Archive | April 2017

Why Being Bullied Impacts Grades

Being a victim of bullying can affect all aspects of a person’s life and they may be able to hide the pain and pretend everything is okay. However, the truth will show up in the falling of their grades. When this happens, two factors are at play here.

First, because of the intense circumstances which surround them (fear, hyper-vigilance, having to fight constantly), victims must focus so much of their time and energy on ways to protect themselves and also must be on constant look out for people whom want to harm them. This takes their concentration away from where it should be- schoolwork! How can anyone properly concentrate on lessons when they live in fear and constantly have to look over their shoulders? The human brain can only handle so much.

Second, it’s no secret that victims of bullying suffer from low self-esteem. After so long having been told that they aren’t good enough, victims begin to believe it themselves and a condition known as “learned helplessness” sets in. And it happens on a subconscious level, without the target even being aware of it. Victims simply give up and either stop trying altogether, or do just enough to pass by the skin of their teeth.

This was me when I was in school and a victim of relentless bullying. I lived in constant fear and had to grow eyes in the back of my head to keep from being hurt. Because of this constant state of alert, I could not properly focus on my studies. I soon grew tired, gave up on getting high grades and began to do just enough to get by. I just didn’t care as long as it was a passing grade and I made it to graduation. I no longer made plans to go to college. Instead, I only wanted to marry the first guy who made me laugh and settle into having a family after high school. It was the only thing I thought I would be good at.

Parents, if your child is a victim of bullying. Don’t stop fighting for them. Today, there are plenty of resources that offer support, guidance and love for victims and their families and there are things you can do. If you are a victim of bullying, don’t give up on yourself. It gets better, much better! You are worth fighting for! You are worth LIVING for! You can do this!

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Awesome News! My Author’s Website and Blog are Now Up and Running!

I’m very excited about this new endeavor! I believe it will help so many children and teens who are hurting and desperately need their voices heard! Here’s the link!

http://www.authorcheriewhite.com/category/blog/

A Few Bad Apples In the Teaching Profession: Teachers Who Bully Students

Although the vast majority of teachers are very good, hard-working, caring people who love all children and deserve the utmost respect, there are always a few bad apples, who clearly do not belong in the teaching profession. Teachers can also be bullies and it is something that is often denied and few people ever admit.

Out of about 30 teachers that I had during my years in school, about 3 were bullies themselves. And because of the power dynamic, there is sadly not much that can be done to protect yourself against a bully teacher.

The only thing to do is to be the best student you can possibly be and do it for yourself. Do not try to impress the bullying teacher because if your efforts seem contrived, you will only become an even bigger target for being a try-hard. Just be your sweet, smart, awesome self and hold on to your self-esteem. Never allow yourself to be convinced that you are less than.

Have a wonderful day!

Facebook Sinks to All-Time Low by Allowing Murder to be Posted Live

During the last few days, I have seen news reports of how “Stevie Steve” Stephens murdered an elderly Ohio man in cold blood, at random and telling everyone to blame his estranged girlfriend for the act. What’s even more sinister is the fact that he did it live on Facebook. Even more atrocious is that Facebook ALLOWED the video to be publicly posted! I don’t know how long the video had been public, nor am I sure how many sets of eyes viewed it before they decided to take it down, all I know is that it was seen all over the globe.

How is it that we’ve gotten so desensitized over the years that people actually view murder as entertainment? How can Facebook allow such garbage to be posted publicly, knowing that the man had family who would more than possibly see it and that there are millions of children who also use them and other social media vehicles every day?

I’ve personally seen Facebook try to dictate to certain people what they can and cannot post. Surprisingly, however, the people Facebook censors are mostly people whom spread good news, positive posts, and whom never post anything harmful, threatening or lewd. So many of my friends in the Bullying Awareness Movement are being restricted, yet Facebook allows this creep to video himself slaying another human being! It seems that Facebook are only hypocrites whom continue to hold so many others to a double-standard.

I believe that Facebook is in dyer need of government regulation, limitation and stiffer competition through the development of a new and more wholesome social media platform. Too many highly inappropriate posts and videos are being posted on Facebook and too many psychopaths and freaks are given free passes by Facebook to post any garbage they want…posts and vids which anyone with any class and/or sense would never read or watch. Yet they advertise this garbage in the suggested sites navigation pain, even if you have never and would never go to these sites. If I was the type of person who wanted to see images of death and murder, I would go to rotten dot com (notice I didn’t post it as a link. Not on my blog!)

Sure, I use Facebook just as everyone does these days. However, I do see serious issues with this social media giant, which need to be addressed. I believe that we should be given better choices as to what we view. I also believe that Facebook needs to have a more robust moderation team, which evaluates posts BEFORE they are posted and they need to think about the millions of children who are on the grid and use good judgement. Once they do this, they just might be able to redeem themselves and become a better platform, therefore preventing children from seeing inappropriate posts for their age-groups and preventing families, like the family of the elderly Ohio man, from seeing the most horrible and unthinkable crimes against their loved ones. My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Robert Godwin.

This entry was posted on April 18, 2017. 2 Comments

The Positive Side to Having a Few Enemies

What I’m about to tell you may sound strange to some and leave them scratching their heads. It did the same to me when my grandmother discussed the same with me in the car on a cold and rainy afternoon as we were coming home from shopping at the mall so many years ago. She said, “There is a bright side to having a few enemies.”

Being a teenager, I gave her a puzzled look and asked, “What could possibly be so good about that?” Now that I’m older, I understand what she was saying and I admire her for the wisdom she passed onto me.

Enemies can unwittingly teach us what to look out for in the future when we meet new people. From enemies, we learn to watch for a certain demeanor, mannerisms, body language, facial expressions and gestures. In doing this, they ultimately teach us ways to avoid people who pose a threat to our progress and physical and psychological well-being and who mean us harm.

More importantly, enemies also teach us to better appreciate the people who love us and to show unwavering and patient love to our loved ones AND to ourselves.

Our foes can also keep us. They can unknowingly motivate us to succeed in life and become better people. They can drive us to make more friends and excel in everything we do. Enemies keep us on our toes and can be used as the fuel that drives us to our dreams and ambitions. Just ask Kate Winslett. She used her enemies as her determination to reach her goals.

Enemies don’t have to be a bad thing. My enemies are my motivation! Always use your enemies and their evil games to your advantage. I am living proof that it WORKS LIKE A CHARM!

This entry was posted on April 17, 2017. 2 Comments

Hard Work and Determination are Nothing Without Confidence

You can have all the determination in the world and work like a slave but without confidence, you are just spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. Determination without confidence equals desperation and desperation comes from a spirit of lack instead of abundance. Our thoughts have a way of becoming our realities and the vibes we send out always come back.

Without confidence, it is a proven fact that you will not perform as well at school or work and it’s more likely that you will struggle with relationships. Confidence equals great performance, equals success, equals even MORE CONFIDENCE than what you had before!!!

Confidence and a winning attitude are what life is all about. One of my favorite speakers is Zig Ziglar and he talks about “Stinkin Thinkin” and the damage it can do to your confidence and self esteem. Everyone has fleeting thoughts of negativity that creep into the mind from time to time…everyone…including those who are the most confident. However, the difference between the optimist and the pessimist is that optimists refuse to entertain those thoughts. They immediately replace them with thoughts of positivity and therefore, keep it in their lives. If you are normally a Negative Nancy and you begin doing this, it will feel awkward at first. But the more you do it, the better you will be until it finally becomes like second nature.

So begin today! Turn negative thoughts into thoughts of success, gratitude, and happiness and watch situations change for the better…like MAGIC! I say this because it happened for me.

There will be failure. It’s just a part of life. But remember. Failure is the mother of success. Thomas Edison failed 99 times before he was successful with the electric light bulb. Can you imagine how he must have felt after five, ten, twenty…FIFTY failures? Can you imagine how others made fun of him, pointed fingers and laughed at him and told him he could never do it???

Thomas Edison could have indulged in negative thinking and allowed himself to give up. And he could have proven his naysayers and haters right. But he chose to see it through! He was confident enough not to quit! He had the determination to run the race until he reached the finish line and oooh! The rewards he reaped! So don’t you dare lose that confidence! Let no one still your joy nor your shine!

Always keep that confident momentum going and you will be on the right path for the rest of your life. With confidence and a winning smile and attitude, you can achieve beyond your wildest dreams!

God commands the Universe. And the Universe always gives you what you ask for. If you send a certain vibe out you always get it back, good or bad. If you are negative, you are unwittingly asking for more negativity and will attract negative situations into your life. But if you are positive, confident, happy and at peace then you are asking for more of the same and it shall be given to you. So keep showing your pearly whites and smile from the heart! Zig Ziglar also talked about a spirit of gratitude and counting your blessings! Being thankful, for even the smallest victories, is the fastest way to turn any negative into a positive. Mr. Ziglar was right!

The Importance of Confidence over Perfection

Self-confidence is THE one key ingredient that everyone must have to succeed in life. When you have it, you have better and more fulfilling relationships, you are more successful in school and in your career. You have more dates, friends, are more likely to have a great marriage and raise confident and successful children.

But a Perfectionist, on the other hand, is not a confident person and has to work so much harder just to go through life. A perfectionist is insecure with herself and others. She focuses more on herself than others and is always worried about what others may think and say about her. This is why she tries so hard to be…well…perfect.

A perfectionist is both critical of herself and others and tends to have strained relationships because of her obsessive need to be right…all the time…and about EVERYTHING! She thinks that she must be perfect for others to like her and covertly seeks validation from others rather than looking within herself for it. And the outcome is usually adverse.

A confident person realizes that no one is perfect and that they will make mistakes. When that person does make a mistake, she doesn’t make a big deal about it and beat herself up. Sure, she may be disappointed for a short while but she always gets over it very quickly and “bounces back”.

She may even have a few people who do not like her. But being the confident person she is, she doesn’t concern herself with how she’s perceived because she knows that she is awesome and that there are plenty of others who DO love her. A confident person is a “proud to be me” kind of individual and always takes care of herself and the people she loves. She always surrounds herself with positive and uplifting people who love her and steers clear of the negative people who want to bring her down.

A confident person sees beauty where a perfectionist only sees flaws. She sees opportunity where a perfectionist sees strife and hard luck.

When I was young, I was a perfectionist. Why? Because I was a beaten down and very negative person who couldn’t see the forest for the trees and I felt I had to be A-1 best before people would like me. I had yet to realize that all I ever had to be was my natural, authentic self.

When I began to love myself, flaws, quirks and all, things began to change…and for the better. Now…I am a confident and happy woman. I am at peace and comfortable in my own skin. Everywhere I look there is opportunity. Everywhere I look, there is beauty…because I look for it. I love myself and the people around me.

There’s no benefit to being a perfectionist, you only end up working too hard to meet standards which are more than likely impossible to meet, spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. Also, you end up failing miserably and in the process, looking like a try-hard.

Confidence, on the other hand is FREEING and it allows you to be you without fear. It also brings patience, faith and positive self-awareness. Instead of spinning your wheels, you move slowly, steadily and PATIENTLY toward your goals, step by step, until you eventually reach them, therefore reaching success!