but stand by and let it happen have not the slightest idea of how it feels to be on the receiving end. They can never comprehend the pain this causes. It is a pain that most targets can see no end to. All too often, a victim results to ending his/her life to make it stop.
Suicide is one of the top causes of death among people ages 12 to 25 and the death of any young person is a tragic waste of precious life!
Some consider ridiculing another human being either funny, cool or both but to the person being ridiculed, it is anything but! Small taunts and digs can add up over time and have a cumulative result of a pain that can be devastating. The suffering of being bullied grows and each taunt, dig or cruel joke cuts a little deeper and a little deeper.
For far too long, the subject of bullying was a taboo issue to bring up in conversation or to even write about. Up until about ten years ago, most people refused to discuss it and targets often kept it hidden due to the shame that often comes with being a victim.
Why? Because in most cases, they knew that chances were that they would either be the ones blamed, accused of being the aggressor, or labeled as “weak”.
However, the reality is that it really does not matter how tough, strong, smart, or awesome a person is. Anyone can become a victim of bullying and bullies always attack in groups.
There is strength in numbers and people in large numbers can have a cumulative power which can be overwhelming even for the greatest, toughest, strongest, most intelligent of individuals. If enough people are against a person, that person is powerless, no matter how strong, smart, beautiful or easy going they may be.
It is only when we as parents and school officials open up, face the truth and admit that bullying does exist in our schools that we will be able to tackle the problem and make a safer learning environment for all students.
Within the last ten years, bullying has finally been considered a serious enough problem to make national headlines and is now at the forefront of today’s issues. I believe that this is long overdue.

Why Targets of Bullying Should be Proactive in Preserving Their Personhood


Being bullied and being stuck with unnecessary labels can very easily cause a person to self-doubt. It not only causes one not to believe in his/herself and one’s own abilities, but it can also enable that person to trust their own innate intuition if they let it. It blinds the target to people who are true as it completely zaps his/her senses of who is for real and who is fake, thus causing the loss of the ability to avoid dangerous people.

I believe that bullying is a form of brainwashing. It is repeated, repetitious, and occurs over a long period of time. It reprograms the victim’s mind and convinces the person that he/she is nothing, blinding him to his own worth as a person, to her own inner and outer beauty, and to her own intelligence. The target comes to that dreadful place where she doesn’t trust her own ability to make good decisions. He fears that anything he does and/or says will be wrong. Therefore, he keeps his talents and gifts hidden from the world for fear of ridicule.

Self-doubt keeps the target paralyzed and  they eventually begin to hide their true, awesome self. And by trying to hide their authenticity from others for fear of negative judgment, victims unwittingly dumb themselves down and make foolish decisions.

I believe that victims must avoid this at all costs. Never lose yourself because of a bully. No matter how others may treat you, always take steps to keep your authenticity. If you have any talents or gifts, display them with pride. Do things that you enjoy and spend extra time with those who love you and lift you up. You will be surprised at how great you will feel about yourself. Therefore, bullying will have less of an impact on your self-esteem.

The Face of a Bullied Child- Destiny Gleason


This breaks my heart. And this should break your hearts too and if it doesn’t, then you have no heart nor soul and there is no good in you. What if this were YOUR child? What if this were YOUR grandchild, sister, niece or cousin? How would you feel? If you were a bystander who watched her get bullied, what would you say to her? What would you say to her family?

I look at this sweet, innocent girl and I am not only sad, I am angry!!! This girl was a BEAUTIFUL girl and she had people who loved her! She HAD A FUTURE!!!

I want you to know that bullying is not cute nor is it cool! Bullying HURTS! And if you bully another person, you should be ashamed and you need serious psychological help! Anyway you slice it, bullying is unacceptable and there is absolutely no justification for it!

Anytime a child commits suicide, it is a tragic waste of young life. Hopes and dreams for this child’s future are dashed and so many loved ones are left devastated and with questions that will never be answered. That’s what bullying does!

I think it is good but long overdue that awareness of this insidious epidemic has finally spread throughout the world. I too was a target of bullying during school, from moving to a small Tennessee town in the sixth grade until I finally changed schools during my senior year in high school. Only then, did the bullying end.

I know first hand how devastating this is for any young person. I feel the pain of these poor children and adolescents. The trying to stay strong and keep a level head when it seems that everyone is against you! Having to force yourself to smile when you really want to cry! Having to hold on to your own dignity with everything you have in you! The refusing to bow down to your bullies, knowing good and well that you will end up getting it worse for that refusal to bow! The intense fear that you feel every morning before stepping onto the school bus and knowing that the moment you walk through the school entrance, bullies will be watching and waiting for you and that it is inevitable that you will be bombarded with psychological and physical attacks! The desperately wanting the torment to stop, only to have it get worse!

It is a pain that victims can see no end to…a pain that those who have not experienced it can never comprehend.

The subject of bullying is my passion and I want to help those who endure this insidious, evil, and monstrous torment today. I went to school during a time when you just did not complain about being bullied. The subject of bullying was once a very taboo subject and I feel that it is such a blessing that targets are now free to open up and speak out against their tormentors.

I have written a book about my own experiences because I believe that so many targets need to hear my story. These victims need to know that they are not alone and that there are others who have gone through the exact same circumstance.

They need to know that they DO matter, that they ARE worthy to be loved, that they CAN make friends…true friends who love them for them, and that they DO have value in spite of how brutally their peers may treat them.

They also need to know that it DOES get better, that there WILL come a time when they will no longer have to deal with their tormentors and that they CAN go on to became confident again, love themselves and live happy, peaceful and successful lives. For anyone who wants to share their story, I have a Facebook page, “The American Alliance For Bullied Children and Teens”. Wishing you all love and happiness! My thoughts and prayers go out to this young lady and to her loved ones.

I ask you, my family and friends, to look at the face of this child and tell me what you see. Look closely now! Do you think that Zero-Tolerance policies are working? I believe that it’s going to take more than just setting up policies in order to save these kids!

Destiny Gleason, we love you! Fly high, sweetheart!


A Message to Every Person Who Presently is or Who Has Ever Been a Target of Relentless Bullying

I too was a target of bullying when I moved to a small Tennessee town after having been an Army brat for most of my childhood and having lived in several different areas. From the sixth grade (arrival in this Tennessee town) until I changed schools during my senior year in high school, I was a victim of merciless and relentless bullying and even attempted suicide at age 14 because it had gotten so out of control.

I am so blessed to have survived the attempt and lived on to tell my story. I also went through a second round of bullying…bullying of the more sinister type when my husband passed away four years ago. I was cyber-bullied by not only a few of my former classmates but several others joined in and this was during a time when I was already in mourning. Bullies love to kick you when you are already down.

BUT….I want you to know that the torment will not last forever. There will come a day when you will no longer have to deal with your classmates and you can feel free to be yourself without fear of ridicule. I want you to know that your situation WILL NOT LAST FOREVER! I am living proof of this! I not only survived, but I won. I am now a very confident, happy and successful person! I am the mother of two wonderful sons and the grandmother of one precious grandson! I have a great career and so many friends that I couldn’t possibly keep up with all of them. I have written and am currently working on getting published, a book about my experiences with school bullying. My mission is to reach as many bully targets as possible around the globe and to assure them that they are awesome people in spite of what others say to or about them.

I know your situation seems hopeless and I know all too well the feeling of exhaustion that overwhelms you after having been bullied for so long. The desperately hanging on to your own dignity…the refusing to bow down to your bullies only to be bullied even more for that refusal…the being in a situation that you did not ask to be in and seeing no end to it…the wanting everything to stop! I was there once! But never give up! I know it can be unbearable at times, but hold on to yourself, hold on to hope, hold on to your future! You are worth it! You ARE worthy to be loved by others! You DO matter! You ARE an awesome person! Never forget that.