To protect yourself from becoming a target of bullying, you must be able to identify a potential bully before you ever interact with the person. Fortunately, this is easier than you think. How you find out who the bullies are is by watching and listening to what is going on around you.
How I wish I knew this when I was in school!
Here are some sure-fire red flags that a person is a bully:
Red Flag 1. Arrogance and a Superior Attitude – the person has their nose in the air and thinks his bowel movements smell sweeter than anyone else’s. This person never walks, they strut like a banty rooster. They have their head back, and chin jutted outward, appearing to look down their noses at others. These stuck up bullies often take up space, either standing with feet apart and hands on their hips or they sit their feet propped on their desks or a table with hands and fingers laced behind their hands and elbows out. The arrogant person will also sit with one leg draped over a chair arm.
Red Flag 2. They treat lunch ladies, janitors, waiters and clerks with inferiority – if the person or group treats anyone who does menial work like garbage and acts as if they are above/better than “such” people, they are more than likely bullies! Also, watch how they treat kids in special education or Sped teachers.
Red Flag 3. Self-Entitlement – These people are incredibly pushy and don’t know when to shut up or take ‘no’ for an answer. They think the world and everyone in it owe them and that everyone should grant them anything they desire without expecting anything in return. People such as these believe that they shouldn’t have to work for anything because work is ‘beneath them.’ If they do not get what they want, they can be downright vindictive and bitter. Rules don’t apply to them and neither does the word ‘no’. If anyone tells them ‘no,’ or what to do, they will surely take it as an insult. Then, God help you!
Red Flag 4. They are Suck-ups and Charming to people who can benefit them somehow, or they are too good to be true – If a person seems too good to be true, they probably are! Bullies are notorious for putting on the perfect act, but no one can be completely perfect 100% of the time. The overwhelming charm these people exude is probably a front either to get something from you or to lull you into bringing down your defenses and win your trust before they attack you later. Usually, if someone is using charm and charisma for self-serving purposes, you will feel it in your gut. You’ll feel that something is “off” about the person but won’t be able to put your finger on it. But listen to your instincts and put some distance between yourself and that person. Pronto! Better to be safe than sorry.
I will reveal more red flags in the next post! Stay tuned!
(To be continued in Part 2…)