As we all know, bullies are convincing liars. But what happens when they finally get called out on their lies and evil deeds. Let’s use scenarios to find out.
For example, you’re a target of bullying. You find out that the one friend you thought you could trust has been spreading your deepest secrets and spreading lies behind your back while only pretending to be your best buddy (This can apply to both school and workplace environments). When you confront her, here are her possible reactions.
1. She will deny it or, at the least, try to avoid the subject. How you’ll know she’s dishonest? She will change the subject by talking about a topic irrelevant to the issue while appearing to be busy doing a task. Girls are known for this.
2. She will become irate and go on a tirade. She may even yell and curse at you. She may turn it back on you and accuse you of being paranoid, crazy, a crybaby, etc. But understand that she only looks and sounds desperate when she does this. Know that this is just another dead giveaway, and most bullies get highly defensive when they’re afraid they’re busted.
Understand that most bullies will get loud. They scream, yell, and pound their fists, curse, and swear when they fear exposure. However, don’t let this scare you because the dramatics and theatrics they display only mean that the bullies are desperate!
3. She will lay guilt trips on you.
“Well, if you were my friend, you wouldn’t believe…”
“If you were a true friend to me, you wouldn’t even question my loyalty.”
Don’t buy that garbage. The person is just trying to make you feel guilty or trying to intimidate you into silence. If your so-called friend was the only person you told any secrets to or knows about your life outside of the school, workplace, or organization, it’s a safe bet they’re guilty. And if enough people tell you that she is saying things behind your back, especially people you’ve never met or had any dealings with or people who aren’t a threat to you, she’s guilty!
Example 2: You have a bully on your back, and you’ve finally had enough. You call him/her out on his/her bad behavior and begin speaking out about the abuse she dishes out.
1. She will escalate the harassment to either punish you or intimidate you and shut you down. Understand that the bully is afraid of being exposed, facing accountability, and losing face and will stop at nothing to silence you.
2. He will justify himself with full conviction.
“If you didn’t always make trouble, I wouldn’t have had to hurt you!”
“If you weren’t so stupid, I wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”
“You made me do it because you always do this when you should do that!”
“If you would just do this, I wouldn’t have to do that!”
“You won’t shut up, so you deserve it!”
Again, don’t believe a word of it! Continue to report the harassment. You must protect yourself by speaking just as loud and with just as much conviction as the bully. Make plenty of noise because the wheel that squeaks loudest gets the grease!
3. She will slander you to everyone who will listen to her and try to turn others against you. Again, understand that this bully is afraid of being exposed. So she spreads rumors and lies to discredit you by distracting others from her appalling and embarrassing behavior by making you look like the guilty party.
If the bully can make you look bad and turn everyone else against you, she reaps several benefits.
a. She can intimidate you into silence and avoid any future risks of exposure.
b. She can discredit you, make herself look like the victim, and, therefore, gain attention and sympathy from other people.
c. She can successfully cut you off from any support you might otherwise receive.
d. She gets the green light to bully you again later and with impunity.
e. She gets to move up the social ladder and win more friends and allies.
f. She gets the satisfaction of maintaining power, domination, and control over another person.
As goes the old political quote from World War II, “Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty.”
Understand that any smear campaign is designed to protect the guilty bullies from being exposed and shift blame onto innocent victims. It’s a tactic used since the beginning of time!
So, don’t shut up no matter what! Continue to call out the bullies’ behavior! And if they react like any of the above, tell them like it is.
“The tirade isn’t going to work anymore” or “Go ahead and lie all you want. Everybody knows this is only retaliation because I had the gall to expose your deplorable behavior! Right,(the bully’s name)? Is that what this is, (Bully’s name)?”
Be sure to say the bully’s name at the end of the above questions because that really shakes a bully when you put his/her name on it!
If the bully says, “No!” Tell her in a fast and short tone, “Oh, yes it is, and you know it, (Bully’s name)!”
Counter. Everything. She. Comes. Back with!