Is Low Self-Esteem Something We’re Born With?


No! Insecurity and a lack of confidence are not characteristics that we’re born with. They are taught! Not only by bullies or abusive family members but can also unwittingly programmed into us by caring family members who call themselves trying to teach us humbleness and humility.

These characteristics are both good virtues to have, but only in moderation. Too much of it, however, can cause us to suppress a little too much of ourselves and hide our own awesome personalities, talents, and gifts, which can grow into insecurity and in worse cases, self-loathing.

I believe that each and every one of us is born with confidence and a heart of gold. Yet over time, our environments, circumstances, and sadly, the people in our lives can slowly erode the natural confidence and goodness we were born with.


After being hurt for so long, we withdraw from others and put up a barrier to protect ourselves. We turn cold and began to harden ourselves to numb feelings of rejection and the pain that comes with it.

Before long, we regard the feelings and suffering of others with indifference- we just don’t give a crap about anyone, how they feel, or what they think. Sometimes we even grow cold toward the people who love us because we have lost the ability to trust.

We no longer have any respect for others, much less ourselves. We end up doing and saying things that only further degrade ourselves and others. Lastly, we come to that evil place where schadenfreude takes hold of our personalities and we secretly or openly, take pleasure in seeing others, especially those we despise, suffer.

Just as we take steps to protect our health, finances, property, etc.; we must also take steps to protect our self-esteem. Self-esteem determines our life course. Therefore, we should guard it as we would our lives.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

26 thoughts on “Is Low Self-Esteem Something We’re Born With?

  1. The worst thing my mother ever said to me, and she would swear not to remember (I asked). I was being bullied and told her, she told me, “Just agree with them and they will shut up.” And there the door was opened and I’ve been struggling to close it ever since. Getting closer though.

    • My heart goes out to you, Rebecca. I can relate because I was fed that same line myself, not by my mother, but by a few others who didn’t know what they were talking about.

      • I know she meant no harm, but that is exactly what she created because at the age I was then, I didn’t understand what was wrong with that statement. But when my son began being bullied, I knew exactly what not to say and we went a totally different route. Covering much of the bullies seek their strength by stealing yours. It took him a while to understand, but he eventually did, even though it didn’t make it a lot easier for a young boy.

  2. Pingback: Is Low Self-Esteem Something We’re Born With? – Tonya LaLonde

      • Do meeting of people is dependent on us.. Or it’s just a gods game Or so called destiny…, can we do whatever we want.. Or do people who really care or who are good for us will remain with us… ?

        • I think some people are divinely put in our paths for a reason, to either enhance our lives or to teach us something. Some people are blessings and some are lessons. If people we meet try to hurt us and turn out to be lessons, it’s up to us whether we keep them in our lives. I think we do have a certain amount of freedom to do whatever we want, but there are limits to that. For instance, we don’t have the power to teleport or travel back in time. And yes, I think the people who care about us and are good for us are meant to stay in our lives until the date of death.

          • Yes.. You are right… But do people are wrong or circumstances made them so..?
            Thankyou from the bottom of my heart…. For giving me yours valuable time.. And sharing your wisdom.. 🙂

          • I think it can be a little bit of both. People can be wrong and make excuses of having a hard life. But I also think that people can be forced to do wrong. For instance, if someone is trying to kill you and you end up killing them in self-defense. So, it can be both.

          • Yes .. They make excuses lf having a hard life, I think if you are willing to have something than we must be willing to do efforts for the same…. But people are not so … They think every thing is free…

          • You said that right! There are many people today that are too lazy to put in the effort and think that they’re entitled to a free ride. It’s pathetic.

          • Haha… That’s true.. Yet they don’t deserve the ride… It causes harm to the other who is trying to manage things on his hand alone.. ..

          • We’re doing quite well. Though the mainstream media would have you believe differently. I don’t have to wear masks when I’m out and neither do most of the people in my area. So, we’re good.

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