Bullies and Cognitive Dissonance

I don't want to hear it

Bullies don’t want to notice anything about you that forces them to remember that you are generally a good person.

They don’t want to remember that you were once respected and very well-liked.

Bullies don’t want to recognize that you’re a kind and thoughtful person and not deserving of brutal treatment.

They don’t want to see that you’re hurting and you’re the one being attacked.

Bullies don’t want to see you as being a human being, deserving of the same rights and considerations as everyone else.

And the reason why bullies do NOT want to see these things is that it would only prick at their consciences and make them feel dirty!

Blame shifting

Understand that, regardless of the facts, of what you say or do, or of your intentions, everything will be taken out of context, misconstrued, and spun to support the bullies’ narratives, whatever they may be.

Deep down inside, your bullies, their followers, your former friends who have been turned against you- they all know that you’re a great person. Believe me, they are very much aware of your kindness, your big heart, and of your potential, only they would never in this lifetime admit it. Because to admit it would be to convict themselves.

Admission of your positive qualities would be an admission of their guilt! That they were in the wrong and that they are a bunch of cruel monsters!

So, in order to save face and not feel like total scumbags, they can’t afford to acknowledge the truth. Because to do so would be to demonize themselves.

shame humiliate

For instance, any time I happen to run into one or more of my former bullies from school at the supermarket, the gas station, or anywhere else in public, they automatically turn their heads and walk away- fast! But I understand where it all comes from.

I don’t feel rejected. I don’t feel the least bit upset about it because I see it for what it is and what it is, is guilt! It’s nothing personal.

Each time they see my face, they’re reminded of the horrible things they did years ago, and they feel dirty!

No one wants to feel dirty.

So, when this happens to you, don’t be hurt or offended. Don’t feel rejected because it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and the feelings of shame that they’re so desperately trying to avoid.

10 thoughts on “Bullies and Cognitive Dissonance

  1. Reminds me of Rachel Burgio’s tirade when I almost convinced her she was wrong in destroying me. She screamed like a banshee in my fave, slammed the desks, flailed her fat, flabby arms in the air and told me she wished I was dead! The whole study hall applauded and I fled sobbing! I know I’ve posted this comment before, but it bears repeating. Bullies never admit guilt, show remorse, etc…

  2. Pingback: Links - Kory & Allison Read

  3. Pingback: Former Bullies Who Deny The Abuse They Inflicted | Chateau Cherie

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