It’s Not Only About Punishing Bullies. It’s About Helping Targets.

bullying blame shame victim-blaming

People pointing a woman hidden behind a computer

Holding bullies accountable isn’t the end-all, be-all. Yes, bullies must be exposed and made to take responsibility. I’ll agree with that. But!

A bully may be punished and severely so, but there’s no guarantee he/she will learn from it and leave the target alone.

In fact, it almost never works because in most situations, when a bully is caught and held responsible, it only further angers the bully and makes them that much more vindictive and determined to retaliate against the target.

In instances such as these, the objective should also be to take steps to care for and protect the victim.

If a bully sees that others are rallying around the target and showering him/her with love and support, the least likely he (the bully) will continue to harass that target or plot retaliation.

Remember that bullies are great big wusses at heart and prefer to catch the target alone and isolated because that is when the target is most vulnerable.

Giving support to a victim of bullying could be as simple as walking them home from school, praising them for an accomplishment, or helping them to enroll in a self-defense class.

So, if you see someone being bullied, give them support, and show you care. You never know. You could end up saving a life! You could be someone’s hero! How awesome is that?

12 thoughts on “It’s Not Only About Punishing Bullies. It’s About Helping Targets.

  1. OMG!!!! This is the exact thing that happened at the gym I belong to. There is this lady that bullies so many people and the last person she bullied had a gang of people literally rally around her. We protected her from this moron! She then backed off and even tried to soften up a tad bit!

  2. I love this! When many of my daughters “friends” joined the bully I started volunteering more at her school and she made new friends. Her bully stopped finally last year and she’s now surrounded by true honest friends. Her bully now wants nothing more than to be her friend. Can a victim be friends with their bully in the end?

    • Such a lovely comment! And I’m so happy for your daughter! Yes, a victim absolutely can be friends with a bully in the end. I became close friends with a few of my old bullies from school and they are some of the closest friendships I have! One of those friends died just a few years ago and I still miss her. I lost a sister when she passed away.

      • Oh no sorry to hear that 🙁 I’m nervous for her to be friends with her bully. How will I or her know she’s being genuine and not a snake? Or did you already do a blog on it lol

        • Tell her to listen to her gut. If she senses something that’s “off” about the other girl and feels that nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach everytime the girl is around, that’s a good indicator that she should avoid her like the plague.

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