Sometimes, there’s a Good Reason to Fight

Many times throughout my life, I’ve heard people preach against fighting- and yes, even in self-defense. When I was being bullied- even physically so, I was often told by teachers and even the bullies themselves, “Violence doesn’t solve anything.”  Or, my personal favorite, “fighting isn’t lady-like.”

I’ve got news for these people- neither is getting your face beat in every day.

Be that as it may, fighting back was better than just standing there and taking the beatings. When you’re a target of bullying and you decide to stand up for yourself, there will be people who will climb up on their soapbox and insert their two cents where it doesn’t belong, telling you that “violence doesn’t solve anything,” and that “you shouldn’t stoop to their (the bullies’) level.”

You’ve heard the term, “All up in your Kool-Aid, and don’t know the flavor.” Yep! That’s where they’ll will be when you get enough of bullying and decide once and for all to take care of business.

However, what else do you do if you’re a kid at school getting their brains beat out every other day? Just stand there and allow yourself to be harmed over and over again?

All the time, targets get suspended or expelled from school when they finally defend themselves against a bully. After six months, eight months, two years, or even five years of being mercilessly bullied and trying to handle it through nonviolent means, only to be called a wuss and beat up more, the target finally gets fed up and beats the living crap out of a bully.

Now everyone’s surprised and outraged! Not at the bully, but at the target! But where was their outrage when the target was getting their body pummeled without provocation? Where was their outrage when the shoe was on the other foot? Where was their humanity when the target cried out for help?

If you’re in school and you’re a target of bully. These questions are those you should ask the school authorities, bystanders, and anyone who gets offended by your defending yourself. Know that you’re just as good as the next person. Know that you have the same rights as anyone else- including your bullies. And know that you have the right to defend yourself anytime you’re threatened with physical harm.

Understand that this is a part of self-care. It’s true that fighting isn’t always the answer but sometimes, bullies will leave you no other choice.

So, if you’ve tried everything else, know that you must do what you must to keep yourself safe. And if it means putting up your dukes and getting froggy, so be it.

It’s sad when a target must fight all the time to keep themselves from being harmed but I don’t hold it against anyone who fights back under those circumstances because you have to take care of yourself or no one else will.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

9 thoughts on “Sometimes, there’s a Good Reason to Fight

  1. It was almost humorous, my son had been transferred to an alternative school to finish out the year, due to his standing up for himself. Not long after the transfer, a bully walked by him thumping him on the back of the ear. My son, who had by that time several years of Tae Kwon Do and gained several levels of belt, immediately out of reflex swung around and nearly kicked the guy in the head. Immediate respect, he had no problems after that while in that school. Even the instructors were amazed and thrilled at the change in so many of the students due to one move. Some times, you simply have to prove a point.

    • This is AWESOME, Rebecca! I’m so proud of your son! And I’m laughing now because I can just see the change in the bully and everyone else! That bully decided he didn’t want anymore of that! LOLOL Kudos to you for having him enrolled in Martial Arts, and kudos to your son for whipping that booty!!!

  2. Pingback: Sometimes, there’s a Good Reason to Fight – Tonya LaLonde

  3. I’ve not shared this story, because in a way I don’t condone it, but it worked for me…

    In middle school, girls bullied me harshly because I didn’t know English. They would take to shoving me, so I’d fight them instantly! One shove and my fist was flying to their face. This made them back away– because they didn’t want to be in detention or suspended, and I became that “wild crazy girl.” Saved me from physical bullying (though not verbal) and I never got into fist fights in high school.

    (Mind you, it was middle school and girls, so we couldn’t do much damage. The boys, some of which grew pretty darn big, could and would do a lot of damage to each other.)

    I guess it worked for me, though? It was just a bad situation all around, and I didn’t know how to deal with it any other way. My parents were largely absent, so I had to figure it out on my own. I’m glad you’ve spoken about this!

    • Absolutely! I’m sorry you had to fight but I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself.

      I don’t condone violence but when you’ve exhausted all nonviolent efforts and they still insist on using you as a punching bag, then it’s time to throw up your fists and take care of business. As much as you hate to, sometimes you can save yourself so much trouble by socking the bully in the nose.

  4. I’ve been there and done that! Whenever I tried to fight back against the bullies, I was made out to be the aggressor and ended up in trouble even though I never started it.

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