The Difference Between Bullied Girls and Bullied Boys

Good evening everyone, I hope you’re enjoying the holiday weekend.

Although I’m female and have discussed bullying mainly from a female perspective, I would like to help you distinguish between the plights of bullied girls and bullied boys. Wishing everyone peace, health, love and happiness!

In the case of the female target, after having been bullied by her peers and reporting it to school staff and even members of her own family; only to be rebuffed, ignored or blamed, she feels alone in the world and that no one understands her. Consequently, as a result of not feeling loved by family and or her peers, she uses the only thing she feels she has left to offer- her sex appeal. She turns to sexual/dating partners to get the love and approval that she is missing out on and craves so badly. This usually does not end well.

For boys, however, it can be much worse. In most cases, boys don’t have the option to use the opposite sex as a Band-Aid for their emotional needs. Boys are expected to be strong and tough…to display manhood. All too often, the bullied boy has been emasculated and he sees no way to reclaim his manhood. In essence, he has been “feminized” by his bullies. Male targets are often called “sissy”, “pussy”, “bitch” and other names which attack the masculinity and cause them to feel less like men.

Also, it’s considered taboo for a boy to report being bullied. Oftentimes, young men who complain of being bullied are referred to by others as a “whiner” and told to “toughen up”, “suck it up” or “man up” because they’re going against what is perceived as “man-code”. This can also erode the male self-esteem. Once a young man is stripped of his manhood, it’s next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. The suicide rate is much higher in males than in females.

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9 thoughts on “The Difference Between Bullied Girls and Bullied Boys

  1. Well, in my case, I was an unattractive girl so the boys bullied me just as much as the girls. No guy would have been caught dead being seen with me so there was no outlet there and no way to find anything that resembled acceptance from the opposite sex. The biggest difference I saw was that the boys were subject to physical bullying much more often than the girls.

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    • I understand, Lisa. I am so sorry that you had to endure such horrible treatment. I know all too well of the pain this causes.

      I was also bullied by the boys in my age group because they wanted to stay in the good graces of the girls. It was in this way that the girls who bullied me destroyed any chance of dating in my age group. So…instead of dating in the high school age range, I dated guys of the college age range…who didn’t know about my undeserved horrible reputation. It was a way for me to…um…”get around”…my destroyed reputation and find opportunities to date. I was not going to be undone so easily. That was my mentality at the time. I was going to date like everyone else. I was just that determined.

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  2. When I reported kidnapping and child mutilation, after years of neurotrauma, the authorities jeered me as a wuss who had only been bullied and I was set upon and tortured horrifically by CMU, including the rape of my born deaf advocate who has epilepsy and Down Syndrome. For nothing would they stop. They profiteered, and slaved me, for decades. I was homeless and gravely abused, poisoned internally by hospital violence. I completely deny wrongdoing. I appealed to the wrong me. They made me a symbolic sacrifice and slasher rippered an innocent woman in warning. I am dealing with the criminally insane.

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  3. I am so sorry you went through that. Unfortunately, when someone reports any kind of abuse, people sometimes look at them as if either they deserved it or that they are weak. You were brave in reporting it so you weren’t the person with the issue. It seems that your tormentors and the authorities whom you reported it to ALL had serious issues. I believe that you can move on to a happy and successful life. Usually, when people are downtrodden, they find a way to use what they’ve been through, turn it into a positive, and live a happier life. This is what I wish for you.

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  4. Good article. I will say this in fairness. The physical side of bullying is changing unfortunately. You have a lot of girls that aren’t only verbally bullying other girls but now you are seeing an increase in the violence of females against other girls and even a growing amount of physical violence against boys as well. Society is really changing on that. It is a shame. So much for the “gentler” sex.

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  5. The difference is, when boys get bullied (sometimes both verbally AND physically), not only do boys tend to have to be able to prove the bullying and abuse actually happened, but they usually have to prove to ignorant society that they didn’t say or do anything to ‘provoke/deserve it’. When GIRLS get bullied (especially by boys), however, people in society tend to just take their word for it, even if what they are claiming is not true, and most people don’t care WHAT a girl said or did to prove physical harm

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    • You are so right, Michael. The deck is stacked against males in this aspect. Although I am a woman, I know all too well that females often bully males because they know that if the male tries to defend himself by hitting back after she hit him first, society will sanction him for it because…he is a boy. In my opinion, females are the most vicious of bullies because they use their gender and are sly and cunning when they bully. Nine times out of ten, they get away with their bullying behavior, then move on to bully other innocent people. It’s really a sad thing that society hasn’t awoken to this type of bullying. And maybe they have but just don’t want to believe it.

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