Month: May 2021

Today’s Quote

/ cheriewhite / Leave a comment

“She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself.”

~ Anais Nin ~

Low Self-Esteem Isn’t Something We’re Born With, It’s Taught.

/ cheriewhite / 14 Comments

Insecurity and a lack of confidence are not characteristics that we’re born with. They are taught! Not only by bullies or abusive family members but can also unwittingly programmed into us by caring family members who call themselves trying to teach us humbleness and humility.

These characteristics are both good virtues to have, but only in moderation. However, too much of it can cause us to suppress a little too much of ourselves and hide our own awesome personalities, talents, and gifts, which can grow into insecurity and, in worse cases, self-loathing.

a little girl hiding behind her mother’s skirt

I believe that each and every one of us is born with confidence and a heart of gold. Yet over time, our environments, circumstances, and sadly, the people in our lives can slowly erode the natural confidence and goodness we were born with.

After being hurt for so long, we withdraw from others and put up a barrier to protect ourselves. We turn cold and began to harden ourselves to numb feelings of rejection and the pain that comes with it.

Young girl bending down, covering her face with her hands, trying to protect herself from men’s’ fists, finger guns, and hands pointing at her. Women’s rights. Violence against women. Domestic violence.

Before long, we regard others’ feelings and suffering with indifference- we just don’t give a crap about anyone, how they feel, or what they think. Sometimes we even grow cold toward the people who love us because we have lost the ability to trust.

We no longer have any respect for others, much less ourselves. Lastly, we come to that evil place where schadenfreude takes hold of our personalities, and we secretly or openly take pleasure in seeing others, especially those we despise, suffer.

We must make a conscious effort not to allow negative outside influences to make us cold and mean. Just as we take steps to protect our health, finances, property, etc., we must also take steps to protect our self-esteem. And we do that by how we allow others to treat us- by setting boundaries and standards.

The Best Is Yet to Come! Please Hold On!

/ cheriewhite / 12 Comments

To those of you who are being bullied now. Although intense- even unbearable, your pain will only be temporary, and I do not say this lightly. I know what you must be thinking… “But she doesn’t understand! Nobody understands! She’s isn’t going through it, and she doesn’t understand the hell I go through every day at work or at school!”

I understand because once upon a time, I was stuck in the same spot that you are in today. I know what it is like to want to smile, laugh, sing, and dance and have it beaten out of you. I understand the pain of wanting to believe in yourself and see your own value, only to have others repeatedly and seemingly deliberately drum into your head that you are nothing.

To want to speak and have your voice heard, only to be silenced with the threat of either physical harm, further degradation and humiliation, suspension, the loss of your job and livelihood, or the threat of having opportunities for future employment ruined! I know all too well the feeling of wanting to move forward and go places, only to have bullies hold you back.

To want to escape the torment, only to be stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will! I know the horror of having your very existence cursed by others and to be bombarded with death threats.

To be forced to sacrifice your own needs and wants for the satisfaction of others! To see others getting gratification and entertainment- all at your expense. I know what it’s like to be marginalized, shut out, devalued as a person, even slapped, kicked, beaten, scorned, disregarded, walked on!

It is a feeling of being run over by a truck, whose driver then stops, throws it into reverse, and backs over you again. Then the driver shifts back into drive and mows over you- yet again. Then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”

And any signs of life- any whimper or movement only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and back over you again- just keep running and backing over you until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is what being a target of bullying is like. Bullies want to destroy you, and it seems that they won’t relent until they are sure that they have done just that.

But know this. You will not have to deal with these people forever, and Karma does repay- in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy, and your bullies won’t even matter to you when you reach success.

You are beautiful! You are smart! You are awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you- unconditionally- just for being YOU! And you will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the good you bring to the table and view you as the asset you truly are!

Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

“Toxic Masculinity” is a BS Term

/ cheriewhite / 27 Comments

Bullying and gaslighting do not just happen to individuals in a school, workplace or community. It happens to entire nations and populations.

Lately, I’ve been hearing the term, “toxic masculinity” and truthfully, it is a term used to gaslight the masses into believing that all men who assume what is considered a strong, masculine role in society are bad people. This painted up, intellectual sounding term is also used to guilt men into toning down their masculinity or manliness.

It brainwashes many men into shirking their responsibilities. In short, the Radical Left uses the term to weaken the men of the free world ever-so-subtly. “Toxic Masculinity” is such a divisive and mendacious term designed to bait people into hating and resenting men who are awesome leaders in their churches, communities, and those who are father-figures.

Newborn baby booties in parents hands. Pregnant woman belly.

In no way, shape, or form am I suggesting that toxic men don’t exist because they do. Sure, there are men who are abusive to their partners and families. But to make out that all men are toxic is, in and of itself, sexist, unfair, and ignorant.

There are great men in the West and, believe me, these men look down on and despise the toxic men who are abusive to women and to their families. An abusive man is not a real man and there are abusive women as well.

Allow me to break it down and tell you what the goal behind the use of this “toxic” term really is:

To kill anything, you must cut off the head.

Men are ordained by God to be the head of the family and household. A good, responsible, hard-working man is the rock of the family. Not only does he keep order in the family, but he also provides for and protects them. This is how humanity has survived for thousands of years.

Take the man (the head) out of the family and you weaken the entire family! And to weaken an entire country or civilization, you start with weakening the family unit. It’s a process that happens so slowly and in such tiny bites that you won’t even know what’s happening until after it’s gotten so far out of control.

Everything starts with the family unit and ripples outward over time. Over decades, we have, ever-so-slowly and subtly, normalized divorce and single parenthood.

In that,

You normalize laziness in men.

You normalize parents giving their sons everything and take away their incentive to work for a living.

You encourage men to became more feminized.

You mass-incarcerate men (especially black men) for the most trivial of offenses to take them away from, and ultimately weaken their families!

Do you see where I’m going with this?

Understand that I’m not judging anyone who is divorced or is single and raising a family. My mother was divorced and a single parent as was I for a few years. For one parent to do a job for two parents is hard as hell and I salute all the single parents out there.

The point I’m making is this: Many of us are now recognizing a system which is out to destroy us. What has slowly unfolded over several decades only weakens the male population of The West and that’s what the Left and countries like China (yep! I said it!) want in order to destroy Western Civilization- freedom.

As I mentioned earlier, the best way to destroy a civilization is through the family unit and the best way to destroy the family unit is to take out the head of the family or simply, the father and any future fathers, by weakening them.

If this isn’t a form of bullying, I don’t know what is. To weaken someone or a group of people is to reduce or take away their personal power- to create an imbalance of power for the purpose of wussifying a population so that the corruptors- the biggest bullies of the world- can take control, dominate, and bully at will.

With knowledge comes empowerment!