Bullies are slick with their insults. Many times, they may disguise their vitriol and contempt with the use of doublespeak.
The term “doublespeak” comes from George Orwell’s book “1984” and a person uses it when he uses euphemisms and words that sound more palatable to the ears. Bullies use doublespeak to sound concerned rather than hateful to keep from turning other people off.
a bully is degrading and defaming their target. But rather than being blunt and saying,
“I can’t stand him, he’s batshit crazy and he belongs in the nuthouse!” the bully will instead say,
“I’m very concerned about him. I think he has a mental imbalance somewhere that hasn’t been addressed. I hope he gets the help he needs.”
The first version would make the bully sound like the person she truly is- a nasty old shrew! The second version sounds so much better and makes the bully look like a good person who’s genuinely concerned for the target.
Here’s another example:
A bully is putting her neighbor down. But rather than say,
“I’d like to catch her in the street and beat the living crap out of her and leave her to die!” which would make the bully sound like a vindictive and hateful bitch, she says,
“If she doesn’t change her attitude, I’m afraid someone’s going to hurt her really bad!”
Again, the second version sounds so much better because it shows concern rather than hatred for the target and it also makes the target look like she must be bringing the bad treatment on herself.
It’s not what you say. It’s how you say it and the nonverbal communication you use with it that makes all the difference. It’s too easy to bully someone without looking like a bully!
Believe it or not, if you’re a target, you know when you’re being bullied no matter how covert your bullies may be. The trick is to call it out in the early stages before the sneaky attacks become a habit or a set pattern.
Never let anyone grow too comfortable with abusing you. Once they do, the abuse will get so out of control that people won’t even try to hide it! And that’s when you will be in grave danger!
Again! Call it out in the early stages. It’s the only way you’ll be able to put a stop to it!