“A profit is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” Mark 6:4
You want to live bully-free. You long for people to give you space and the chance to relax, be yourself, and to live a rewarding and meaningful life. You want opportunities to flow into your life and to live by your own standards. If you are or were bullied, you probably have the desire to reinvent yourself and attract love and respect.
Unfortunately, to do this, you will have to leave town if you were bullied in school. The reason is that if you don’t move, you will always be known as that “loser”, that “whore”, that “lowlife”, “crazy”, or whatever label people stuck you with in high school and no one will give you a chance no matter what. You will always be known for being the kid who was bullied by everyone- known for being “Everybody’s B!&$#” and you will more than likely continue to be targeted long after graduation, especially if you’re in a small town or rural area.
In a new geological area, however, you will be the new kid in town- that new kid who is mysterious, intriguing and beguiling! You will be the person everyone is anxious to meet because they feel that you’re full of hope and promise. In a new town, you can reinvent and redefine yourself. You can rewrite your own story and give a stellar first impression, then let it speak for itself. As a result, you will be successful at anything and attract endless opportunities for love, friendship, and advancement.
But back in the old town, you’re the kid who was desperate for attention and any success you have will only be viewed as another ploy to show off and impress others, which will cause you to become a target as an adult, whereas any failure will be looked at by others as an “I told you so” opportunity and confirmation to them that you really are a loser. In a new town, your value comes from what you put out. You are judged by the fruit you bare, whereas, in the old town, you are judged by who you were in school. You are judged solely by your reputation, which was ruined in school.
In a town in which you were bullied, nobody will be interested in how much you’ve grown and changed as a person. Others do not want to hear about any successes you’ve enjoyed or accomplishments you’ve made because it would only force them to consider that maybe you’re not such a bad person after all and quiet their own judgment of you. And because no one wants to be wrong about anything, they’ll only dig their heels in and double-down on their judgments and attitudes toward you.
It’s next to impossible to discover your true potential when others define you by who they perceive you to be. Because their perceptions of you will always be negative and they will do everything they can to keep you in your place. It’s a box you will never be able to get out of no matter what. However, when you move to a new environment, you are more likely to advance in anything. You’re more likely to get the breakthrough you’ve for so long awaited.
You could become an expert at something later in life and people would respect you for it anywhere else, but if you took that expertise to the town you were bullied in, very few would be impressed. Move to a new locale and show what you know, then you’ll have notoriety no matter what. You can always return a few years later after you’ve built your confidence and your social and creative portfolios, but don’t be surprised if you notice all the things that suck about the old town, one of which will be the reception you get from the people there. Another thing that will most likely disappoint you is that you will have had more life changes than any of the people who stayed and they would only bore the crap out of you.
So, get out of Dodge- fast! Go to a brand-new place and discover yourself! You want to get beyond the confines of your reputation and the only way to do that is to pack your bags and get out of the town you were bullied in! It’s the only way you’ll become what you want to be and move up in the world! Once you do, you’ll have a level of respect, influence and best of all- freedom, that you never would’ve achieved had you stayed in your hometown!