Stephen King’s “Carrie”

The first time I saw Carrie was when I was a senior in high school and I couldn’t help but hurt for her.

She’s a high school senior who’s bullied by her classmates and abused by her psychotic and religious fanatic mother. It seems that Carrie can never get away from the drama and she longs for the things that everyone else seems to come by so easily.

One thing she does have that her classmates don’t is telekinetic powers- powers that she uses as a powerful weapon at the end of the movie. And when I got to see her pour out her wrath upon the people who treated her so badly, I was cheering her on inside and find myself secretly wishing that I too had those powers.

I think we all did if we ever saw the movie.

“Carrie” was Stephen King’s first published book that soared to the top of the best seller list, then became a movie in the 70’s. It’s an awesome movie for Halloween. If you haven’t seen it, you should.

WordPress Issues

Here lately, WordPress, for some reason or another, has put a lot of sincere comments and replies I’ve gotten into my Spam Folder- comments and replies that AREN’T spam. And I’ve found them later.

I try my best to give a prompt response to every comment and reply I get. The only times I’m not so prompt is when I’m sick, asleep, away from my computer, away from home, or when WP mistakingly puts them in Spam.

So, with that said. I’d like to offer a sincere apology to those who have had to wait for an extended time for a response.  Know that all comments are important and I have every intention of responding.

Also, I’m having an issue with my Followers List, it seems that it’s not showing the follows that followed before Feb. 15 and I’ve spoken to a technician that says they’re there but there’s a bug in the system somewhere. So, to all my followers that followed me before Feb 15 of this year, know that I have every intention of reading your blogs and interacting with you. I just can’t see you on the list right now and I can’t remember all the bloggers on the list. So, if you don’t hear from me, you will as soon as the developers at WP debug my list page and I can see you again. I apologize to all of you.

Blessings to you all.

Crappy Advice Often Given to Targets of Bullying

If you have ever been a target of bullying, how many of these did you hear from your well-meaning family members and friends when you were trying to deal with the onslaught of bullies?

  1. Keep a low profile
  2. Keep your nose clean
  3. Tread lightly
  4. Don’t rock the boat
  5. Don’t make waves
  6. Tone it down a little
  7. Don’t draw attention to yourself
  8. Stay out of the way
  9. Keep your head down
  10. Don’t poke the bear
  11. Make yourself scarce
  12. Be nonchalant
  13. Stay out of trouble
  14. Go the extra mile
  15. Try to blend in

If you were ever told one (or more) of these 15 things, feel free to comment!

Blogger’s Butt

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I haven’t been practicing self-care as I should. Oh, yes, I stick up for myself anytime someone violates my psychological boundaries. However, I haven’t been focusing enough on my physical health and I’ve put on a few pounds because I sit behind a computer for sometimes hours a day.

What really stinks is that I eat like a bird due to having had GBS in 2012. But! I don’t get up and move like I should and have lost the pep in my step. I’ve also noticed my caboose getting wider.

Ugh! Middle-Age Spread, here I come!

My energy is pretty much non-existent and although I don’t eat a lot of junk, I could eat a little better. The sluggishness I’ve felt is yucky, to put it mildly.

Luckily, I found a Keto blog and I absolutely loved it! And, I’ve been thinking about trying the Keto plan and doing HIT (High-Intensity Training) in the mornings. Oh, yes, I know I picked a fine time to start with Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner. But, I do need to start feeling better. So, there’s no time like the present to start taking better care of myself!

Wish me luck. And pray I stay on the wagon until I get to cheat a little on Thanksgiving. Then it’s back at it again until Christmas. 🙂

Responding in Kind

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with responding in kind when someone tries to mistreat you. It shows that you command the dignity and respect that’s due to the next person and that you won’t tolerate crap from bullies. It also shows that you have the guts to stand your ground when some creep violates your boundaries.

As a society, we’ve been conditioned by politicians, the media, corporations, educators, and even certain members of our families that responding in kind only makes us as bad as the bullies. And we’re still being conditioned to believe it. We’re being told to “ignore” people’s atrocious behavior, and in some cases, even submit to it.

However, I want you to understand that the only thing bullies understand is strength and power and anyone they deem as weak is fair game.

Therefore, if you don’t respond in kind to bad behavior, bullies will get the message that there are no consequences for their abuse and that they can walk on you anytime they feel like it. There’ll be no stopping them from escalating the bullying and no limit to what they’ll try next.

Full Length of Two Adult Woman Standing Side by Side with Hands on Hips in Separate Lanes of Outdoor Running Track – Two Friends Sizing Up Competition

You must set boundaries, and how you set boundaries is by imposing consequences on anyone who violates those boundaries. But how do you impose consequences? By responding in kind to bullies when they cross the line.

Notice I say “respond” and not react. By responding the right way, you show that you’re not afraid to stand your ground and that you command the same dignity and respect given to the next person.

There’s no law that says that you must accept abuse from anyone. Yet, we’re very subtly being told that we should take it, and with a smile, and a yes sir/ma’am, then ask for seconds. In today’s world, society tries to dictate that we should agree to abuse.

Um- no! That’s now how life or human nature works! Every action is followed by a response!

Bullies must realize that there are consequences if they harm another person. And we must realize that it is the threat of consequences that keeps the bad guys from coming for us and keeps us safe. Without accountability, there would be chaos and anarchy! Bullies would have free reign over us all.

So, never be afraid to respond in kind and never feel guilty for it. It’s normal, expected, and it’s how you defend yourself and treat yourself well.

The more you know…

If You’re Going to Play the Fool, Be a Genius at It

stupid idiot

Though bullies may think you’re the stupidest person on the face of the earth, you can turn it against them and to your own advantage if you do it right.

Nobody likes to feel stupider than the next person and bullies have a way of making you feel that way. The feeling that someone else is smarter than you are can be unbearable and if bullies get the feeling that you’re smarter than them, they’ll always try to justify it by saying things like,

“You may have all the book smarts in the world, but not have a lick of common sense.”

My classmates always used to say, “she may be good at writing and singing, but she ain’t good at anything else!” or my personal favorite, “If it weren’t for her singing voice or writing talent, she wouldn’t be worth a damn!”

But here’s a nugget of reality they hadn’t learned and even today, still don’t know: Everyone’s a dummy outside of their talents, gifts, and fields!

Fish can’t fly,
Birds can’t swim,
Most pro football players can’t write fiction novels,
And most singers and writers probably suck at sports!

Stephen King is a fantastic writer, but probably couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket!

My point is that everyone has something they’re good at, maybe some haven’t found out what it is, but everyone has a talent somewhere!

I can’t count the times that people- classmates and some teachers, told me that very same line to remind me that I wasn’t as smart as I made myself out to be, even when I made good grades and high marks or was recognized for an achievement.

I seemed to get that little reminder all the time.

But understand that people will say things like this any time they feel you are surpassing them at something. Even better they lull themselves into thinking you are dumber than anyone else! But if you see it as an opportunity, you can turn tables on bullies and make utter fools out of them- right before the eyes of everyone else!

So, let them delude themselves into a false sense of superiority. Oh yes! You read that correctly! Let them think you’re the dumbest, most ignorant fool around because it’s the first step in laying your trap for them.

And once they get the idea that you’re so dumb you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot, that’s when it’s time to pull something elaborate, sly, and shady as hell!

Look dumber than your bullies and their perceptions of you will be your shield- your cover when you slyly bait them or attack them, trick or deceive them! And if they do find out you were behind it, it’ll be too late, and they’ll look like blooming idiots!

I’ll give you an example from when I was in middle school (then called junior high):

During the seventh grade, a group of girl bullies sat at the table next to mine and they were brutal. One day, suddenly and out of the clear blue, they began acting nice.

I knew there had to be a catch somewhere, but I decided to humor them just to see what they wanted. Don’t they all want something when they suddenly begin pouring on the pleasantries? Sure enough, they very sweetly asked me to take up their trays (Ah-HA!!!)

There it was, having seen them do the same to a smaller boy in the class, I smiled at them, and agreed to do it. So, I decided to be their maid for a while, having cooked up something evil to spring on them.

Yep! I was a bit of a stinker back then.

Other kids laughed and thought I was a complete pushover. But I knew something they didn’t, and they’d soon find out when the opportunity arrived for me to put my plan into action.

I continued to play maidservant to them for the next week until they decided that they were going to get up and leave the lunchroom. The girls got a little bit too comfortable. They left their trays, empty milk cartons, dirty napkins, and other garbage lying on the table. They were so certain that I’d clean up behind them after they left.

I only got up and went to my next class, leaving those trays sitting right there on the table, where the girls had left them. As a result, the cafeteria ladies got the names of all the girls and reported them to the principal!

Ruh-roh!

The principal then came and got those girls out of class, took them back to the cafeteria, and made them clean up their mess. Oooh, the humiliation they suffered!

Word got around about it in a matter of minutes, and the girls became laughing stocks of the school! School staff would scowl at the girls and other kids pointed fingers at them, calling them nasty pigs, dirty butts, skanks, slobs, and other degrading names!

‘You see? I played stupid for a while, then ended up making them look like the utter trash they were.

I’ll be honest here. I was loving every minute of it! And their reactions? Fury! Rage! They immediately threatened physical retaliation. They yelled, screamed, called me all kinds of names, while I stood there and snickered.

Luckily nothing happened and best of all, they never bothered me again after their anger cooled. They learned a valuable lesson in this: Never underestimate someone you think is stupid. They just might prove to be smarter than you think.

And if the opportunity presents itself, why not take it?

Wishing Life Away

We hold on to tomorrow instead of living in today.

Instead of living in the present, we wish for the future, for a better day.

We want to hurry up and grow up.

Hurry up and graduate.

Always wishing for a later date.

Hurry up and find that soulmate.

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

We’re too busy pushing fast-forward when we should press play and enjoy the movie.

Time is a thief and life is too brief.

Before we know it, we’re forty, fifty, then seventy-five.

Gone is the time better spent enjoying being alive.

At the end of life, we dream about the past.

Now, we only wish we could rewind.

We held onto tomorrow, only to end up wishing for yesterday.

Gratitude

It is with heartfelt gratitude that I announce reaching the 1000 mark! I want to thank all my fellow bloggers, followers, and readers for your support of this blog. I could never have made it this far without you. Through WordPress, I’ve found such an awesome community and made so many great friends. Words can never express what a huge blessing each and every one of you are to my life. I’m truly thankful, honored and humbled. And I look forward to many, many years with you and to forming new friendships.

 

Witnessing Bullying in Nursing School

It seems that the finest nurses get the worst rap. Because of their empathy and their love and dedication to the job, they are often the ones who are targeted most by bullies. A nurse’s job is hard enough but when she is bullied by not only superiors and coworkers, but patients and their families too, I can only imagine how much harder she must work to hold it together- especially if he/she is fresh out of nursing school.

When a nurse is bullied, it’s devastating and only goes to show what a thankless job he/she does! And sadly, bullying often starts in nursing school.

There’s a saying that’s been popular for quite a while:

“Nurses eat their young.”

Sadly, it’s true and most likely the reason the medical field has such a shortage of nurses.

If you’ve ever been through nursing school, then you know it’s not only boot camp for your brain, but also a cesspool of bullies. Not that all nurses are bullies because they’re not. We have some fine nurses and they are our heroes! But sadly, the bullies seem to spoil it for all these wonderful people!

It’s shocking that there are bullies in a profession which is centered on care and healing and pride’s itself on compassion and empathy. Yet many students who’d be awesome nurses are often bullied out by those who are only in it for the great pay and prestige they know will come with being a nurse.

And in the workplace, the handful of bullies often make it hard for the greatest nurses in the field!

In 2013, I began training to become an RN. And I won’t pretend that it wasn’t tough. Although there were a few times when a few attempted to bully me, I managed to blow it off and after a few times, they left me alone.

However, there was another woman, a young girl who was just a few years post-high school. I had the displeasure of watching her get tormented by the other students. And they would bully her to the point of tears! Even the instructors mistreated her. My heart broke for her. We’ll call her McKinley.

McKinley was young, a vibrant and gorgeous lady! And beautiful! So beautiful that she could’ve easily been a face on a magazine cover!

I’m not kidding. This young lady had movie-star looks- a trim waist, long beautiful hair, wide, almond-shaped eyes, and a natural sun-kissed glow! And these spiteful older women in the staff seemed to target her every chance they got, which sent the message to the other students that it was okay for them to bully her too.

Bullies only ruin any profession they seek.

motivational inspirational

What was really shocking was that the two main bullies in the class would cheat on tests and when the rest of the class reported them, they were allowed to get away with it because, conveniently, the cameras in the classroom weren’t working or so it was told. And would you believe these instructors made sure the cheaters went on to graduate?

It’s funny how those two seemed to get a free pass. But you can bet that if they’d accused sweet McKinley of the same, they wouldn’t have thought twice about kicking her out of the nursing program!

Lucky for me, I still remember the cheater’s names and will know who to watch out for in the event I get sick and end up in a hospital bed.

As I continued to watch McKinley get berated, I grew both sad and angry at the same time. So, I decided to befriend her and immediately took her under my wing, giving her a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on when she needed it.

Great illustration of Retro Styled Businesswoman who caught up in a bureaucratic Spiders Web and looks like she is on the menu of a business lunch.

Having been bullied in the past and knowing well how it felt, I bore this child’s pain! She soon became “my daughter from another mother” and through the rest of the semester, McKinley and I were inseparable.

I never went back after that semester. This experience made me realize that this wasn’t really what I wanted to do. McKinley dropped out the following semester.

She and I remain friends to this day and I’m excited to say, she’s happy! McKinley has moved on to a better life. Having since gotten married and had two children. She’s also moved on to another career, one she enjoys!

McKinley now has the job, family, and home she’s always wanted and I couldn’t be more proud of her. And I have no doubt she will continue to make her surrogate mother proud!

Reminder:
Don’t forget to pray from all the great nurses and other healthcare workers during this crisis! They not only put themselves but their families at risk! Pray that God will form a hedge of protection around them and bless them with staying healthy as they continue to put in long hours and help those who are stricken with Coronavirus.

A Letter to My Teenage Self (Part 2)

I know it’s tough. But sometimes you must first live with what you hate before you can move on to what you love. You must weather the storm before you can see sunlight. Understand that only when we’ve been through hell, do we appreciate heaven so much more.

Although your mind tells you that there’s something wrong with you- that it’s your fault- that you must be doing something to rub these people the wrong way, your heart tells you differently.

Your heart tells you that you did nothing wrong, that these classmates don’t like themselves and that they’re putting all that negative energy off on you. But this war between your mind and your heart leaves you exhausted.

No matter how bad things get, I see that small glimmer of hope in your eyes. Don’t lose it.

Although you carry an enormous amount of pain, you’re still holding on, taking it one day at a time. Keep it up.

Please love yourself and continue to forge your own path despite how others may treat you.

And please don’t hate your classmates, feel sorry for them- take pity on them. Because their lives aren’t as perfect as they let on. Believe it or not, your classmates are hurting too.

They have mental problems of their own that they never confessed, addressed, nor got help for. Only they’ll never in this lifetime tell you about it.

Understand that they’re only keeping up appearances, which is such hard work. And they’re angry at you because you don’t have to work as hard as they do.

Realize that many of them are abused at home, have parents who are into prostitution or drugs and alcohol, and who fight. Many of them are also dirt poor, surviving on welfare and ashamed of it. Many of your classmates have home lives you couldn’t imagine! And school is their happy place.

Open your eyes and see that your home life is better than a lot of kids your age. Be thankful for it. Your home is a sanctuary compared to most.

And they’re also scared- scared of becoming just like you- a target! Therefore, they feel compelled to join in the bullying in order to make their bones with the in-clique.

But understand that all this makes them cowards and again, they’re to be pitied, not hated.

You don’t yet realize how strong, brave, and resilient you are. But you are- just for the fact that you haven’t dropped out of school like so many of your classmates. You haven’t quit the race! You haven’t given up on life!

Even though you know all too well that you will be bombarded with a barrage of taunts and insults, or worse, physically attacked once you pass through the school entrance, you manage to find the courage to get up every morning and go to school and- you do it scared!

So, who are the weak ones now?

They may have favor with most of the teachers, even the ones who have little hope for you. However, most of them will never leave this town. This is a small town- only a dot on the map. In a small town, it doesn’t take much effort nor very long to maximize one’s potential.

Even though you feel so small and insignificant, understand that each of your classmates feels the same way you do. And the only way they can feel big and powerful is to make you feel bad. And one day, you’re going to see just how they end up.

Only a few will make it. The rest will be living in loveless and abusive marriages. Many will be poor and wondering how they’ll pay the rent. Some will join gangs or begin slinging dope.

Several will immerse themselves in drugs and alcohol to cope with their failures in life. A good portion of them will end up behind bars. And many will have kids who disrespect and hurt them.

Love yourself

Most of your classmates will be on a desperate and never-ending search for love, going through numerous divorces and broken relationships. They’ll never learn to fall in love with themselves and with life first.

They’ll be on an endless quest for happiness and never realize that happiness comes from within themselves.

I know you want so badly to fix it, but don’t know what’s broken.

You’ll laugh at me when I tell you what I’m about to tell you. You’ll probably tell me I’m crazy and that I don’t know what I’m talking about. But I’m going to tell you anyway.

There’s nothing wrong with you. Your classmates are the ones with the issues! They are the ones who are “crazy” and to keep everyone from figuring it out, they put it all off on you.

I want you to know that you’re a major threat to them. That’s right. You are a threat to your classmates. Do you know why?

dreamstime_xs_78910116

It’s because you’re smart- smart enough to see right through them and they know it. They also hate it!

You’re also talented. You can sing, for crying out loud! Your classmates know you can sing and they’re jealous of your beautiful voice. They’re afraid that you’ll expose the bullying and let all their skeletons out of the closet.

Why do you think they shout you down and tell you to “shut up” every time you start to open your mouth? Why do you think they scream at you and tell you to sit down every time you get up to sharpen a pencil or turn in homework- or speak up to answer a teacher’s question in class?

But they’re very much afraid that you’ll humiliate them, so they keep you afraid to open your mouth.

They hate it when you write. But understand that they’re afraid you might be writing about them and their cruelty. Isn’t that why they had your journal taken?

But know this. You have so much potential. You just don’t know it yet, because you’ve been programmed to think that you’re no good and will never amount to anything.

dreamstime_xs_107988514

I know that sometimes you want to die. But if you keep living, I promise that things will get better- much better! Because you’re going to accomplish things you never thought you would. You will end up surprising yourself!

Although you think this is a load of feel-good garbage now, the truth is that your classmates bully you to keep you down because they fear that if you ever rise, you’ll cause them to fade into the background.

I also know that your home life isn’t so hot either. Your father doesn’t believe in you and treats you more like a stepchild than a child. He acts like you’re not one of his. But understand that he’s battling demons of his own.

And I know that you’re anxious for your mother to remarry so you’ll have a replacement dad. I know you dream of having a stepdad who’ll legally adopt you as his own. But honey, no one else will ever replace your daddy and someday, you’re going to realize it.

I know it seems that you and Mom don’t see eye to eye and the easiest way to avoid any fallouts is to stay in your room, write, and get lost in the music you blare so loudly.

I know you feel like she’s ashamed of you and wishes she had a different child. She isn’t and she doesn’t. She loves you very much and the bullying you suffer hurts her too. Know that she’s on your side.

dreamstime_xs_111326515

And you’re going to find out later that if you open your heart to her and talk, even cry to her, she’ll listen while she holds you, and you’ll grow closer than ever before.

Also, realize that every kid goes through times when they’re at odds with parents. And I’ll go back to a point I made earlier- your home life is a lot better than most.

I know you’re withdrawn- closed off- scared to talk to people because you’re afraid they’ll make fun of anything you have to say. But take the risk anyway. Open your heart to people. Laugh and have fun with them. I promise you that they just might see your golden heart and love you for it.

School is worse than anything. I know that inside, you want to laugh, want to sing, want to dance, but you’re afraid. Know that one day, you’ll have the courage to let yourself do and be.

Know that what you’re going through now is only temporary.

(Continued in Part 3…)

On the Beach (Part 2)

(Continued from Part 1)

I don’t think we’d ever run so fast in our entire lives. We got to the parking lot in what seemed like only seconds. We threw our beach bags, towels, and backpacks into the jeep before jumping in and clicking our seatbelts.

I cranked the engine, shifted into drive, and we peeled away, squealing tires. When we turned onto the main road, I made such a sharp turn at such high speeds that the passenger side of the jeep tipped upward and for a second or two, we were only riding on the driver’s side two tires. The other three girls grabbed the overhead bar to steady themselves.

After I completed the turn and corrected, the passenger side of the jeep dropped to the ground with a loud bang and jolt that bounced everyone off their seats.

“Easy! EASY! We’re not going to be any better off if we tip over and roll!” Sarah yelled.

“Just hang on!” I shouted back, pushing the gas pedal to the floor.

We sped toward the mountains, which were just beyond a village. With one hand gripping the overhead bar and the other holding her beach hat in place on her head to keep it from blowing off, Tess accidentally removed her hand to dig in her bag. Sure enough, the hat blew off and slid down the road behind us.

“Shit! My hat!”

“Screw the hat! Punch it, Lanie!” Sarah shouted.

We came to the crowded village and noticed that the people there looked as if it was just a normal day and they were just going on about their lives. Business as usual.

“Jeez! What the hell are they doing! Why aren’t they running for higher ground!” Tess cried.

“We’ve got to stop and warn them,” I said.

“We’ve gotta what??? We don’t have time!” Marissa cried.

Ignoring Marissa’s rely, I hit the breaks and we came to a screeching halt that threw us all forward and pulled our seatbelts taught against us. I then shifted into park, unfastened the belt, stood up in the jeep, and began yelling while pointing toward the ocean, then toward the mountains.

“Hey! Get to higher ground! Hurry! There’s a wave headed for us! C’mon! You got to get out of here! You gotta go NOW!” I screamed.

To our horror, the locals only stood there looking at us as if we’d flipped our wigs. One man turned and looked at the woman beside him. He put a finger next to his temple, doing the classic finger twirl, and I thought I heard the words, “Crazy Americans.” In English but with the native accent.

We tried warning them again but with no success. They only began laughing and pointing at us. Sarah spoke up.

“Forget it, Lanie! We tried! There’s nothing more we can do for these people. Now we have to save our own asses.” She said in a dreadful tone.

“Damn it!” I exclaimed as I dropped back into the seat, threw it into drive, and floored the gas. I looked through the rear-view mirror and noticed the locals standing there gawking at us as we speed away. Once we made it through the village, we made another turn at the foot of the mountain, onto a dirt road that led up it.

As we started up the mountain, we slung dirt and gravel everywhere and hit potholes, which jarred the jeep and everyone in it. Less than a quarter of a mile up the mountain, I glanced through the rear-view mirror at the village and ocean behind it and sure enough, I could see what looked like two white lines on the water. Suddenly, there was another loud bang with a hard jolt that threw us forward once more. The jeep had come to an abrupt stop!

The engine revved loud as I continued to floor the gas, but the jeep didn’t budge!

“What the hell!” I cried as I shifted gears again.

Once again, I shoved the accelerator to the floor and the front tires spun, slinging more dirt and gravel. Still, the jeep didn’t move.

“Come on, Lanie! Punch it!” Sarah yelled.

“I am! We’re stuck!”

“Oh God! That’s it! We’re screwed! ” Marissa shouted.

“Shut up!” I shouted back as I fought with the controls in the jeep to get us free from the hole we were stuck in.

Once more, I looked through the rear-view and could see the white wall of water looming larger in the mirror. I then saw a yacht that was in its path capsize!

“Holy-!”

I frantically shifted gears a third time and stood on the gas. Nothing!

“It’s no use! We gotta BAIL! We gotta go the rest of the way on foot!” I cried.

With that, we all quickly came out of our seat belts, hopped out of the jeep, and grabbed our things. As we began hoofing it up the mountain, we could hear the distant, rumbling roar behind us, and, second by second, the sound grew louder.

(Continued in Part 3)

On the Beach – Flash-Fiction

It was a beautiful day out on the beach. It was a secluded beach and the only people there besides us were a couple of runners and an older lady walking her dog. But this was what we had hoped for, a beach that wasn’t crowded- where we could get some peace and quiet.

My girlfriends and I planned for over a year to take this vacation and finally, success! We were finally here on this tropical island, basking in the sun and swimming in the clearest, bluest waters we’d ever seen. So, we swam, feeling the cool water caress our bodies and enjoying the waves that bobbed us like fishing corks and pushed us up so high our feet left the sandy bottom, then washed over us before setting us back down.

The sounds were a breathtaking mixture of many crying seagulls and whispering waves. I’d always loved the sounds of the ocean. The sea was something you never wanted to leave, even turn your back on. Arriving here was such a joyful thing. Leaving would be difficult.

But I wasn’t worried about having to leave and go back home to the daily grind. I only wanted to live in the present, to savor every moment of this wonderful vacation. We all did!

Splashing around in the water with my three girlfriends Tess, Sarah, and Marissa, was a blessing and the memories we’d create today would be the stories we’d reminisce about once we were too old to travel. Our goals were to make as many beautiful memories in the here and now as possible and so far, we were accomplishing that goal!

It’s funny how being in water can tire you out so quickly. We finally decided to rest on the beach in our cozy beach chairs and I dozed off to sleep before I knew it. Not a deep sleep, but more like a light doze- that in-between stage between wakefulness and sleep.

I’d been dozing for about fifteen, maybe twenty minutes when suddenly, I was startled out of my relaxing trance by the sound of Tess’s voice.

“Oh, my gosh! Look, girls!”

I sat up in my chair to see Tess pointing toward the ocean and rubbed my eyes to get a clearer look at what she was pointing at. Marissa gasped!

“What the- where did the water go!” Marissa asked, shocked.

It looked as if the waterline, which had only been about ten feet in front of where we all were lying have moved out by maybe a mile or better. You could still see the ocean, but it looked so much further away than it had twenty minutes before. How had all the water gotten pulled out so quickly? The other three girls just stood and stared, not knowing what to make of this phenomenon.

Suddenly, a very ominous feeling came over me as I remembered an article, I’d read years before that wasn’t good. Scanning the vast, wet sand before us, which was dotted with beached fish that occasionally flopped up in the air, I felt my stomach fall to the ground.

“Oh, shit!” I yelled as I jumped to my feet and began frantically grabbing my beach bag and towel.

At that moment, I couldn’t believe my own mouth. I shocked myself with the expletive because I normally didn’t swear, but in this situation, I didn’t care. My girlfriends jumped with the sound of my screaming voice and looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.

“We gotta go! We gotta go NOW!” I screamed!

“What is wrong with you, Lanie!” Sarah asked me, bewildered.

“We’ve got to get the hell out of here! Grab your stuff and let’s go!” I screamed again, this time louder. I looked around and didn’t see the runners, nor the lady and her dog.

My girlfriends obeyed, quickly scooping up their belongings, then followed my lead as we all ran as fast as we could toward the seawall and the parking lot beyond it, where the jeep was parked.

(Continued in Part 2)

Emotions That Targets of Bullying Feel

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Targets of bullying endure a hell that no one can comprehend unless they themselves have experienced bullying. It’s the same with the range of resulting emotions they feel. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t imagine the intense stress and the wide array of powerful emotions that come with it.

  1. Grief- Once you become an object of bullying or mobbing, life as you know it changes. You mourn for the way your life used to be and long to get your former life back. You also grieve the loss of your respect, dignity, reputation, good standing, and your identity. You mourn the loss of your friends and in some cases, your spouse and family.
  2. Bewilderment- You don’t understand why this is happening to you- why you’re being bullied and why people you love and thought loved you have turned against you. You’re also at a loss as to what you did to bring about such hatred. In your heart, you know that you’re a great person and that you never intentionally slighted nor hurt anyone. So, what gives?

  1. Confusion- You’re at a loss as to which way to turn and who to turn to. And you don’t know what to do to remedy the situation because each time you try, only makes the bullying worse. You feel stuck!
  2. Terror – Anytime you’re targeted, the fear can be paralyzing. You’re afraid to speak but afraid not to speak. You’re afraid of the people around you. You’re afraid to make any moves or decisions because you know that anything you do will be scrutinized and made to look bad, crazy, or evil. You’re afraid to come to school or work because you know they’re all out to get you and you know that if you show, they’ll only blindside you with another attack.

  1. Sadness- You cry in your car to and from your school or workplace. You cry in your pillow at night when you go to bed. It seems that no one will give you a chance and you’re isolated and alone. When you try to make new friends, the bullies always seem to intervene and turn the new people against you too. The type of sadness a target feels is the kind that is deep, dark, and overwhelming.
  2. Depression- This comes with being rendered powerless. It seems that there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. You have the feeling of being bound and gagged. You feel trapped like a rat and there’s nowhere to go where the bullies and participants won’t find you. And you feel that there’s no hope that things will ever get better.

  1. Ohhhh, the rage! This is, by far, THE most powerful emotion targets can have. With each physical or psychological attack, the fury grows until you’d give anything just to have the power to rip their heads off and shoved them up their you-know-whats. Oh, yes! Rage does that to you and gives you such evil thoughts!

I remember the rage I felt in middle and high school when I was a target of bullying and it grew to a level until, at one point, I felt homicidal! I loathed them so intensely that I just wanted all of them to drop dead.

I used my brain. I didn’t allow myself to snap and take any lives. I thought about my future and how doing something horribly violent would ruin it, I then decided that none of my classmates were worth ruining my future and causing my family heartache over and eventually, a door opened for me and I was able to transfer to a new school where things got better.

  1. Suicidal thoughts. It’s not that you want to die. You just want the torment to stop and when it gets to a certain level, death seems to be the only escape for it. These thoughts happen when you feel you’ve exhausted every possible option to make things better. But don’t give up. Because as long as you’re alive, there’s always a good chance that things will change for the better and you can come out victorious on the other side of it.

 I want you to know that if you’re a target of bullying, things may seem hopeless, but they aren’t. Things change for the better all the time and when you least expect them to.

Don’t Be Afraid to Be Alone

I won’t kid you. Being alone can sometimes make a person vulnerable. However, being surrounded by negative people makes you just as vulnerable if not more so. Therefore, being alone can be much better than keeping company with spiteful people who only bring you down.

As difficult as it may be, sometimes you must weed out all these ungrateful souls who don’t see your worth to make room for more positive, caring, and loving people to come in.

Get rid of anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself and only keep company with those who love and respect you. Keep the people in your life who value your opinions, even when those opinions are strong.

If someone is not treating you like you deserve to be treated, never be afraid to let them go, even if it seems that they’re your only options at the moment.

Remember that we must do things that don’t feel comfortable and that are downright scary for any positive change to happen.

Positive change requires that we take risks!