Survivors of Bullying: How Having Been Bullied Affects Them Later in Life

Good evening, everyone. Before I begin, I want to apologize for being “absent” for the last six days. I have recently started a new part time job, I am undertaking new writing assignments, I am getting married and will be moving in with my new husband in only six weeks, so I’ve had a lot on my plate during the past week. I want to assure you that this is not goodbye.

Today, I want to talk about survivors of school bullying and how having been a victim shapes their personalities. Although being a target is never a good thing, as a survivor myself, I can tell you how my own experiences has shaped me into the person I am today.

  1. Having been bullied has sharpened my “people sense”. I have a sixth sense when it comes to pointing out abusive and controlling people. Here is an excerpt of my book, “From Victim to Victor”, which explains it more thoroughly: “…I am an excellent judge of character. I am very sharp when it comes to figuring people out and I do not have to have a conversation with them to do so. When it comes to seeing through people, I have the eyes of a hawk and can spot a fake a mile away. The only thing I have to do is watch a person, noticing their demeanor, facial expressions and eyes; and I can judge with an uncanny accuracy whether or not that person is credible and I consider this a GIFT! Having been the target of bullying has a way of sharpening a person’s ability to see right through people            I am also very sensitive to the vibes that people put out. I have the ability to pick up on vibes, especially bad ones. And people can say anything with their mouths but if their vibes and/or demeanor does not match what they say, I will, without so much as a warning, drop them like a bad habit. This, I feel, is also a gift. However, these gifts came at a very high price and with a lot of misery and wasted youth. I had to be torn apart by people many times before acquiring and honing these gifts…”
  2. I am very clear on what I will not tolerate. I do not tolerate abuse from anyone and I will call the bully out every chance I get, even if it means facing consequences for it.
  3. I have empathy for and always side with the underdog. One thing that pisses me off worse than anything is seeing someone being mistreated and I will not hesitate to come to that person’s defense. Therefore, if you are a bully and I catch you harassing another person, you will have me to deal with and trust me, it won’t be pretty! You will walk away feeling lower than the person you just bullied. If you think I’m talking just to hear myself speak, go ahead and try it! Please! Pick on an innocent victim in front of me! I dare you! And see what transpires when you do!
  4. As a survivor of bullying, I am difficult figure out because I have an exterior which is difficult to penetrate. I am a private person, so never ask me any questions which are personal. I promise you, you will get a very stern and maybe even a rude, “it’s none of your business” if you do. I feel very insulted when I am asked questions about my personal life because if the person didn’t think I would give them an answer, they would never ask! Although this should go without saying, there are so many rude and nosey people in this world who have no sense of values or respect.
  5. I make it a point not to kiss ass. I spent too many years in school being made to feel that I had no choice but to suck up in order to keep from getting hurt and a lot of good it did me. No more! No way! I don’t believe in joining cliques and getting buddy buddy with you until you have proven that you can be trusted. Understand that winning my trust will take time. Understand that if I do not want to do something, I won’t do it no matter what ramifications I may face thereafter. Also, I love myself and do not need anyone’s approval. I have come to know my own worth as a person and I don’t feel I have to rub noses with those in power or who are considered VIPs in order to feel important.

Have a wonderful evening, everyone!

 

 

 

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