Bullies Despise It When You Outshine Them

bullied pound of flesh

Especially those who are narcissists. These bullies have to be at the top of the game in everything. They must be the center of attention- all the time.

Anyone who outshines them in any way is fair game for attack. If you have any talents, anything at all you’re good at, or in which you’re super successful, these bullies will never stop coming after you.

They’ll often accuse you behind your back of the following:

1. “She’s just showing off.”
2. “Oh, she’s just trying to get attention.”
3. “He just loves to flaunt his (money, material possessions, masculinity, etc.)”
4. “She’s not so hot!”
5. “He’s a wuss, wimp, etc.”
6. “She’s arrogant, full of herself, pompous, stuck up, etc.”

hypocrite hypocrisy double standard

But notice! These bullies will often accuse the target of the same things they are guilty of themselves.

By displaying your talents, winning awards, and favor with others and charming those in authority, the target unwillingly offends the bullies’ own excessive vanity. The target instills an imbalance of the bullies’ sense of self and makes them doubt their superiority by poking holes in their importance.

These jealous brutes are often at the top of the pecking order- the popular kids at school or the high executives in the workplace.

Understand that people such as these can’t accept being outdone in anything by anyone. And if they’re outshone by anyone they deem as inferior- their targets, all the worse! They’ll then stop at nothing to “put you back in your place.”

narcissist bully

They don’t care about your talents, your natural gifts, your successes, or smarts. If anything, they despise them. They hate any threat to their superiority.

These bullies will have followers who will kiss up to them and many others who are afraid of them. You’ll know these people right away when you meet them.

They’ll be loud, obnoxious, and arrogant. These bullies will be in a clique and will have attitudes of self-entitlement. They’ll also expect perks and favors and more than likely get them. Anyone outside of their group, they will treat like dirt under their shoes.

Although talk is cheap and what they say behind your back is just a bunch of hot air, be careful your bullies don’t try to do something harmful to you.

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If you attract these bullies’ ire, here’s a short list of ways to keep them at bay:

1. Never reveal your plans and goals.
2. Never share anything you wouldn’t want anyone to know.
3. Display your talents, yes. But don’t brag about them.
4. Don’t dumb down for anyone, but don’t be too flashy with any intelligence, especially in the workplace.
5. Politely thank those who compliment you. Nothing more.
6. Humble yourself, yes. But you don’t have to undermine yourself to satisfy these brutes. Quiet confidence is key here.

Do these things, and you’re less likely to have a target on your back!

16 thoughts on “Bullies Despise It When You Outshine Them

  1. OMG! Yess!!! I’ve dealt with these kind of bullies my entire life and as I got older, especially being a Music Major in college, I ran across so many of them. Particularly in choir class. You have some singers who hate being outshined, so they do things to try and make it look like you’re not all that great like eye roll when everyone claps and praises your performance on something, or be the one critic in the room that thinks one note was sung too sharp or flat. You get to the point you just smile it off and laugh inside because you know they are just hating because they have a bit of competition and there’s someone they have to share the spotlight with now. It goes back to what you said to me some weeks ago in a comment. The bullies sometimes grow into bigger bullies and this is an example of that. Really awesome post, Cherie! I always love your posts!

    • Thank you so much, Jackie. Sometimes that’s best. Just remember not to completely dumb yourself down and hide. Suppressing yourself isn’t good either. Only you know where the middle lies. And know that you’re awesome no matter what people say! <3

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