Excuses People Make for Bullies


As we know, bullies are very practiced and convincing liars and have a flair for using charm to deceive bystanders and authority.

Understand that this “charm” bullies often display is fake. It is all a part of the smokescreen they put up to hoodwink people, cover up bad behavior, and avoid accountability. In short, bullies are only actors and actresses.

Here is a list of excuses that bystanders and authorities often make for the bully anytime a victim reports them for their appalling behavior.

“That’s just his personality.”

“He was only joking.”

“She’s only expressing herself.”


“He just has a very strong personality.”

“She’s going through a hard time right now.”

“But he’s really a good person, he’s just having issues right now.”

“She’s just having problems at home.”

“He’s just being himself.”

“But he’s so well-liked and well mannered. Why would he bully someone like you?”

“But she’s so sweet and everyone loves her. She wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“But they’re just good kids who made a bad mistake.”


These are a few examples of how others justify and condone the bully’s behavior.

Don’t fall for it! Call them what they are- BULLIES! Never accept any excuse. It’s true that retaliation may follow.

However, stay strong and know that you don’t have to tolerate atrocious behavior from anyone! You have rights. And you have a right to be safe and to live in a healthy environment. Those are non-negotiables!

Lastly, always remember that it’s not your fault and the harassment isn’t about you. It’s about the bullies’ issues!

6 thoughts on “Excuses People Make for Bullies

  1. All of these are true but in my case, I, as the victim, was always blamed for being bullied. One of the most used line was it was because I was so weird or I ‘invite’ trouble.

  2. I also heard this excuse often: “They must have a terrible life and hate themselves, that’s why they bully you.”

    Um, no. My bullies were, by any measure, quite happy, healthy, and wealthy. They seemed content with themselves and laughed often. They were popular, with many friends, and one had a slick convertible in high school. They got excellent grades. I was the one with a bad home life, poor, and sickly.

    • I’m sorry to hear that, sweetie. The bullies you described were the narcissistic type. Narcissistic bullies are arrogant and sadistic. They often enjoy bringing others down and get off on the power they have over others. Many of them have God-complexes.

      • Thank you for the kind words 🙂 You also described them exactly! God complexes with plenty of “worshippers,” because they were mean but beautiful, so they got plenty of kids fawning over them.

        That confused me a lot about high school, because the guys could be jerks too… but as long as they were handsome, they got a pass!

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