Archive | May 2017

Good Reads for Victims of Bullying and Other Forms of Abuse.

“How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie

“How to Work a Room” by Susan Roane

“Cracking the Communication Code” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

“The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene

“The 33 Strategies of War” by Robert Greene

“Mastery” by Robert Greene

“The Confidence Game: Why we Fall for it…Every Time” by Maria Konnikova

Any book which teaches body language! Amy Cuddy is the best!

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Thank You Mother for the Sacrifices You Made!

Good morning, everyone. Today, I would like to give recognition to my mother, who, in my opinion, is the most awesome person in my life. Up or down, thin or flush, she has stood by me and saved me from so many terrible things which could have happened. As a bullied teenager, I made so many poor choices that when I look back, I am truly amazed that I’m still alive today to talk about it. She is the reason, I’m still here. I can only imagine the nights my mom sat up while praying and crying for me back then. Although I did not appreciate her efforts back then and even snubbed them, my heart overflows with love and gratitude today. When I think of the amazing sacrifices she has made, tears come to my eyes. She is the glue which holds the family together and my gratitude knows no bounds.

I thank my mother for having the resolve to hold firm when we wanted something that wasn’t good for us. No matter what we threw at her, she didn’t back down and kept us from doing things, which could have had a very negative impact on our futures. Because of her tenacity, I didn’t drop out of high school when the bullying from classmates became next to unbearable and it would be a stepping stone to an eventual college degree. I could never have done it without her. Although we had a turbulent relationship during my ‘Hell’ years, I now sing her praises every chance I get. I have nothing but honor and respect for both of my parents…”

Mom, words can’t express how truly grateful I am for your patience and resilience. I’m who I am today because of you. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! Know that you are truly special in the eyes of not only your children, but so many others!

“Her children rise up and call her blessed” Proverbs 31:28

What the US Presidents, Past and Present Should Teach You if You are a Victim of Bullying

Every US President, from Kennedy to Reagan to Clinton, from Bush, Obama to Trump, they all had bullies and enemies. They all had people who talked bad about them, they all had “haters”, with Clinton and Trump, being perhaps the two worst talked-about presidents. And the thing is, these presidents were considered “highly successful” and “exceptional” people. They had to be to hold such esteemed positions as President of the United States of America.

This should be proof that anytime someone says negative things about you, or bullies you, that it really is NOT about you. If such high ranking officials get verbally assaulted everyday, even by the news media, then you must know that everyone…EVERYONE has people who hate them. And because they get bullied, doesn’t mean they are in any way defective.

Remember that bullies want you to believe that you are less than and want to convince others of this too. It is no different in Washington, DC anytime an election rolls around or when a new president takes office. It’s like this with all office holders. The difference is that they “choose” not to let any of it bring them down and they go on to do their jobs as they see fit, despite having a barrage of the most malicious insults and criticism thrown in their directions.

The moral of this is: If presidents get bullied and they’re able to see through the lies and know their own worth, then naturally, you should too. You are not a wimp, crazy, loser or whatever they call you. Presidents have been called the worst names in the English Language, yet they still know their value and kept pushing their agendas because they know in their hearts that they are neither of these things. You can be the richest, most successful, most beautiful, and most awesome and still have people who look down on you. Therefore, you should know also that YOU…are not what your bullies call you. You don’t have to change for anyone. Stay your true, awesome self! You’re worth it!

Survivors of Bullying: Should You Send Your Children to the Same School in which You Were Bullied?

As an activist in the Bullying Awareness Movement, I’ve had many adult survivors of school bullying ask me whether they should send their children to the same school where they were bullied themselves as children and teens. Naturally, my response is an emphatic “NO!” or more appropriately, an emphatic “HELL NO!”

Having been a target of bullying from grade six until I finally escaped through a school transfer, I decided during my pregnancy with my first child, that should we ever have to move back to the town I was bullied in, hell would freeze before my children would grace the halls of the school there. My question at the time was, “What parent worth their own salt would subject their children to that kind of learning environment?”

Here are my reasons for keeping my kids clear of *Oakley Schools:

1. Bullies tend to take jobs which give them authority (Teaching, Law Enforcement, Corrections Officer, Supervisor, etc.). I knew that by the time my babies reached school age, the majority of my former bullies would be teachers in the small town where I had been a victim (teaching is the second highest profession for workplace bullying).

2. In small, redneck Southern towns, such as the town in which I was victimized, the country-hick mentality is this: “If we hate you, we will hate your children even more.”. I knew that because these country hicks had targeted me in the past, it was a safe bet that upon their finding out who my children’s mother was, they would target my babies as well, if not worse. Anytime you are or have been a victim of bullies, anything (or anyone) you love and care about is always fair game to them. If they come for you, they will come for those you love also.

I realize that in this day and age of progress and advanced technology, this may sound a little “Hatfield and McCoy” but things like this do happen and more so than we know.

Every situation is unique and naturally, everyone has had different experiences, which shape their perspectives and I respect all differences of view. So, again I ask you. Should adult survivors send their kids to the same school, in which they were bullied? Feel free to give your own opinion in comments below.

(*not the real name of the school district)