If there’s one thing small towns are known for, it’s gossip. If you find yourself unfortunate enough to be a victim of bullies in a small town, gossip about your (perceived) transgressions has reached from city limits to city limits…at light speed. However, take it from someone who has been there. Bullies get talked about too, only people never talk openly about them. Because the talkers fear becoming the bullies’ next targets, the talk is always in secret.
Believe me, you aren’t the only one being victimized. There are others. But because the others more than likely won’t admit to being bullied and because bullies will never tell you if there are others, you never hear about it and therefore, mistakenly think that you are the only one they pick on.
If you are a victim of bullies, it would be in your best interest to find out who your bullies’ enemies are and align yourself with them. It’s what I did and boy, did I find out some really juicy tidbits about their lives…most of which is rather embarrassing information!
I didn’t have to ask. I would only sit or stand quietly, observe and listen! Bullies may think they’re stars, but scratch the surface and you’ll discover that they don’t shine so brightly after all.
One of my bullies is now a nurse and I am good friends with several nurses whom have had the displeasure of working with her. In their words, “she is as incompetent as they come.”. Also, she has a big family secret and if you’ve lived in the same town that she lives in long enough, you know what that secret is. I’ll stop here to protect privacy. This same woman has for years bounced from one job to another, either getting fired or quitting when things didn’t go her way. She has also been through five, maybe six marriages.
Another bully dropped out of high school and ended up working as a waitress. She now owns her own restaurant but barely breaks even. Several others are incarcerated or have been, with one being convicted of murder and another convicted of armed robbery, running guns and possession of illegal substances.
The bullies I battled in school are only ordinary people, yet most of them, even today, continue trying like mad to keep up with the Jones’s, making everyone think they have beaten the rat race, and failing miserably. Most have never left the small town and still put on the facade of power and a perfect life. It’s hilarious when you really think about it.
Here’s some advice:
1. Befriend your bullies’ enemies. Befriend the other outcasts in your school, workplace or community. Because I guarantee you that you aren’t the only one they’ve steamrolled. Bullies leave a lot of shattered lives in their wake and make lots of enemies. And strength always comes in numbers.
2. Listen out! You will hear a lot of stories about your bullies from other outcasts and other people who cannot stand them. You will be surprised at what you find out. It may be that your bullies get laughed at too. People are only careful who they do it around and are quieter about it. They must be or the bullies will target them too.
Bullies aren’t as important or invincible as they put on. It’s only an act! People such as these must work hard to maintain the facades they put on and the reason they give victims a difficult time is because victims don’t have to work that hard. They simply choose to be themselves. How do I know this? Because I ingratiated myself into the good graces of the enemies of my bullies and would get an earful every time we got together.
Any information you get about your bullies is valuable to you. Always! Because it can then be used as leverage should the bullies come for you.
Make no mistake. Bullies have enemies…LOTS of them! However, they will never in a million years tell you about it. They don’t want you to believe that others disrespect them behind their backs because it would shatter the image of invincibility they’ve set for themselves. Instead, they want you to believe that everyone loves them and thinks they are the best things since the invention of the wheel. And they want you to believe it because they want you to feel bad about yourself.
Put another way, if bullies can make you think that everyone loves them, then you’re more likely to believe the lie they drum into your head every day. That you’re just plain garbage. Because a bully’s popularity and greatness (perceived or not) only serves to re-enforce any dislike the target has for themselves after they’ve been bullied for so long.
Please don’t let this happen to you. Befriend your bullies’ enemies. Open your eyes not only to your great value and worth, but also to the facades your bullies hide behind and the acts they put on. I guarantee that your self-esteem will skyrocket.