Bullies pour on the charm and have a natural talent at fooling the masses. They put on a façade with fake sincerity and false genuineness. Others think they know the bullies. “Oh, but they would never be so mean! They couldn’t hurt a fly!” You hear it all the time.
But understand that these people love the bullies not for who they are, but who they think they are. It’s only willful blindness at play.
Willful blindness protects people from seeing the ugly, awful truth and from heartbreak and disappointment- or, so we think. Bullies are willfully blind to their own evil selves. All people need to feel like they’re good and decent. But vicious people must fight twice as hard to feel that way.
Deep down inside, bullies know they do wrong, but they convince themselves that there’s justification for their evil behavior and that there are times when the rules don’t apply. Many are under the impression that their wrongdoing is just a means to an end.
Popular bullies think that they’ll get away with bullying their targets. And why not? They’ve had so much success with people, and all their past social endeavors have worked out for them. They think they have some magic formula that others don’t have. Therefore, they believe they are invincible and untouchable.
But understand that their “magic formula” is deception and manipulation. Bullies impress and charm all the right people, say all the right things at just the right times. Also, they purposely charm everyone but the target. The best way to turn others against someone is to put your best foot forward in front of others and show them your best side, all while showing your target your worst side.
But think about it. Domestic abusers do the same thing. There’ve been countless stories and testimonials from survivors of domestic violence. Stories of how everyone outside the family home- neighbors, coworkers, bosses, church leaders, congregation members- everyone thought the abuser was such an incredible person and that you couldn’t find anyone half as great as them. And they’d never in a million years believe that person was an abuser. People are often in shock and disbelief whenever the abuse finally comes to light.
If a person like this bullies you, hold on to hope because people of this nature always end up being exposed. Always. In the meantime, please write it down. Always document! Because without documentation, it didn’t happen.
Keep a written record! I can’t stress this enough!