Why I Won’t Attend My 30th High School Reunion

If you’ve read this blog for long enough, I’m sure you can already guess the answer to that question. “Why not?” you may ask?

There are several reasons:

1.I’d be a fool if I ever trusted them again. And I’d be a damn fool to put myself into a situation where I’d either get sucked into any petty drama or worse- hurt! And if they expect any trust from me, it’s too late. They should’ve have earned it by acting better.

2. Most of my classmates haven’t changed a bit since high school. Many are still the same drama-filled buffoons they were in high school. Only they’ve gotten older and less attractive over the years. They’ve gone from being obnoxious and self-absorbed punks to being angry and bitter mid-lifers who are resentful and crotchety because their lives didn’t turn out like they had thought. And they wouldn’t think twice about causing harm if it meant they could relive the glory days of high school.

3. Also, at high school reunions, people tend to regress into kids again. This little gathering would only be an opportunity for most of the classmates to compare themselves and their lives with one another.

4. Most of them will probably be drinking excessively, which, at our age, equals unattractive, obnoxious, and stupid. And it also means a higher intolerance of liquor than the good old days and being hungover and puking the next day. No, thank you! ‘Not my scene!

5. The reunion would, more than likely, be nothing more than a circus of posturing, showboating, and one-upmanship, where, figuratively, all the women would only talk about who’s gotten fat, who’s got the most wrinkles, and who’s had facelifts, tummy tucks, and boob-jobs. The men would probably only brag about who’s made the most money, who has the most sex, and who can still achieve an erection. And I have no time to listen to a bunch of drunken, and middle-aged adults compare bank accounts, waist measurements, or penis sizes.

6. I forgive my classmates, yes. But it doesn’t mean I desire to play footsie with any of them. Again, many of them will probably be getting sloppy drunk and puking their guts out around a huge bonfire, and they will probably talk about the same boring crap over and over again. And I’ve got better things to do.

So, with that said, anytime you don’t feel safe going to a particular function, trust your instincts and don’t go!

If anyone tries to talk you into going to a gathering of any kind and you know specific people are going to be there- particularly people who’ve brought you drama and those you wouldn’t trust to shovel manure, there’s nothing wrong with rejecting the invite.

Self-care is of the utmost importance. And if going to any function means that you must be around people who’ve given you no reason to trust them, then you have not only a right, but an obligation to yourself not to go!

And if they get offended or angry with you for declining, all the more reason you shouldn’t go! Remember that your safety and peace of mind comes first!

28 thoughts on “Why I Won’t Attend My 30th High School Reunion

  1. I have never attended a reunion, but never thought about my reasons. Merely figured that if there was anyone I valued, I would keep in touch, at least via Christmas letters.

    • I hear you there. I’ve talked to many people who say their classmates weren’t anyone they wanted to keep up with and some were glad they never had to look at them again once they were out of school. Only a tiny fraction of people actually stayed in touch with theirs.

  2. I completely understand.

    Fortunately, I haven’t had this experience; my 10th and 20th reunions were both very pleasant experiences. My class seemed relatively low drama compared to the class reunion stereotype you describe (either that, or I’m just oblivious to it). It’s unfortunate that many people have not had this experience.

      • When I heard about the ten year reunion, I had my mother contact one of my school friends and tell them I was living in London so I wouldn’t be classed as “whereabouts unknown.” I don’t know if anything was said about that at the reunion, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if someone speculated that I was living in London’s biggest slum working at McDonald’s. I wasn’t.

  3. very well said . NOBODY WOULD GO BACK . i was bullied as a child .SOON AFTER THEN ABUSED .different adults took turns on me. people never see the every day efffects there views/judgements very Snotty Nosed ……….my blog.http;//mark-kent.webs.com twitter.supersnopper MARK

  4. Your description is spot on, so good.

    Despite the drawbacks, you go to reunions to hook up with an old flames or someone you always regretted not starting a flame with. Everybody knows this, did you not get the reunion handbook?

    • Bahahaha! I dated college aged guys when I was in high school- guys in their early to mid twenties because they were less gross and more mature. Back when I was in school, people didn’t frown as much on underage dating.

        • HAHAHA! There you go! But I already had the reputation at school. When you’re bullied in school like I was, you don’t have to do anything to get a bad rep. People are more than happy to ruin it for you. 🙂

          • It was. However, I’ve taken it and make that negative into a positive. I now blog, write books, and reach out to help those who are bullied today. So, in trying to tear me down, my classmates ended up setting me on my path and giving me a purpose- a life’s work. This is my life’s work and I enjoy it! So, I won out in the long run.

  5. Honestly I think reunions in this day and age are kind of ridiculous anyway. One, if someone wanted to keep up with me all these years, I am not hard to find. Two, with social media and smart phones you can locate 80 percent of the people you are interested in finding. At reunions a lot of times it is the same group that hangs out with one another that probably still sees each other on a regular basis anyway. I know there are exceptions but if they weren’t part of the clique in high school, no matter how successful they became people probably won’t talk to them much because they never really knew them. Plus it is basically an excuse to judge others and see who is doing well and who isn’t. Maybe the first one, the 10 year reunion there is a little bit of curiousity but after that pointless. You want to see them again? Friend them on social media or exchange phone numbers.

    • You’re so right about that, they are ridiculous. And your line, ” it is basically an excuse to judge others and see who is doing well and who isn’t.” is SPOT ON!

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