In movies and television, we see scenarios where targets stand up to bullies and automatically either get left alone or become friends with their former tormentors. However, in most cases, this is not reality. Remember that bullies are relentless.
Here are the tactics bullies use when a target stands up for themselves:
If you are a target, you must realize that bullies will not relinquish their power so easily. They will not be a good sport and hand your human rights back over to you, nor will they bow out of your life gracefully. Bullies have an insatiable need to wield power over another, and without that power, they feel lost.
Make no mistake about it. When you kick unsavory people out of your life, they will first resort to either gaslighting- adding their spin to make you look and feel like the villain and maligning you to others to destroy your good name and credibility. They may also lay guilt trips- trying to convince you that you are at fault or that the abuse is your imagination. Bullies are masters at this, especially female bullies who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.
They may recruit followers and start a campaign of hate and viciousness against you, by way of rumors, lies, and trying to turn your friends against you. It happened to me many times and it would come as retaliation for my having the gall to stand up to them and assert my God-given, divine right not to be abused or taken advantage of.
Females, although becoming more and more physically violent with time, commit much of their bullying by Dividing and Conquering- attacking the targets’ relationships, using smear campaigns and witch hunts designed to turn everyone against the target to isolate them. They also use projection- projecting all of their shortcomings onto the target. Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. What better way to keep their imperfections hidden than to either project them onto the target?
Bullies also use distraction- distracting others’ attention away from their shortcomings and evil deeds by pointing out the negative qualities of their victims.
Bullies use the above strategies not only to cover their backsides but also to close their victims off from any possible help or protection. Once the target is isolated, the bullies move in for the kill. Now, they can do with their victim whatever they choose to do, freely and with impunity because if everyone is against the victim, the least likely they are to report or stop the abuse. In the minds of others, the target deserves what is happening to them.
Bullies want to, in essence, hold the victim hostage, and they will resort to any means necessary to keep the target on emotional lockdown or to keep them “in their place.” They will do it with physical violence when exclusion, subtle digs, verbal assaults, gaslighting and other forms of psychological abuse no longer have an impact. Bullies will commit their violence either by committing the bodily harm themselves or sending someone else to do their savagery for them.
This does not mean that you should not stand up for yourself because you should. However, when you do, be prepared. The torment will get worse before it gets better. Be strong. Be brave and know that none of it is your fault.
The more you know.