Why? Because liking of any person or thing is always subjective and no two people have the exact likes, dislikes, tastes, or opinions. Know that there will always be those whom do not like you and be okay with it because it bears no reflection on you. We all move in different circles and directions.
It’s just how life works and how we were made.
Continue to love and embrace yourself as the person God created you to be. Continue to enjoy the friends and loved ones you do have and never mind the people you don’t have. They aren’t important.
Embrace your differences because no two people are the same. Accept every flaw and quirk you have. Accept no one’s ignorant, cookie-cutter version of what you should be. You are enough!
Imagine how utterly and downright boring life would be if we were all the same. Imagine a world full of white people, black people or Hispanics- a world full of people with blonde hair and blue eyes or dark hair and dark eyes- a world full of skinny people…or overweight people- or if everyone had the same tastes opinions or beliefs!
It would be like living in a town in which all diners were pizza parlors and served pizza but nothing else. Yuck! I love pizza, but I wouldn’t want to eat it every damn day!
So love being different. Know that there are people who love you and are begging to spend time with you. And above all else, know that God loves you. You will be alright.
Bullies may not have anything on you. Therefore, they must search. Oh, yes! Bullies have to search for dirt. They must look hard for something to get angry at you about. Bullies are on a constant hunt for things that are possibly wrong with you and believe me. They’re like hounds sniffing a trail.
Bullies will search- and search- and search! They will hunt for anything, no matter how trivial and no matter how minute or tiny the flaw. Then when they find it, they will blow it up- make a big deal of it.
So, understand that bullies are always on the prowl for dirt, controversy, and scandal. And if they can’t find anything, don’t think they won’t invent something.
If bullies select you as their target, they will go over everything about you with a fine-toothed comb.
They will scan every word that comes out of your mouth for the slightest hint of sarcasm, stupidity, slowness of mind – anything they can take offense to, be annoyed with, pick apart, or twist to suit a vicious narrative.
They look you up and down, then back up. Bullies search your face for the slightest blemish and smallest mole, pimple, or birthmark. They scan the clothes you wear to see if they’re old hand-me-downs or if they’re brand new latest fashions from the department store. Bullies will study your attire carefully, looking for the slightest stain or tear.
Bullies stare at your body to see if you’re even the slightest overweight or underweight. They check your nose to see if it’s a millimeter too long and your ears to see with they’re too big.
They scan your hair to see if it’s too straight or too curly and your eyes to see if they’re too buggy-looking, or too wide-set.
They look deep into your eyes, seemingly down into your very soul, trying to see if you are hiding something from them- trying to ferret out your emotional state.
Bullies watch your every move, just waiting, with bated breath, for you to trip, fall, drop something- anything they can use against you.
Bullies also have an ear cocked for any damaging information about you- any mistake you may have made or anything you may have done wrong sometime in the past- even if it was years ago.
But know this.
If your bullies have to look for stuff to use to throw shade on you, they were probably never bothered by you in the first place. And, truth be known, they’re probably not bothered by you now. So, rest assured you did nothing to get on their “shadar.”
I want you to realize this.
when bullies must hunt for stuff to criticize you about
when they have to search for things about you to be angry, annoyed, or disgusted with
when they have to clock your every move for the slightest inkling of weirdness, awkwardness, or defect
It’s not about them being angry, offended, or bothered. What it is about is POWER!All about power and nothing else!
Every bit of it is a power-play to put you in your place, to force you under their thumb, and to hurt you.
Bullies do it to tear you down, discourage you from defending and protecting yourself. They do it to convince you that you’re nothing, no good, and always wrong. They do it to show you who’s boss- that they’re in charge of your life and you’re not. And that there’s nothing you can do to stop them from harming you.
As the old proverb goes, “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups”. This has been true since the dawn of time. There’s strength in numbers. And bullies are notorious for running in packs and using their numbers to intimidate targets.
However, there’s a reason that goes much deeper than strength or power.
Social science has proved that comradeship is born when two or more people can find something (or someone)they dislike- a common enemy they can all share a passionate dislike for. And if members of the group do not feel they can get solidarity any other way, they will find and/or create an enemy who they can all unite against.
Simply put, they single out and harass a certain person for purposes of group cohesion- to facilitate camaraderie among the other bullies in the group.
Put another way, they use their victim as a vehicle for interaction, ingratiation, and bonding. Uniting against an enemy ensures group solidarity. Each member takes turns bullying the victim because they know it’s what’s expected of them by the rest of the pack. Therefore they commit the harassment to ‘fit in’ and get rewards of group unity at the victim’s expense.
Today, we call this “pack mentality” or “herd mentality”. And sadly, most people will do anything, right or wrong, to follow the rest of the herd.
Cyberbullying can be bullying of the most devastating kind and for anyone- children, teens, and adults alike. This is because attacks are seen by a much wider audience and there’s a high degree of anonymity as cyberbullies are cowards and hide behind fake screen names and profiles to avoid exposure.
Here are 7 common tricks they use to cover their own behinds and make you look like the perpetrator.
1. They will inbox you with a barrage of insidious messages. Again, cyberbullies are cowards and fear being detected for the sick creeps they are. So, they use the inbox to unleash their vitriol onto their victims. Even if you delete the person from your friends’ list, they can still send messages through the inbox. Just as the woman above did.
2. They will tag you in a post, then claim you’re stalking their page. This happened to me once. Although this is rather obvious (or should be) to others and used by dumber and maybe drunk cyberbullies, it does happen.
3. They rally their friends to troll your page. Once you hit the “Block” button, watch for an influx of friend requests from people you don’t know or who would otherwise never in a million years “friend” you. This almost always happens just after you’ve blocked a cyberbully.
4. They troll the pages of your spouse, family, and friends. Cyberbullies do this to seek and gather information about you and those you’re closest to, which is then used as either ammunition to defame you, make fun of you, or to attack those you love.
5. They create hurtful, degrading, and humiliating memes of you. Cyberbullies do this to intimidate, embarrass you, and to bait others to harass you.
6. They have others (or they do it themselves) to insert images of porn and other disgusting materials onto your timeline. All designed to cause embarrassment.
7. They copy your profile photo and create duplicate and fake profiles in your name, claiming to be you. They then send requests to all your family, friends, and associates to bait them to accept. Once the requests have been accepted, the cyberbully then sends your associates deplorable messages or tags them and posts flaming or lewd posts to their timelines in hopes of causing friction between you and the people you care about.
And sadly, there isn’t much anyone can do until better technology is introduced to track down these vile bullies and more robust laws are passed against this practice.
Here are ways you can deal with a cyberbully.
1. Out them. Expose them by taking screenshots of their profiles and of the nasty messages they send you. Screenshot every message or vile comment. Then plaster them all over the internet. Hey, they asked for it. So, put them on blast. Exposure is the best way to shut these idiots down.
2. Unfriend and BLOCK them. You don’t need them in your life- or stalking your page. Get rid of them! Also, the sooner you block the creep, the less likely they are to send you a virus or get access to any sensitive information.
3. Delete the incendiary posts or comments but keep the screenshots stored in a folder. Always take screenshots and save any evidence of online bullying because you never know when you might need them for litigation.
By being vigilant, I was able to save myself a lot of headaches.
If there are other tricks that have been used against you and that I have left out, please feel free to comment.
As we know, targets are often silent about the torment they face at work or school and in most cases. This is due to shame and embarrassment. Also, Most family members and friends are not even aware that there is a problem. Those who do know about it are often at a loss as to how to help them. If you are a family member and are wondering whether or not your loved one is a target of bullying, here are the signs that she’s being bullied:
1. Withdrawal from family and friends – being the target of bullying can slowly chip away at self-esteem. And people with low self-esteem have a tendency to withdraw. It is a defense mechanism to protect oneself against further attacks because bully targets, after being victimized for so long, begin to think that all people are vicious and cannot be trusted.
Therefore, they put up their guard and close themselves off, which can result in missed opportunities for closeness with family members, friendships, or romantic relationships.
Or it could be that they don’t want to bother others with their problems and prefer to handle it on their own. Still, lovingly ask questions and be prepared to listen attentively if they open up.
2. Underachievement – Most targets are underachievers. Their self-esteem has been so badly beaten that they no longer believe in themselves, which can cause a condition known as “Learned Helplessness”. After being told that they are a “loser”, “no good” and/or that they “can’t do anything right” for so long, they tend to believe it themselves. This can have a negative impact on grades, class participation, and performance.
Also, they must focus all their mental energy on ways to avoid the bullies and be safe, which can affect performance.
3. Overachievement – Although bullying can cause underachievement, it can go either way. Some targets of bullying dive into work projects or schoolwork and achieve exceptional grades and class performance to compensate for their low social status among their peers. They feel that they are socially inept somehow, so these kids try to make up for this by excelling in their work, studies, talents, or any other area.
4. Bruises, scrapes, and or cuts on their physical body – many victims of school bullying are targets of physical bullying (being punched, kicked, knocked down, dragged, etc), which occurs mostly in boys, but thanks partially to feminism and the moral decline in today’s young girls and women, physical assaults perpetrated by females are increasing at an alarming rate.
5. Sadness and Depression – symptoms are crying, withdrawal, loss of interest in activities one normally enjoys, and fatigue.
6. Excessive absences from school – Most targets are afraid of going to work or school because they know that as soon as they step arrive or step onto the bus, bullies will be waiting for them. So, they avoid going by either skipping, feigning illness, or calling in sick.
7. They may become bullies themselves – Often, bullied people feel helpless. They feel that they have absolutely no control over anything. So they too become bullies in an attempt to feel some sense of power and control over something- ANYTHING.
They bully others who are even more powerless to make themselves feel better about themselves and to feel that they are a rung or two up from the bottom of the social hierarchy. Crap always rolls downhill.
An example of this would be: A child gets yelled at by parents, then goes outside and kicks the dog. It’s the same with most bully targets. And as much as I hate to admit it, I was guilty of the same thing in school.
8. Suicidal thoughts and attempts – sadly, suicides resulting from bullying are at an all-time high! Most people who are bullied are powerless to stop it. Most have tried reporting it to authority or handling it themselves to no avail.
Targets often feel alone and have no one in their corner. They feel that there is something wrong with them. They’re made to feel as is it is their fault and that somehow, they deserve the shabby treatment they get.
Sadly, some targets break under the pressure and come to the conclusion that suicide is the only way to make it stop. If you even think that your loved one might be suicidal, Get help now!
Targets need a support system! Be that support system! Be there for them! If you see any of these signs in a loved one, don’t ignore or minimize it!Ask questions!!!
Try to get them to open up. It won’t be easy, as people are ashamed to admit being bullied, even to their own families. However, if you want to help them, you have to address it and you have to do it gently and lovingly.
Sadly, neither did I. Although bullying is never a laughing matter, if I’d only realized this back then, I would’ve laughed at them instead of letting them get me upset.
Think about it. When you’re bullied, your peers stay mad at you all the time, have negative and destructive thoughts of you, talk about you constantly, start whispering campaigns to keep you alone and friendless.
You consume their thoughts day and night! And all of this takes so much energy, so much effort! Wow!
All this just for you!
I’m making fun of the bullies of course. Because they tell all just by their reactions, which only means you’re not boring(Snicker). Good or bad, they keep you relevant. You can rile people up, fire up their emotions, make them crazy with rage without lifting a finger!
All you have to do is to be seen or walk into the room and blood pressures all around you shoot up. You’re making an impact on them.
Understand that bullies don’t hate you, they only hate themselves because you remind them of what they only wish they could be.
You may not realize it, but you’re really the one in control. Take advantage of it. Fire them up. Because anger affects a person’s ability to think clearly and causes them to goof up, make a mistake, and shoot themselves in the foot.
That’s right! They’ll get so fired up that they’ll do something stupid and get caught. You won’t even have to snitch! They’ll do it for you!
Although I’m being a smart-aleck, it’s also true. You can very slyly get bullies worked up and they’ll slip up and end up being “hoisted by their own petards”.