Former Bullies Who Deny The Abuse They Inflicted

bullies denial

It’s because they feel dirty. That’s right! Any time bullies and abusers must face the reality of any past abuse they may have inflicted on someone else, deep down inside, though they would never admit it to themselves much less you or anyone else, they feel like a piece of scum. And in order to not feel dirty, they must live in denial of what they did. It’s the only way they can bury their sins and still feel good about themselves.

My former classmates who bullied me, are no different. Denial is a useful psychological defense, and it does have benefits.

Many bullies deny their abuse because of their hatred for the victim, and they wish to reduce sympathy and support for the victim. They will claim that the violence a victim speaks of is either invented or exaggerated to either get attention or to make others feel sorry for him/her.

Sometimes, even bystanders and witnesses will side with the bullies and deny the abuse to keep from being bullied themselves or because they too have a secret hatred for the victim. Bystanders and witnesses may also want the bullying of the victim to continue for entertainment purposes. Believe it or not, many witnesses to the abuse enjoy seeing the victim get bullied because, to them, it is a source of entertainment and makes them feel superior to somebody.

bullies feeling dirty denial

Also, bystanders may feel dirty as well because they know they didn’t speak out for the victim when they should have, or the bullying may be something they would like to have done to the victim themselves but didn’t have the guts.

Understand that the psyches and egos of humans are very fragile, even those of bullies. So, any time your abuser denies any abuse they know they dished out to you in the past, you don’t have to feel angry or insulted. You don’t have to try and force them to fess up. Because just knowing why they deny it and the nastiness they feel inside when they see you should be enough satisfaction.

So, if you’re a survivor of bullying and anytime you’re out shopping, and see one of the people who bullied you in the past; and you immediately notice how they turn and walk away or avoid looking at you. Know why they do that and feel good about it.

I can tell you that most of my classmates can’t face me today. They cannot bear to look at me because they know what they did, and they feel so dirty. I am a reminder of what they never want to see in themselves, and I always provoke feelings of shame in them. Therefore, I can’t get angry at them, nor feel insulted. There’s no need for revenge, nor to hate them because, in the end, they are the ones who must live with what they did.

Always remember that!

16 thoughts on “Former Bullies Who Deny The Abuse They Inflicted

  1. It was a new school year, it was sixth grade, and I was new to the school and somewhat instantly popular, though I was intensely shy. There was a clique of three guys, the leader started fighting with me before class one morning. He wasn’t much, and I could have whipped him, but I was worried that if I did, his cronies would join the fight and I’d suffer the worse for it. So I let him win. They continued their intimidations for a while when it finally ended, against me. I saw him, years later as an adult, filthy and disheveled, a drunken beggar on the street. Right or wrong, I took pleasure in that. Sometimes people get what they deserve.

    • I completely agree, Peter. They do. I’m sorry a few so-called toughies wanted to harass you. But yes, it sounds like Karma visited him later. Many of my former bullies didn’t fare well in life either.

  2. Cherie…I love this great overview of a huge societal illness and how you explained extremely well like I’ve actually never heard it before! And isn’t this what the Dem party with its highly partisan leaders who are so down and dirty getting up opponents for a fall with any trick in the book many of the attacks hey carry out actually cold be classified as violations of RICO though not the Mafia Mob, this offending group is a Political Mob because they are highly organized and criminal in their conduct but nobody seems to get this; the way I do or admit it. Perhaps because I was targeted in this way by Dems and others in their inner circle as in, even Freemasons; and say for example how especially the weaponzied accusations, the political weapon of choice which is actually a lie concocted to have an appearance of validity by means of perjury, conspiracy and other nefarious clandestine actions all propelled with so much finesse behind it propagated by a biased MSM and other powerful crony influencers like they did to Trump and how Adam the Liar Schiff was able to get away with running everyone in circles with his concocted fantasy narrative on reality; a template used with Fusion GPS and the subsequent and Fraudulent Steele Dossier!

    This is exactly what the German Nazi Gestapo designed with its propaganda minister Goebbels during WWII to destroy any opponent and accuse, accuse, accuse the opposition of all the crimes you are doing to then deny, deny, deny till the cows come home! Old lessons learned well by the nefarious among us; and of course including the Dem/Commie party which is loaded or I should say infested with these low life scums! How did we all allow this garbage to seep into our internal government apparatus to this extent; where we have a nut job like Omar that can talk and say things right in our Congress to the world that not many years ago would put a person in prison where they belong for being an enemy of the Nation! AKA in this case being the Real Deal McCarthyism on steroids; subversives using of tactics involving personal attacks on an individual or group by quite nefarious but here overt means of widely publicized and inherently false allegations that are especially damning, and, propagated on the basis of unsubstantiated charges; creating an absolute defamation of character or reputation by which such tactics result in actual character assignation! And as I refer here to Omar, her actually being a blatant out in the open anti-Semitic hate fomenter within this corrupt Dem party gets away with murder.

    Is it too late to kick some butt and fix this mess or are we headed for totally the land of Helter-Skelter, it doesn’t look good for the good guys anymore!

    Just for laughs I wrote this about post Plan-Demic possibilities last year.

    • You’ve got some great points here, Lawrence. I’ll definitely read your links. I don’t believe that all hope is gone. We have many “good-guys” who are working behind the scenes too and they’re doing everything they can to reverse this evil. I believe that we will emerge victorious, but it’s going to take a while. Remember that the people have to be brought to the precipice and they have to see what’s going on. You cannot just tell them because it’s much easier to fool a person than it is to convince them that they’ve been fooled. So, all this is playing out to wake up the masses I believe. Sure, there will be some who are so resistant that they’ll never wake up. However, they are only a small few I think. Thank you so much for the info you’ve provided. God bless you!

      • Let’s look at this Cherie!
        “I don’t believe that all hope is gone. We have many “good-guys” who are working behind the scenes too and they’re doing everything they can to reverse this evil. I believe that we will emerge victorious, but it’s going to take a while. Remember that the people have to be brought to the precipice and they have to see what’s going on.”

        When I was an eternal optimist basically all of my life up till a dozen of more years ago that was my speech to anyone and everyone experiencing hardship or sadness being a good coach or advocate to as many as I could and I still do hidden from view do that on a face to face basis.
        But now in this Cyber World I tend to be more of the Devil’s Advocate to let’s say not help people be complacent so I put a flame under their asses or some sand in their eyes to give a bit of the ole shock treatment or One Two Punch get the point across in a hurry! Oh and I’m pissed off too that’s the other reason I vent it that way; LOL!

        But yes what you said here in quotes is the actual real deal thinking I have too, under all the outer layers of blisters I acquired from people rubbing me the wrong way and even attacking me Big Time!

        All in all this is the only way to look at it day to day the way You Say; because if not then why bother pushing on forward to defeat?

        So the funny thing is today I had something pop out at me Big Time and it was no accident which I was prompted to do something with, outside of my usual box that I’m thinking in too much lately; and guess what it links to what you said here 100% I do believe! In a roundabout funny way mind you!!! The song will do some good!
        God bless you!

        • Thank you so much, Lawrence. I completely understand because I’ve been there. Life does have a way of making us cynical. I used to be the biggest cynic of all but when I realized that my cynicism was making my life a lot worse than what it could be. I trained my mind to be more positive. In no way am I suggesting that you’re a negative person, I’m not. But sometimes, looking on the bright side keep insanity at bay. 🙂

          I’ll check out the link! Thank you for sharing it.

          • Thank you for sharing the fine observations and insights they are all Spot-On for sure! I’ve had a lot of practice at all of this and insanity will never get in; I built a hard shell against that ever happening with a lifetime of learning and practice but the faith is the key for me! I know God in a very certain way and nothing is going to ever break me, nothing! The only thing that could is God and I know He will never do that to me. He may allow me to get burned or feel uncomfortable but that is all the more tempering in the flame of love, truth and justice! Those are my weapons and shield that protect me from anything: any contrivances or earthly man-made weapons!

            See the dangerous thing about people getting used to just looking at the Brightside which is really actually only in heaven, but there really always is one here in a spiritual sense regardless of our dilemma, even when the shit is stacking up to the ceiling; people can get off track and actually not see the forest for the trees becoming self-hypnotized or deluded so that is something to keep in mind at all times with that looking at the brighter and bigger picture! We after all are in a fallen realm filled with sin, death and destruction that are all around us and happening continuously; imperfection with extreme prejudice that has the upper hand if we aren’t vigilant!

            And so that is reality that we’re in a place where far too much lip service is given and not enough substantive truth and honesty! Reality and seeing it in all its true form is our friend; make a friend of reality and you have a friend for life! We are strangers in a strange land until we get home!

            We’ve all played the game and like fools clued to a TV Screen allow the junk to fill and permeate our inner mono-log and outer behavior going along to get long just like the majority of sheeple did while listening to all those experts and the science; going on living irrationally with masks on for the evil Plan-Demic that murdered countless numbers of people and ruined economies with nobody being locked up for those atrocities! Just like all the crimes that went unpunished and still are in our government by the highest officials; because devils are allowed to pull punches here with all of us in this two tier justice system facade, and nobody here is going to stop that; not going to happen, no panacea or utopia, not even a close facsimile is possible; forget that! The crazy Freemason Pope a heretic, the fakest ever peddles such delusion just attempting to mesmerize the sheeple like our Puppet POTUS is doing thinking in riddles and leftist madness!
            Come on; obviously the emperor has no cloths!

            God bless you.

            Brother in Christ Jesus,
            Lawrence Morra III

  3. Pingback: Former Bullies Who Deny The Abuse They Inflicted – Tonya LaLonde

  4. Even so, some bullies won’t deny it but try to wear it as some sick ‘badge of honour.’ In my case, I’m sort of glad I don’t see any of those bullies ever because those in the town where it all happened would challenge me to prove I was so badly bullied in court.

  5. This is spot on. I was a late bloomer, had my boobs in my freshman year at university. All my high school days there is this guy who tormented me for being flat chested. Four years of harrasment, it did a number on my self-esteem. I bumped into him in 2018 and he couldn’t even look me.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.