What Happens When You’re “Too Nice?”

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Too much sugar is never good because it doesn’t only eat away at your teeth, it eats away at your self-esteem and your life. In a world with so many evil people, it isn’t wise to be a pushover because too nice equals no backbone and no boundaries.

And there will be many people who’ll take your kindness for being a fool. And don’t think they won’t take advantage of you.

Here are signs that you’re too danged nice:

1. You tolerate crappy behavior from people. And because of it, others think you’re pathetic.

2. You over apologize. You apologize for things that aren’t your fault and that you have nothing to do with. Keep this up and others will find it too easy to lay guilt trips on you whenever it is that you can’t give them what they want. They will blame you for the tiniest of things because they know that you’ll bow down and take the blame.

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3. You end up a slave to the whims of others. You bend over backward to take care of everyone else and often, they don’t appreciate it. They only demand more of you. You always feel tired and exhausted because you’re so busy pleasing others that you don’t have time to take care of yourself.

4. You say yes when you really want to say no. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or piss anyone off, so against your better judgment, you say yes rather than no. You may be dog tired and want to go to bed, then someone shows up at your door at eleven o’clock at night with a problem! You agree to help them with or solve their problem when you should tell them to take a walk and never to darken your doorstep at such a ridiculous hour! You’ll also rescue people from bad situations that are self-inflicted. You’re an enabler.

5. You take on others’ moods. Instead of refusing to let some Negative Nancy get you down, you let their funky moods rub off on you. Not good!

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Understand that the reason some people are too nice is that they feel they’re not enough. They feel they have no right to say no to anything- that they don’t deserve to take care of themselves. And it’s because they’re terrified of conflict.

They want to be approved of, liked and loved and feel that the only way to do it is to bust ass for others. Sadly, the opposite usually results because people lose respect for you! No one respects a pushover!

Unfortunately, most don’t realize all of this until they reach your limit and get fed up! But you don’t have to waste years of your life being a doormat if you follow the guidelines below:

1. Never put up with shabby treatment. Life’s too short for that. You must stand up for yourself when someone violates a boundary, whether it be physical or psychological. Realize you deserve to be treated well and you deserve it just as much as the next person. Always speak up for yourself.

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2. Stop apologizing so much. Realize that some things don’t warrant an apology. And standing up for yourself and saying no are only two of those things.

3. It’s okay to put yourself first. Take care of yourself first. Only then will you have enough energy to take care of others.

4. Again. Say no if you don’t want to or don’t feel like fulfilling a request. Don’t be afraid to say no if you don’t want to do something or don’t feel like doing it.

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5. As difficult as it might be, don’t let the moods of others around you affect your mood. If you have a Debbie Downer who is always negative, there’s nothing wrong with calling them out on it or staying away from them. Whatever you do, don’t try to rescue them or argue with them. It won’t work.

Sometimes, taking care of yourself means facing conflict because some people will be selfish and demanding. They won’t be able to see past their own needs and desires.

Never be afraid to stand up for your rights. It’s okay to take care of others. But don’t forget to take a little back for yourself. Only then will people respect you and recognize that you also have feelings and rights.

2 thoughts on “What Happens When You’re “Too Nice?”

    • Absolutely. I believe the people who are too nice have been conditioned to be so by abusive family members or peers. Once you live in fear for so long as a child, it’s hard to get out of that frame of mind as an adult. It can be done. But it takes a lot of hard mental work.

      Thank you so much for your kind words! <3

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