Angela Green and FLAWS-R-FAB

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As human beings, we are all imperfect beings. We all have flaws. Some are more apparent than others. Today, it seems that being different is scrutinized more than ever and people are more than happy to point them out in others in order to make themselves feel better or appear better than or more superior. Nevertheless, we must accept ourselves, even embrace ourselves as we are.

Flaws-R-Fab is a website I love because not only does it tackle bullying and peer abuse, it also encourages self acceptance. Let’s face it. If God intended for everyone to be the same, we would all have dark hair and dark eyes, blonde hair or blue eyes…you get the point.

Change the things you can change, but accept those that you can’t change. I dare you.

https://flaws-r-fab.org/

A Post From My Friend and Fellow Blogger and Advocate, Alan Eisenberg

Bullying and School Shootings
By Alan Eisenberg February 19, 2018

Crossing the Line

A few years ago now, I published my book, “Crossing the Line”, which is a fictional account of why a school shooting might take place by a bullied victim. While it is a fictional book, I spent countless hours reading studies and interviews where the shooter was a bully victim looking for revenge or just trying to protect themselves after the mental breakdown that bullying can cause.

This is in no way an excuse for what happens when a school shooting takes place. But we do need to look at the rationalization and change our conversations. With the most recent shooting in Florida, there is no correlation to bullying, but mental health is again a factor. It seems that most of the time it is. Studies have shown a proclivity between bullying and school shooting or bringing a weapon to school.

There are two major issues that seem to come up when a mass shooting happens. One group speaks loudly about gun control and the other speaks loudly about mental health. I feel as though we take extremes, instead of looking to the middle. So, I decided to record a special episode of Healthy U (the podcast) on this subject to share my own personal story with bullying and school violence. It is attached here and I hope you’ll watch it. I would love to hear your own opinion.

Here is the link to Alan’s blog. He is the CEO of Bullying Recovery, an organization which deals with bullying and helps victims. Alan is also a survivor of school bullying. I admire his work in addressing the issue of bullying in schools and the damage it does to our most precious, our children. Alan has a lot of great information and I highly recommend his page and his organization to anyone who is or knows someone who is suffering at the hands of a bully. To watch his podcast, click on the link below:

https://bullyingrecovery.org/2018/02/19/bullying-school-shootings/

“They Should Still Be Here!”

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Today, while driving Roxie, my little reddish-blonde Pomeranian to the groomer’s, I passed what was once the home and property of my Dad and Stepmother, whom are now both deceased. At the age of only 53, my father passed away from complications of Acute Mylogeneous Leukemia in the summer of 2005. My stepmother passed away eight years later of complications from Lupus. She was only 63.

Each time I pass that beautiful two-story home and spread of property, spotted with gorgeous flower beds and bushes and covered with fresh green grass, I cannot help but gaze at it, remembering how overgrown the place was when they bought it. During the fifteen years my dad and stepmom lived there, they transformed the place from the eyesore it had once been to the gorgeous stretch of property it is today. Even now, years after their deaths, the blood, sweat and tears they both poured into the place is still evident! And I find myself thinking, “My Goodness! They should still be here!”

I go on thinking, “I should be able to pull into the driveway even today and see my father sitting on that wrap-around porch, taking a draw off a cigarette and looking over the property, beaming with pride at the results of years of hard, often hot work. I should be able to see my stepmother crouched in one of the flower beds, pulling weeds with gloved hands.”.

I often ask myself if these thoughts are sinful…if thinking this way is, in fact, the same as saying that maybe God was wrong in taking them at such early ages. So I think this with caution. Then I remind myself…or maybe it is God reminding me that I am only human and it is only my mere mortal and human mind which cries out, “They should still be here!”. And that God’s ways are beyond all comprehension…beyond our human understanding.

The reality is that, in the grand scheme of things, God’s plan is that some will not grow to a ripe old age like others. But that’s okay because although I miss them terribly, I can take comfort in knowing that my Dad and Stepmother are in a much better place than any of us left here on Earth. Nevertheless, each time I drive past that old house and stretch of property, my heart can’t help but cry out, “They should still be here!”.

Books by Cherie White
www.lulu.com/spotlight/Cherie72

Catch Them Before They Become Shooters (Part 3): Don’t Do It!!!

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As I mentioned in the two earlier posts, school shootings are at an all-time high today. This must STOP!

No matter how horribly you are treated, no matter how angry, sad or lonely you are, it is never okay to take a life. NEVER! Bullying and mental illness, although a cause, it is never an excuse! There is nothing…nothing that justifies killing another human being unless you have an intruder in your home and they are threatening your life and the lives of your family. Murder is wrong and there are better and more productive ways to handle being bullied.

Let’s put it another way: Anytime you bring a gun to school and shoot a bully who has tormented you, you automatically cease to be a victim and make them (the bully) the victim. Sorry, but it is what it is! When you kill someone, you no longer get to claim victimhood. That’s just how the world works. Instead, you make the BULLY the victim!

This is exactly what bullies want…to look like the victim in the eyes of others while sneakily torturing their targets and making them look like the bad guys. By shooting them, you only make it so much easier for them to do that.

Remember that bullies are masters at feigning victimhood, which is the reason they go unpunished while the target looks guilty. Your bullies have looked innocent and vilified you in the eyes of others for far too long! Why then would you want to make them even bigger victims than what they already look like? They have already destroyed your reputation and shooting them would only confirm the lies they have spread about you as truth…that you really did turn out to be a despicable person.

Let’s look at it yet, a third way: If you shoot your bullies, their names will be engraved on a memorial at the school, while your name will be regarded with shame and contempt. You will go down in history as a disgusting and vile monster while your bullies will be remembered as either heroes or martyrs. Seriously! Is that what you want???

When you take the life of another human being, you not only put shame on yourself, but also your entire family! Do you really want to put the people who love you through that? Once you kill someone, you can never rectify it!

Nicolas Cruz sure didn’t think about this when he snapped and decided to go to Margorie Stoneman Douglas High School and shoot his classmates. Yes. He was a victim of bullying because he was considered “weird”. One of his classmates, Emma Gonzales even admitted to ostracizing him. Yes, his classmates should have reached out to him. However, because he chose to handle it the wrong way by picking up a gun, the fact that he was ostracized is no longer relevant. That’s…Just…Reality! If you shoot someone, nobody will care what your reasons were. Nobody cares that he was bullied. Nobody cares that he was pushed over the edge! And if you let them drive you to do something so counterproductive, no one will give a damn that they drove you to do it, truth or not!

Yes, bullying is a hell that only few can comprehend. I understand the intense rage which builds to a burning climax after having been dehumanized for so many years. I understand the feeling of hopelessness. Why? Because I’ve been there…in the trenches! Trust me when I say, “I get that”. But…you must think before you act. You must keep your wits about you, no matter how difficult it may be. Thinking ahead and of the possible consequences I might have faced and how it would have devastated my family and killed any prospects of a great future was what kept me from doing something which would have altered my own life and the lives of not only my classmates and their families, but also members of my own family as well. With that said, I beg you! DON’T DO IT! If at anytime you’re being bullied and you’re about to lose control, get help…FAST!

Instead, conquer your bullies by taking care of yourself and making positive changes in your own life. Transfer to another school and reinvent yourself if you must. It’s what I did! Accomplish your goals and strive for self-betterment! It could be as simple as doing something you’re good at and winning an award for it, or making an A on a test! Instead of picking up a gun, grab as many successes as you can reach. Instead of a gun, let SUCCESS be your weapon of choice! Because, as Frank Sinatra quoted, “being wildly successful is the absolute best revenge you can ever take” against a bully! I guarantee it!

It’s about self! Make it about you and what you can achieve! Forget those who don’t give you a thought! Screw ’em! Because they don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life anyway! Make a lot of money! Win a truckload of awards! Write a book! Cut a CD…whatever fulfills you! Grab as many successes and happy moments as humanly possible! That’s what you do when people refuse to see your value!

Create your own value with SUCCESS!