People Will Talk No Matter What

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Persuasion concept. Man and woman whispering in girls ear. Copy space on yellow background.

But remember. It’s nothing personal!

And it’s a fact of life we need to accept. And the sooner you do, the better off you’ll be. are going to talk about you until the day you die. And it’s something that we all not only need to accept but be okay with if we’re ever going to grow as human beings.

And here’s another fun fact:
Everyone gets talked about, everyone! Even the best of us!

If wealthy celebrities and politicians get bashed and put down, you’re only fooling yourself if you think that you don’t or shouldn’t. But why should you care? Why should you give a crap what people say or think of you?

During high school, everyone bullied me terribly and talked about me like a dog. It used to upset me. It used to make me angry or sad. I won’t lie, having people say horrible things about me, tell lies, and put me down? It hurt.

As an adult, I even worked around people talked trash about me. But I realized that most of them didn’t matter anyway.

They didn’t pay my bills.

They didn’t sign my paycheck every week.

They weren’t anyone I cared anything about.

You really are worth it

I sometimes look back and ask myself, “Damn! Why did I ever concern myself with it? Those morons weren’t even on my level and weren’t worth two cents.”

The point I’m making is that most people are a dime a dozen. They really are! And nine times out of ten, the reason they’re so busy squawking about others is that they’re bored with their own lives and have nothing better to do.

And the sooner you realize it, the sooner you’ll stop caring and the happier you’ll be. When you stop being so concerned, you’ll no longer be a slave to the approval of others, and you’ll set yourself free of any anxiety.

The only opinions you should place that kind of importance on are those of your God, your family, and your closest friends.

Anyone outside of that isn’t even an issue. the opinions of God, my family and my closest friends are the only ones that matter. The rest are just a waste of energy and mind-space.

Ways to Reach Your Full Potential

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One of the greatest victories against bullies is reaching your full potential. Here are ways you can do it!

1. Don’t worry about what other people think. In life, there will be those who will try to tear you down, especially if they know you’re striving to reach a goal. But you don’t mind because they don’t matter. Don’t let them discourage you. No matter what they say, keep shooting for the stars. And don’t stop until you reach your dreams.

2. Weed out all the Negative Nancies and Debbie Downers. Yes! Get rid of all the gossips, whiners, complainers, bullies, and all the people who make you feel bad and suck the oxygen out of you. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people- people who help you, not those who hinder you.

Don't worry

3. Never be afraid to be alone. Trust me; you’d rather be by yourself than keep company with people who are negative and drain the lifeblood out of you. Negative people are exhausting, and you will need all your energy stores to reach your highest potential. And if you have a partner who doesn’t treat you right nor appreciates the value you bring to a relationship, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the partnership, get clear on the kind of partner you want in your life and give this person their walking papers.

4. Don’t quit. Don’t give up when it seems like progress isn’t happening fast enough or when the going gets rough. Keep plugging at it! Because somethings, things are their toughest just before you finally get your breakthrough.

5. Believe in yourself. To succeed at anything, you must believe in yourself. If you don’t, no one else will, and you won’t accomplish anything. Without faith in yourself and your abilities, you won’t have the morale to keep working toward your dreams. If you need to rest, then do so. But whatever you do, don’t quit!

Know Your Worth — Life of Shadz

So many people need to read this beautiful post about knowing your worth! Not enough people know theirs. And it’s sad.

In many aspects of our everyday life, we do not give ourselves enough credit for who we are; a lot of us do not know our worth or sometimes fail to recognise it. If we treat ourselves as if we are worth less than we are, we leave room for self-doubt and a lack of […]

via Know Your Worth — Life of Shadz

The Northwich Warrior’s Award

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I would like to send a heartfelt thank you to the Storyteller for nominating me for this awesome award! I’m both honored and humbled! This really means a lot.

(Oh, Lord, I hope I’m doing this correctly!)

Quote from the Storyteller:

“Cherie White is committed to speaking out against abuse and bullying. Her website is full of advice about handling troublesome events.

You Stand Tall among the Warriors, Cherie.”

img src=”https://cheriewhite.blog/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/logopit_15823314781954086614125291976049.png” alt=”logopit_15823314781954086614125291976049″ width=”1080″ height=”1080″ class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-8868″/>

When I Meet A New Person, I Automatically Wonder…

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I wonder if they’re the right person to bring into my life.

I wonder if we’ll have anything in common or if we’ll share any of the same hobbies.

I wonder what their attitude is and how their parents raised them.

I wonder about their mental health and outlook on life.

Are they an optimist or pessimist?

Are they ambitious?

Are they loving and caring?

Do they know who they are?

Do they know what they want and where they’re going?

Do they have their priorities in order?

Are they petty gossips, or are they the kind who don’t have time for such nonsense?

Do they love or loathe themselves?

Are their families decent, respectable, and upstanding people?

Do they have frequent run-ins with the law?

Do they have an alcohol or drug problem?

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Beautiful brunette model with a halo behind her. Fashion and glamour style

Oh yes! I take all of it into consideration when I meet someone. This is not to say that I judge them because I judge no one. However, I am particular of who I keep company with for reasons of safety and self-preservation.

For example, if you met someone, then found out later that they did time for rape, robbery, or murder, wouldn’t you be cautious of that person? Would you want them around you or your loved ones?

However, when I was young, I wondered if they were going to like me. I didn’t realize how unhealthy that is.

Understand that anytime you worry needlessly, whether others like you, you’re more likely to be so desperate for approval that you’ll take people at face value. And that’s not good because you’ll end up inviting the wrong kinds of people into your life!

I want you to realize that there’s a difference in judging people and being selective of the company you keep.

So, don’t be so quick to invite into your world everyone you meet.
Don’t judge, but do be selective!

Toxic Teachers Need to Go — Indy K12

Great post from Indy K12 about toxic teachers and toxic workplaces!

There is not enough self-care in the world that can shield a person from a toxic work environment. I had a few jobs before I became a K-12 educator. I worked in my dorm’s cafeteria, at Villa Pizza in the student union at Purdue, and at a church daycare. The work environment was nice. People…

via Toxic Teachers Need to Go — Indy K12

MYSTERY BLOGGER AWARD

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I want to thank Mr. James Best, at James A. Best- Auther for nominating me for the Mystery Blogger Award the other day. I am humbled and honored for this award. This fellow blogger has an excellent blog full of short stories and real-life experiences that will capture your attention. Please check out his blog, then like and follow him. I promise! You’ll enjoy his blog.

The Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award also is for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion. – Creator- Okoto Enigma

The Mystery Blogger Award Rules :

1. Put the award logo on your blog.

2.Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog.
James A. Best- Author

3.mention the creator of the award and write his words out.

4. Answer the five questions you were asked.

5.Tell the readers three things about yourself.

6.Nominate 10 to 20 Bloggers for this award.

7. Notify your Nominees by commenting on any of their blog posts.

8.Ask your nominees five questions with one weird or funny one.

9. Share a link back to your best posts.

Mr. Best’s Questions for Me :

1. What is your favorite pastime? Writing and workomg on my future books and my blog. I also like lounging around in my PJs and watching old reruns from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s.

2. What is your favorite book to read ? Why ? “The Laws of Human Nature” by Robert Greene. Because I’m so fascinated by Human Nature and what motivates people to do what they do.

3. Who do you think will outsmart the other the Road Runner or Daffy Duck ? Road Runner- hands down!

4. What would you be doing on a rainy day ? Writing on my books and blogs or taking a nice catnap.

5. What is your favorite type of music to listen to? I have three favorite genres- Hair Metal, Dance (Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul, etc.), and 90’s Techno/Eurodance (Culture Beat, LaBouche, Snap, Captain Hollywood Project, etc.)!

The Three Things About Myself :

1. I also love to sing and have sung with many bands in the past.

2. I’m a diehard fan of PRINCE.

3. I enjoy reading, writing stories, working on my blog and going for long walks in the park.

My Nominees Are :

1. Rethinking Scripture

2. Abigail Johnston – No Half Measures

3. Brothers’ Campfire- Gather ‘round and hear a tale…

4. Drew- Stop Workplace Bullies…Now!

5. The Rambles of a Dreamer

6. Meena Walia- Meena’s Blog (Soulful Thoughts)

7. G.W.- His eye is on the sparrow

8. Don’t Lose Hope

9. Stuart- Perditus

10. JoAnn- Midnight Harmony

My 5 Questions for my Nominees :

1.What is your favorite past time ?

2. What is your favorite book to read ? Why ?

3. Who do you think will out smart the other the Road Runner or Daffy Duck ?

4. What would you be doing on a rainy day ?

5. What is your favorite type of music to listen to ?

I am looking forward to reading your Mystery Blogger Award Blog’s.

Mystery Blogger Award # 1 — James A. Best- Author

I want to thank Mr. Holliman ; A Happy Life for for nominating me for the Mystery Blogger Award. I am humbled and honored for this award. This fellow blogger has an amazing blog full of both spiritual food and food recipes to eat and nourish our bodies and souls. Please come check out his […]

via Mystery Blogger Award # 1 — James A. Best- Author

When Bullied People Bully People

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Bullying hurts. It’s not the physical beatings in the locker room. It isn’t the trippings in the hallways nor having your books knocked out of your arms. Neither is it the name-calling nor the threats. It’s not the rumors, the lies, and smear campaigns, nor is it the setups to get you into trouble, the jokes or pranks.

It’s the cumulative sum of all factors:

It leaves the target feeling that he’s lost all control over his life and that he no longer has a say in what happens to him- it’s the feeling of having power over nothing!

Is it any wonder that in an attempt to snatch back control over something, anything, many targets soon begin to bully those who are even more vulnerable than them?
Through their own victimization, targets learn that to keep from feeling so powerless, they must bully too. In bullying them, bullies unwittingly teach their targets how to bully.

We call these people bully-victims– people who are both bullies and are targets of other bullies. They bully to feel better about themselves and to ascend a few rungs up the social ladder.

Nobody wants to be on the bottom. Everybody wants to be better than somebody. It’s a sad part of human nature.

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sad young boy sitting on the floor with text stop bullying written with chalk on chalkboard. social problems of humanity

Just as people are fighting like crazy to stay on top, others struggle to keep off the bottom. As it is quoted, “Sh¬** rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.”
Person A at the top bullies Person B, who is second from the top.
Person B then bullies Person C, and so on.

And down the pecking order, the nastiness rolls until it lands on Person Z at the bottom. Then, everyone bullies Person Z because Person Z is defenseless! There’s no one for Person Z to bully because he’s the one with the least power of all the others.

Anyone on the bottom is going to catch hell because they’re powerless. And that person will likely be kept on the bottom because no one wants that position. Therefore, everyone keeps Z down to ensure that none of them ever take Z’s place.
That’s how it works, folks!

As long as someone else is on the bottom, it keeps you and everyone else safe from being there. It’s why bully-victims get bullied by pure bullies, then go on to select their own victims to degrade and humiliate.

However, must of the time, this doesn’t turn out good. Because sometimes, bully-victims become worse off then pure bullies or pure victims.

Pure bullies are people who don’t get bullied by other people.

arrogant young woman with rapper attitude

independent 20s girl with threatening body language

Bully-victims are both bullies and victims of bullying by other bullies. And they bully far more than the pure bullies do because they have more to prove.

Bully victims are far more hated and ostracized than pure bullies or pure victims. They’re lonelier and have few friends or none at all.

Bully-victims often resort to trickery and deceit. Many are pathological liars, cheats, fakes and sneaks. They believe that humans are the lowest forms of life on earth. Bully-victims tend to be Machs.

Understand that bully-victims need help. They need someone to get it through their heads that just because people are bullying them doesn’t make it okay to turn around and bully someone else.

But tell them lovingly and with patience because they’re badly hurting inside themselves and need someone to listen to them and gently guide them in the right direction.

Can Bullies Get Intel from the Very Information which is Supposed to Help Victims?

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There are many positives to bullying and suicide awareness, one of which is the ever so slow change in attitudes en masse about bullying, bullies and victims over the last twenty years. More and more people are coming to the realization that bullying is not “just a normal rite of passage” or “just a part of growing up” like previously thought a few decades ago. People are finally seeing it for the huge health hazard and the threat to human life that it truly is and perhaps, always has been.

Unlike thirty years ago when I was in school, there is a vast wealth of knowledge, resources, and programs readily available to anyone who finds themselves on the receiving end of such harassment. We now have a treasure trove of articles, books, and videos on what victims can do to bully-proof themselves. Today, we know that victims of bullying are not weak, too sensitive or to blame for the treatment they receive like previously thought decades ago.

Woman looking through plant with binoculars

Woman looking through plant with binoculars

We have made great progress for victims of bullying and I cannot thank enough all those who contributed to this progress. However, I want to stress something that I’m positive very few have considered:

Bullies also have access to this widely available information!

Although the data available is meant to help and empower victims, bullies can use this data as counterintelligence and turn it against their targets. And they can do it by using the information to tailor any future attacks.

For instance, since bullying has been shown to cause suicide, there has been a drastic uptick in cases where bullies have told their victims to “kill themselves”. A few have even talked them into it.

Remember that the most talented and seasoned bullies are cowards at heart and always commit their evil undercover and with subtlety. Bullies are smart, stealth, meticulous, and worst of all- patient! They will not risk being caught.

Anytime a victim attempts to assert their right not to be mistreated and to better their lives, bullies only escalate the harassment to punish the target and keep him/her silent and, in essence, enslaved.

I want you to understand that any power the victim regains for him/herself is power the bullies must lose! And when bullies see a threat to the power they have over a target, they will only tighten their grip and escalate the torment.

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Bullying is a slow death by psychological, emotional, and physical torture. It is systematic, subtle and sadly, escalation of it is sometimes so gradual that it often goes unnoticed by bystanders and authority until the victim dies by their own hand.

When a target of bullying commits suicide, the bullies have committed murder without laying a finger on the target. And because there’s no physical contact or weapon discharged by the bully or bullies at the time of the target’s death, the bully gets away with this murder.

Bullies murder their victims by gently and over time, persuading and influencing them to do it for them. Now, this is how they get away with murder! What better way is there to kill someone without ever touching them, without firing a single shot, and without fear of ever seeing the inside of a prison?

Bullies know this instinctively! I say this with full conviction and being fully aware that I might be giving a few evil and unsavory souls a few ideas! Of this, I am truly afraid!

The best I can do is to hope and pray to the goodness that no one with evil intentions comes across this blog post!

In closing, if you are a target of chronic and relentless bullying, I urge you to never give up on yourself. Never let a bully convince you that the world would be better off without you! It wouldn’t!

Never let a bully convince you that you would be better off dead because chances are that they only target you because you are doing something right! They bully you because you stand out! You somehow outshine the bullies and they only mistreat you out of jealousy!

Know that you’re worth living for!

Believe it!