Although I’m female and have discussed bullying mainly from a female perspective, I would like to help you distinguish between the plights of bullied girls and bullied boys. Wishing everyone peace, health, love, and happiness!
In the female target case, after having been bullied by her peers and reporting it to school staff and even members of her own family, only to be rebuffed, ignored, or blamed, she feels alone in the world and that no one understands her.
Bullied girls are shamed in their looks, femininity, and virtues. They are called names like “hoe,””whore,” “slut”, and often shamed about their weight and their appearance. Even sadder is the reality that if their self-esteem is low enough, some live up to the names they’re called.
Consequently, as a result of not feeling loved by family and or her peers, she is more likely to use the only thing she feels she has left to offer- her sex appeal. Some bullied girls turn to sexual/dating partners to get the love and approval they’re missing out on and crave so badly. This usually does not end well.
For boys, however, it can be much worse. In most cases, boys don’t have the option to use the opposite sex as a Band-Aid for their emotional needs. Boys are expected to be strong and tough…to display manhood. The bullied boy has been emasculated all too often, and he sees no way to reclaim his manhood.
In essence, his bullies will do everything in their power to strip him of “manhood” and feminize him. Male targets are often called “sissy,” “pussy”, “bitch” and other names that attack masculinity and cause them to feel less like men.
Also, it’s considered un-macho for a boy to report being bullied. Oftentimes, young men who complain of being bullied are referred to by others as a “whiner” and told to “toughen up,” “suck it up,” or “man up” because they’re going against what is perceived as “man-code.” This can also erode male self-esteem.
Once a young man is stripped of his manhood, it’s next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. Although the suicide rate among females has skyrocketed, It remains to be much higher in males.
No matter what, we must encourage bullied males to speak out and report bullies who torment them. We must also encourage them to seek therapy. Males must also have older males in their lives who remind them of their worth as men and re-enforce it.
Females must be encouraged to speak out and get help, as well. And they must also have older female role models who instill in them that they are just as good, just as whole, and just as beautiful without a boyfriend and that it’s okay to be alone.