Why You Should Address Bullying in the Earliest Stages

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My grandmother once told me this: “Never. And I mean never let anyone get comfortable with abusing and mistreating you.”

She was right. By the time she gave me that little gold nugget of wisdom, it was already too late. I was in high school and had been a victim of bullying since moving to *Oakley School District in the sixth grade. But right then, I understood what my very wise grandmother meant and why she gave me that advice.

Here’s what Uma (what I called my maternal grandmother) had already known by being a people-watcher and very good at people-reading:

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Once the mistreatment of a person has gone on for so long, the people around them get comfortable with mistreating that person. They grow so accustomed to being cruel to the person that they don’t even think about, nor do they care about how they hurt that person. Even worst, they come to expect the target the take the abuse without question, without talking back or talking about it, and without defending themselves.

Put another way, if a target firmly stands up to bad treatment in the early stages of being targeted, it’s more likely that others will respect his right to be treated well and either leave him alone or began treating him better.

Kiss my ass. Stamp for documents. Official Boss Answer template

Whereas, if the target lets the bullying go on for a long time, then begins to stand up for himself after getting fed up with being everyone’s doormat, others will more than likely be only angry and resentful of the person for daring to open his mouth about it. They will then double down in their abuse or either eliminate him somehow.

Once a person gets comfortable in mistreating you, it’s much more difficult to fight. Therefore, always speak out right when the bullying begins. Never let it go on for any length of time. The sooner you do, the easier it will be to assert your rights and avoid retaliation.

10 thoughts on “Why You Should Address Bullying in the Earliest Stages

    • That’s usually how it goes. Same with me, I didn’t know what to do. And there were so many of them against only one of me that I was afraid to stand up and say what I wanted to say to them.

      Today is different. Now that I’m older, I’d stand up to every one of them today. They’d probably jump me but I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

    • Thank you so much for your thoughts! This means a lot.

      And please accept my sincerest apologies for not seeing this comment much sooner. WP has been sending a lot of legitimate comments to my spam folder lately and I didn’t think to check it. I’m truly sorry.

  1. Same with domestic violence. Know the red flags. The behaviourisms are very much the same, starts out small, then explodes to the point where it’s impossible to escape.

    • Right again! Bullying is just like domestic violence! And domestic violence is a form of bullying. Maybe female targets of bullying end up in abusive relationships as do some female bullies.

  2. The first photograph brought back memories of a female project manager who often sat in meetings with her feet up on the conference table wearing boots and a mini skirt. Nobody wore mini skirts to work. The Program Direct a woman never corrected her nor did anyone else. She was a very offensive woman. I put it down to her having dirt on people so she got away with whatever.

    Domestic violence you have to get out before it escalates I did this. Even though getting him out of the home the battle did not stop there it continued into the courts it was a hard slog. Stand your ground and insist on your right and your truth.

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