Someone came to me with a burning question that I used to ask all the time. I am certain that millions of people around the world have asked the same question, “Why do People Bully?”.
There are many answers and they all depend on the individual bully.
1. Spoiled, Coddled, Narcissistic bullies.
These kinds of bullies bully because they are arrogant and overconfident. They truly believe that they are superior to and better than anyone else and will stop at nothing to let you know who’s boss. They are self-entitled, self-serving and have no empathy. With people such as these, the ends always justify the means. They do everything possible to keep the spotlight on themselves and hog all the glory. They consider themselves highly privileged. These kids are also jealous of anyone who outshines or outdoes them in any way because they believe that any happiness, successes, accolades, and victories should be reserved for only them. If you have a talent which brings you recognition, look out! Because these bullies will punish you for it and they will pull out all stops to crush your self-esteem and kill your confidence.
You will often find these kids in the popular and preppy crowd. These kids will often be jocks, cheerleaders and sorority/fraternity nuts.
2. Hurting and Victimized Bullies (Bully-Victims)
These types of bullies bully because they are being bullied themselves either in the home, at school or both. These kids feel powerless. So, in order to reclaim some of the power which has been stripped away from them, they search for someone they perceive to be even weaker than they are and bully them. These kids have a strong need to feel like they have control over something in their lives.
Here’s an example:
A child is yelled at by his parents, then he gets mad and kicks the dog. This is why I call this “Kicking the Dog”.
Also, no one wants to be on the bottom of the pecking order. As the age-old saying goes, “Sh** rolls downhill and lands at the bottom”. So, in order to stay off the bottom, these kids will often find someone else to bully so they don’t feel like they’re the ones stuck in the basement.
3. Bullies who Are Followers, Drones and Wannabes
These bullies are to be pitied because they are quite pathetic when you really think of it. These kids will suck up to the in-crowd (the narcissistic bullies) and all too often, they do this by either bullying those lower on the social totem pole, or participating in the bullying somehow. Many of these young people will say, ‘How High?’ when a person from the in-crowd tells them to jump. They often do the dirty work of the narcissistic bullies, join in with them in bullying others, or agree with them. But understand that these kids are only kiss-butts and brown-noses and are only bullying you or your child for a ticket into the popular crowd or because they’re afraid of becoming their next target.