Here is something which does not get mentioned enough. Often, when a girl is singled out for bullying, she is left wide open for sexual harassment. The harassment can range from inappropriate and embarrassing comments to unwanted physical touching. Though I’m female and am writing this post from a female perspective, I do realize that this can happen to bullied young men as well.
I cannot tell you how many stories I’ve heard from other female victims and survivors of bullying, nor can I tell you how many times I was subjected to this type of behavior myself when I was in junior high and high school.
Young creeps on the bus, in the halls or the lunch line, would sneakily run a hand up my skirt, put their hands on my behind and other such disgusting acts.
As any woman or girl knows, having sexual comments hurled at you and being groped and felt up leaves you feeling cheap and violated. And your first thought is to blame yourself. You wonder what you did to bring it about.
“Was my dress too short?”
“Were my jeans too tight?”
“Did I have on too much makeup?”
Even worse is when other girls blame you, assuming that you “must have done something to make him do it”- that somehow, you “asked for it.”
Such incidences can attract the ire of the guys’ jealous girlfriends, and these girlfriends will accuse you of trying to steal their boyfriends while the pig who violated you walks away free as a bird. This only doubles the victimization! It’s no different from what a rape victim goes through!
Bullied girls can also be sexually harassed by other girls as well, only in different ways. Girls harass other girls by verbal means, making statements such as,
“Nobody will $%#! you.”
“I’ll bet you’re still a virgin, aren’t you?”
”You’d $%&# anything that moves!”
These are only a few. I’ve heard worse. Sometimes, the other girls will encourage the boys to harass the victim sexually, then turn it around on her, calling her a whore, slut, floozy- take your pick.
In school, I knew another bullied girl who others referred to as “Tuna Fish.” I’ll say no more.
Understand that any time a female is the object of bullying, she has comments and remarks directed at her which are unspeakable- so horrible and explicit that you don’t dare repeat them by mouth, much less write it in a book or article.
There is no limit to the low that bullies won’t sink. They can be inventive to the raunchiest, raciest, dirtiest, most vile, hurtful and demeaning comments and actions. And anyone who hasn’t been on the receiving end of such would be shocked if they heard or saw some of the things a bullied girl has.
Understand that bullies show a side to their targets they would never in a million years show to anyone else.
Objects of bullying witness firsthand the shocking evil and cruelty of which people are capable, and they see the absolute darkest sides of the human character.
Bullies are experts at fooling bystanders and authority. They are highly skilled at manipulating a social infrastructure.
Bullies are also very aware that if the victim reports such abuse, others will not believe her because the same bullies have meticulously ruined her once good reputation. And who’s going to take the word of someone with a notoriously bad name?
Understand that bullies will only show the worst sides of their characters to their victims and no one else. Why? Because to bullies, the victim is both inferior and powerless.
When a person believes that you are inferior and powerless, they could care less about what you think of them. As far as they’re concerned, any opinions you have are irrelevant. Whereas, anyone the bullies see as equals or superiors will only see the best sides of their character.
With that said, if you are a bullied female, I want you to know with every fiber of your being that it isn’t your fault. Know that you never asked for that kind of behavior, nor brought any of it on yourself.
So if you are bullied and endure sexual harassment, do not take any blame for it and for goodness sake, don’t be afraid to report it! Know that bullying will not last forever. When I became an adult, the bullying stopped, and I am now very well-liked, loved, and respected.
I want you to know that this is only one chapter in your life, not the entire book. You too can overcome and move on to love, happiness, and success. Just don’t give up! You are beautiful! You are a great person despite what others may tell you or how they may treat you.
You are worth fighting for! You are worth living for!