Bullying crushes the target’s spirit. It sucks the joy out of life and reprograms the mind.
After a while, the person begins to believe the lies bullies tell him about himself and see himself through his bullies’ eyes. Therefore, he believes that maybe the bullies have a justifiable reason to bully him but can’t figure what it is.
As a result, the target will make extra efforts to explain himself more clearly, but to no avail. He clings to the hope that the bullies will go away through the small reprieves they may give him.
On the occasions bullies act friendly to him, the target’s hopes go up, and he forgets about the past. Next, they blindside the target with another brutal attack.
Understand that the bullies are using the age-old push and pull technique to keep the target trying to make friends out of them and trapped inside the bully/victim dynamic. And they do this to keep him confused- this is how bullies can maintain power over their targets.
Realize that if your bullies can keep your hopes up, it’s likely that you’ll feel compelled to keep jumping through hoops to prove yourself worthy.
Here’s how it goes: Bullies stop bullying you for a while, and once you let your guard down and begin feeling safe and confident again, BAM! Once again, they attack! Realize abusers do this deliberately!
Over time, bullying can cause these effects on the target:
1.Can no longer trust themselves to act on their own volition and spontaneity or make their own decisions
2. A state of being always on guard- hypervigilance
3. Uncertainty of how they come across to others
4. A loss of their zest for life
5. A false concern that something is wrong with them
6. Constantly replaying and reviewing bullying incidents to try and figure out what went wrong.
7. Increasing self-doubt
8. Loss of confidence
9. Having an internalized inner critic
10. Fear that they’re going crazy
11. A dreadful sense that time is passing and they’re missing out
12. A growing sense that they aren’t happy but should be
13. Being extra careful not to be or sound too sensitive
14. Second, guessing themselves
15. An overwhelming desire to escape and get away from the bullying environment
16. A belief that they can’t do anything right
17. Living in the future- “things will be better when I graduate, turn eighteen, get another job, move away, get married, have children,” etc.
18. A distrust in relationships
19. Loss of faith in humanity (the belief that all people are inherently evil and enjoy seeing others suffer)
20. Feeling discombobulated and off-balance
If bullies have you feeling these ways, get out of their element if you can. When you’re so hurt and perplexed that you cannot tell which end is up, you’re living in hell, and it’s no way to live. You deserve peace, happiness, and confidence. Go where you can flourish, and your spirit can get the nourishment it desperately needs.