Why We Must Forgive — Fuel for my soul

A beautiful article about forgiveness from “Fuel For My Soul” blog.

Original Link : https://byrslf.co/why-we-must-forgive-853be66b12a When I was in high school, I found out a close friend of mine was talking negatively about me behind my back. It hurt so much because we were both leaders of an extracurricular organization, and I put so much trust in him. When I confronted him about it, he feigned […]

via Why We Must Forgive — Fuel for my soul

Opportunity To Forgive — Inner Energies

A beautiful post about forgiveness by the “Inner Miracles” blog.

What does Forgiveness mean to you? Well for me I think forgiveness is understanding the other persons perspective and having some empathy for what they are going through and understanding that they may not have realised what an impact they were having you on. But I have never been the sort of person who subscribes […]

via Opportunity To Forgive — Inner Energies

If You Listen to Lies — Amie Anne

This post from “Amie Anne” nearly brought me to tears. Here’s a story of a lady who was bullied as a young girl and how she overcome later. I love reading about people who’ve been through the worst of circumstances and then won in the end!

Many targets of bullying do overcome and became loved and cared for people later! Please don’t give up!

I was teased by almost everyone I knew in real life. I was teased by people I should have expected to be loved and accepted by. I was twitted for my clothes, my speech, my height, my interests. I was told I was a loser, I even had a large, huge L painted on my […]

via If You Listen to Lies — Amie Anne

What is a Crybully?

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A new term has emerged in the last few months to describe the pathetic type of person who doesn’t mind dishing out the crap but can’t handle it when it gets kicked back their way. Everyone has heard of the crybaby. But! We also have the crybully.

So, what is a crybully?

A crybully is a bully who’s also a crybaby, who runs to authority and “cries like a little bitch” whenever targets stand up to them.

The crybully repeatedly provokes a target for an extended period of time. The target first tries to ignore her to avoid conflict and keep down the drama. Of course, this only serves to encourage the crybully to continue and escalate the behavior because she comes to believe that the target is a wimp who won’t do anything about it and that she can continue to bully and get away with it.

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Then, when the target finally gets fed up and responds in kind, the crybully suddenly gets their wittle feewings hurt and feels indignant. To get back at the target for daring to stand up to her, the crybully runs to a teacher, principal, supervisor or manager.

She tattles on the target like the schoolyard sissy she is, feigning victimhood and painting the target as the bully. The target then gets the blame and is disciplined.

The crybully then basks in the attention as others give her a pat on the head and lavish her with sympathy. All the while, the crybully is also gratified by the blame the target is getting and feeling a huge sense of power.

Crybullies will also disparage the target to peers in efforts to smear her and trash her reputation. Understand that crybullies are everywhere and they’re vindictive!

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But understand that this kind of behavior only speaks volumes of these types of bullies. It says that they’re not only cowards but entitled little brats who think they should be allowed to treat others any way they want without repercussions. And it is these people who are truly pathetic.

And you should be proud of yourself and feel good in knowing that you don’t have to resort to these shenanigans. And in situations such as these, these types of bullies should be the subject of your ridicule.

Because ridicule and shame will be the only way to make these bullies leave you alone.

Bullies Have Secrets: Things My Bullies Never Thought I Knew

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Bullies keep so many secrets. They have to, to maintain the facade they hide behind. Bullies must continue to wear a veil of perfection, toughness, and coolness, and they take extreme pains to keep that veil from falling off.

But if you watch and listen, your bullies secrets will eventually seep through by either dumb mistakes they make, or through the gossip of others.

1. One or both of their parents were drug dealers. A few classmates came from homes that people bought drugs out of. Because of this, these bullies were either ashamed of what they were living in or felt ignored.

2. They were on welfare. Many of my bullies came from families that had a tradition of living on welfare and in many cases, it went back a few generations. These bullies were deliberately having babies because they wanted to draw a welfare check. Others were ashamed of it and took extreme measures to hide it from the rest of the student body.

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3. Their parents fought all the time. Other classmates dealt with such drama at home. Therefore, they would start altercations at school too. You are what you live.

4. They were being abused/neglected by parents. Several classmates were getting their butts kicked at home. So, they’d come to school to bully and physically attack me and a few others to overcompensate and feel some sense of power. If they had no control over their own lives, they would come to school and assert control over someone else’s.

5. Their mothers had a different man over every night. So many of the female bullies would come to school and call other girls whores, sluts, and skanks. But these were names they really wanted to call their own mothers because the men in their mothers’ lives usually came before the needs of their daughters.

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6. They had a parent who was an alcoholic/drug addict. Many of my classmates were angry and bitter because they had parents who stayed drunk and loaded. The drugs and booze would usually come before the child and would force the family into poverty. Some of the parents were “mean drunks” and lashed out at their children.

7. They had a parent who was supposedly a criminal. One of my female bullies had a parent who was rumored to be a murderer. Although the suspected parent was a big wheel in the town and was never convicted, there was plenty of talk about it around town and everyone knew about it.

8. They were dirt poor. Many of my bullies lived in trailer parks, shacks, and the projects. Some didn’t have indoor plumbing and used outhouses for a bathroom- even in the winter. Because they were ashamed, they’d come to school and shame others to feel better about themselves.

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9. A parent had abandoned them. Again, may of my bullies were full of anger and bitterness. When they got to school, they’d take it out on their vulnerable targets. It gave them a sense of power. Many of these bullies were also jealous of targets who had more than they did and would bully them as punishment for being from families who were financially better off.

10. They were victims of sexual abuse by a family member or their mother’s boyfriends. These girls felt utterly powerless. So, to not feel so helpless, they’d jockey for power at school by asserting dominance over their targets.

11. They’d had multiple abortions. Many of my female classmates, especially those who were popular, slept around and many become pregnant- two or three times during school. Their parents were public figures with images to protect. Therefore, these parents would finance their daughter’s abortions to hide the shame they feared would befall their perfect little families. One girl had an abortion in the sixth grade.

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12. They’d go slumming. Many of the bullies in the preppy crowd would go to the projects and slept with some of the women who lived there. When the parents of two of them found out about it, they sent them to a group home for the rest of the school year (ninth or tenth grade).

13. One of the teachers who bullied me was sleeping around – even having sordid affairs with some of the boys on the varsity football team. And it was common knowledge around town.

But because this teacher had connections in town and her father was a businessman, she kept her job and everything was hush-hush around certain people who were allies of hers.

However, when people were at a safe distance and out of earshot of anyone who might have gone back and informed her of who the talkers were, they would trumpet the juicy info loud and proud.

This is in no way intended to pass judgement on anyone. We all have our hangups. The point is, bullies have dirty little secrets that they don’t want to get out. Always! Why do you think they target others with their vitriol? It’s all designed to keep the negative spotlight off them and place it onto the target.

It’s a way to keep their own skeletons from seeing the light of day. Because if everyone is too busy looking at and judging the victim, they won’t pay any attention to the bullies’ sins, snafus, and faux pas.

What bullying does to brilliance — Successfully Mad

A touching blog from “Successfully Mad”

There’s this teenager I know. She’s brilliant, way mature for her age. She reads books I read and discusses them with a level of intellect and understanding that never fails to amaze. Let’s call her Emily. Then, I received the news yesterday … Due to suicide speak, cutting, and bulimia, Emily has been placed in […]

via What bullying does to brilliance — Successfully Mad

Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out

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1. Being a bully is WORK! They work hard to keep up appearances and to maintain their fake facades. Bullies, especially popular ones, have an image to keep up, and they monitor themselves nonstop, twenty-four-seven. They must keep up with and remember all the lies they tell to keep their stories straight. And they often spend beyond their means to look like they have lots of money. Is it any wonder that many bullies get charged with crimes like embezzlement, fraud, and theft. They have to steal to keep up!

2. Bullies are not happy people. They can’t be. Why do you think they bully others? They do it to feel better about themselves, to distract from their shortcomings and insecurities, and project them onto someone else. Bullies also bully to make themselves look superior, better, smarter, and more powerful. They may bully for attention because they aren’t getting it at home. It takes a miserable person to be a bully.

3. They’re weak. Bullies bully because they’re feeble-minded people. They’re loud, obnoxious, and pushy because they don’t have the brains to get what they want any other way.

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4. Bullies are insecure. When a bully sees someone who outshines them somehow, they fear that the person will take the attention and admiration away from them. Bullies share attention and recognition with no one. They must be adored at all times by everyone. They feel they have to be at the center of everything and that the world should revolve around them.

5. Bullies are jealous of their victims. Bullies can’t handle anyone else’s success. If you have more wins then them, are better looking then them or are more talented than them, they’ll make it their mission to make you suffer for it.

6. Bullies are trying to be cool. Again, they strain themselves to keep up appearances. And bullies know that most people are under the mistaken impression that cruelty is “cool” as long as they aren’t on the receiving end of it. Many bullies bully to look cute to any witnesses.

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7. They seek attention. If a bully doesn’t get attention, they feel inadequate. So they bully in front of an audience to get the attention they feel they never get.

8. They’re cowards. They’re afraid of looking weak and being bullied themselves.

9. They’re fakes, frauds, and imposters. They must don masks to hide their true selves. Understand that they do this out of the fear of their true personalities being exposed.

10. They’re compensating. Bullies bully to compensate for weakness. If they can look strong by making someone else look weak they make up for the weaknesses they feel they have. Bullies will also run with rich people or the popular crowd because it helps them to forget about the fact that they’re nothing and, in a way, makes up for anything they feel they don’t have.

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Male bullies who feel they aren’t man enough will often drive around in hot cars and flaunt money to make up for the fact that girls find them disgusting. Female bullies will often use fashion, makeup, and the latest hairstyles to compensate for the fact that few people like them. Or they may have a bunch of friends and use that to make up for the fact that they can’t get a date.

just for looks — this great ape

In this blog post, C.M. Condo describes in detail what life is like for anyone who’s on the spectrum and high-functioning. And it’s truly heart-wrenching. A must-read for anyone who knows anyone on the Autism Spectrum!

I have been undergoing the arduous and humiliating process of applying for disability here in the U.S. for my autism. If you thought that in this day and age, there would be an established mechanism for this type of disability, well, surprise, not so much. You can apply and submit online; however, that is where […]

via just for looks — this great ape

Autism and bullying in schools — Matthew Boux- Advocate, Speaker, and Blogger

Bullying of Thise on the Autism spectrum. It isnt addressed nearly enough! This is from Matthew at the “Matthew Boux” blog! And it’s hits to the heart!

Bullying is an extremely common problem for people with autism. We are significantly more likely to be bullied than people in the general population. One of the most common places bullying occurs is in schools. I have read so many horror stories on Facebook of autistic kids being bullied at school. It truly is absolutely […]

via Autism and bullying in schools — Matthew Boux- Advocate, Speaker, and Blogger

Neediness is BAD!

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Neediness is not a good look on anyone. It’s unattractive and off-putting. To be blunt, it’s downright gross! It’s the equivalent of a bad smell one must hold their nose and run away from to keep from getting sick.

When a target is bullied, they often become needy. Because they’re shunned and rejected for so long, they become ravenously hungry for any morsel of approval and will lap up anything that even looks like it. But they often see acceptance when it’s really only tolerance.

Anytime a target becomes needy, some people might include them in their groups, but not because they like them or want to be around them. They’ll only pretend to like the target because they feel sorry for him. And the last thing the target should want is someone’s pity. Yuck!

Who in their right mind would want to settle for that?

But wait! It gets worse!

Closeup portrait unhappy woman giving loser sign on forehead, looking at you with anger and hatred on face isolated on gray background.

Closeup portrait unhappy woman giving loser sign on forehead, looking at you with anger and hatred on face isolated on gray background.

After a while, the pity that his (the target’s) so-called friends have for him may wear thin.

Here are a few reasons why neediness is not only unattractive and humiliating but downright dangerous:

1. Any time you’re a target of bullying by everyone- the group of so-called friends who pretend to like you put themselves at risk of being made targets themselves. And they know it. In the minds of the bullies and others, they’re guilty by association. Instead of being an asset to the group, you become a liability!

2. The group is having to pretend to like having you around because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. But their real feelings about you will only seep out in ways that are not so obvious. It’ll be so subtle that you may not even know it’s happening. And you can bet that if you make the slightest mistake or they perceive the tiniest slight from you, the floodgates will open and their real feelings of dislike and hatred will come rushing out like a raging torrent. And they’ll look for any reason to make you go away even if they must treat you with blatant brutality.

3. Your so-called friends will never have your back. They’ll disappear at the first sign of trouble. When your bullies come calling, your fake friends will throw you under the bus, then get behind the wheel and run you over a few times. Understand that these people will not value you as a person.

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4. You’ll only draw people who are predators. Users and abusers are drawn to the needy like vultures to a carcass. They seek out people who are desperate to exploit their needs and weaknesses to get what they want from them. And once they’ve gotten all they want out of the person, they discard them like a dirty piece of toilet paper. You make not realize it, but you can do better than a bunch of scavengers!

Wouldn’t you rather be alone than to have friends like those? I wound hope you would.

Real courage and real self-worth sometimes require that you be alone for a while. But let me assure you that it won’t always be this way. Be patient and eventually, the right people will find you. It may not happen quickly, but it will happen. I guarantee it.

It happened for me and it will happen for you too!

Dandelions Are Beautiful but Not Real Flowers

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Some people claim to be with you, but you never hear a peep from them until you trigger them somehow. Then suddenly, the floodgates fly open and everything rushes forth like a raging torrent. Be glad because this is how you know they were never for you to begin with. Now you can weed them out before they do even further damage.