Bullied Boys and Bullied Girls

Although I’m female and have discussed bullying mainly from a female perspective, I would like to help you distinguish between the plights of bullied girls and bullied boys. Wishing everyone peace, health, love, and happiness!

In the female target case, after having been bullied by her peers and reporting it to school staff and even members of her own family, only to be rebuffed, ignored, or blamed, she feels alone in the world and that no one understands her.

Bullied girls are shamed in their looks, femininity, and virtues. They are called names like “hoe,””whore,” “slut”, and often shamed about their weight and their appearance. Even sadder is the reality that if their self-esteem is low enough, some live up to the names they’re called.

Consequently, as a result of not feeling loved by family and or her peers, she is more likely to use the only thing she feels she has left to offer- her sex appeal. Some bullied girls turn to sexual/dating partners to get the love and approval they’re missing out on and crave so badly. This usually does not end well.

For boys, however, it can be much worse. In most cases, boys don’t have the option to use the opposite sex as a Band-Aid for their emotional needs. Boys are expected to be strong and tough…to display manhood. The bullied boy has been emasculated all too often, and he sees no way to reclaim his manhood.

In essence, his bullies will do everything in their power to strip him of “manhood” and feminize him. Male targets are often called “sissy,” “pussy”, “bitch” and other names that attack masculinity and cause them to feel less like men.

Also, it’s considered un-macho for a boy to report being bullied. Oftentimes, young men who complain of being bullied are referred to by others as a “whiner” and told to “toughen up,” “suck it up,” or “man up” because they’re going against what is perceived as “man-code.” This can also erode male self-esteem.

Once a young man is stripped of his manhood, it’s next to impossible for him to get a date and find love. Although the suicide rate among females has skyrocketed, It remains to be much higher in males.

bullied victim crying tears

No matter what, we must encourage bullied males to speak out and report bullies who torment them. We must also encourage them to seek therapy. Males must also have older males in their lives who remind them of their worth as men and re-enforce it.

Females must be encouraged to speak out and get help, as well. And they must also have older female role models who instill in them that they are just as good, just as whole, and just as beautiful without a boyfriend and that it’s okay to be alone.

14 thoughts on “Bullied Boys and Bullied Girls

  1. This reminds me of the Netflix series 13 reasons why that kind of delved into bullying of both girls and boys…it’s really a terrible ordeal for any kid to go through such unnecessary trauma in their adolescent years

  2. Pingback: Bullied Boys and Bullied Girls – Tonya LaLonde

  3. It took my son getting out of public school and finishing his education in the local college. When he earned his HS diploma there you could already see changes in him. When he went on to a trade college and graduated Dean’s Honor Roll he was an entirely different person. He had found an inner strength that so many had tried to destroy. There was a long rough road before that though, when he really tried but was denied at every turn. I feel for those who are in the same situation.

    • I completely get that, Rebecca. I was in the same boat until I wished schools and my son went through a stint of it until we transferred him and got him the hell out of there. You’ve heard the phrase, “vote with your feet.” Sometimes you must do the talking with your feet.

  4. I know how it feels to be a young teen and being bullied. I was teased constantly about my name.
    Also, I wasn’t a “jock”, so I was bullied because I did not excel in any sports and wasn’t interested in any sport on television.
    Then going home meant even more hassle and it came to a point I would ask the question, “why was I born?”
    It changed when I started to make good on my piano and organ playing. That led me to being asked to travel with a preacher/evangelist. I felt I was doing what I was suppose to do in my life.

    • That’s awesome, Dwain. Finding your purpose in life is so important because it can drive away depression. Also, I believe that lack of purpose is a huge factor in depression because many don’t know what their purpose here is. I didn’t know my purpose at the time I was battling depression. Many people who are depressed have been so abused and beaten down that they have no self-esteem. And low self-esteem leads to not knowing your purpose. Not knowing your purpose means the feeling of wandering in the dark blindly without a path. That’s hell in and of itself.

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