Although I’m female and have discussed bullying mainly from a female perspective, I would like to help you distinguish between the plights of bullied girls and bullied boys. Wishing everyone peace, health, love and happiness!
In the case of the female target, after having been bullied by her peers and reporting it to school staff and even members of her own family; only to be rebuffed, ignored or blamed, she feels alone in the world and that no one understands her.
Bullied girls are shamed in their looks, femininity and virtues. They are called names like “hoe,””whore,” “slut”, and often shamed about their weight and their appearance. Even sadder is the reality that if their self-esteem is low enough, some live up to the names they’re called.
Consequently, as a result of not feeling loved by family and or her peers, she uses the only thing she feels she has left to offer- her sex appeal. She turns to sexual/dating partners to get the love and approval that she is missing out on and craves so badly. This usually does not end well.
For boys, however, it can be much worse. In most cases, boys don’t have the option to use the opposite sex as a Band-Aid for their emotional needs. Boys are expected to be strong and tough…to display manhood. All too often, the bullied boy has been emasculated and he sees no way to reclaim his manhood.
In essence, he has been “feminized” by his bullies. Male targets are often called “sissy”, “pussy”, “bitch” and other names which attack the masculinity and cause them to feel less like men.
Also, it’s considered taboo for a boy to report being bullied. Oftentimes, young men who complain of being bullied are referred to by others as a “whiner” and told to “toughen up”, “suck it up” or “man up” because they’re going against what is perceived as “man-code”. This can also erode the male self-esteem.
Once a young man is stripped of his manhood, it’s next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. Although the suicide rate among females has skyrocketed, It remains to be much higher in males.
No matter what, we much encourage bullied males to speak out and report bullies who torment them. We must also encourage them to seek therapy. Males must also have older males in their lives who remind them of their worth as men and re-enforce it.
Females must be encouraged to speak out and get help as well. And they must also have older female roll models who instill in them that they are just as good, just as whole, and just as beautiful without a boyfriend and that it’s okay to be alone.