Targets of Bullying and Social Anxiety

After being bullied for so long, targets can develop social anxiety. They withdraw from people because they fear future attacks. The target’s spirit has been beaten down and broken and the person has been abused to the point of losing faith in humanity. Also, they’re reprogrammed to believe the bullies’ lies that they aren’t worthy of love and friendship. They are under the presumption that it’s much safer not to engage in any social interaction.

But what the target doesn’t realize is that in closing himself off from the rest of the world, he unknowingly limits himself in all aspects of life.

Humans were created to socialize and to have relationships. When targets create this invisible fortress around them, it doesn’t ensure their safety but only brings about more bullying. Bullies get their power from our fear. They are like ferocious animals who can smell fear from a mile away and believe me. They take full advantage.

Moreover, targets miss out on relationships that, otherwise, could be and would be fulfilling and rewarding. They unwittingly forego opportunities for friendship, dating, even good jobs that can produce personal success and financial well-being. Because if a person doesn’t believe in themselves, no one else will- that includes potential friends, dates, and company managers and supervisors. No one wants to be friends with, date, or hire someone who isn’t sure of himself unless they have low self-esteem themselves.

People recognize, if only subconsciously, social anxiety when they see it and not only through the more obvious signs, such as quietness, avoidance, trembling, blushing, stuttering or sweaty palms.

Social anxiety can also be more covert, showing itself in less obvious ways:

  1. Excessive laughing and giggling
  2. Appearing normal on the outside but nervous and shaky on the inside
  3. Excessive humor and being overly funny or no sense of humor at all
  4. Excessive sarcasm/having a smart-alicky attitude
  5. Being overly friendly/too nice
  6. Shutting down/freezing up- unable to talk or move
  7. Meanness/rudeness
  8. Fidgeting/can’t sit still
  9. Lack of or too much eye contact
  10. Poor posture/looking down all the time
  11. Having a hard time keeping up with a conversation
  12. Talking too loudly, too fast, too soft, too slow, or not at all
  13. Indifference
  14. Excessive use of foul language
  15. Promiscuity/raciness
  16. Wearing attire that is provocative or super-revealing
  17. A style that is “perceived” as separatist or out of the ordinary (goth, punk-rock, etc.)

The difficult thing is that those covert signs don’t always mean that the person has social anxiety. Many people just have their own sense of style or they may be naturally introverted. They may also have a boisterous personality. If you do not know the person or aren’t close to them, it’s hard to tell.

But one thing that is noticeable is if the person never exhibited this kind of behavior or look before and suddenly, or within a short amount of time transitions into it. And these kinds of changes can only be noticeable to those who are close to the person or have been around the person for years.

Therefore, if you know a person who is showing these signs, instead of pointing a finger and judging them cruelly, ask questions and find out why. You may not realize that person could be a target of bullying or another form of abuse.

And if you are a target of bullying and struggling with social anxiety, I want you to know that you don’t have to live in that invisible prison forever. Bullies do not deserve value and you shouldn’t place any worth to their opinions of you. Understand that you are enough and that your bullies haven’t earned your respect nor your attention.

Only value the opinions or thoughts of the people who love you and whose opinions deserve your consideration, attention, and acknowledgement.

Start loving yourself and practicing self-care. Relax and be yourself. Embrace your flaws and quirks because we all have them whether we admit it or not. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them. I promise you that you’ll be much happier and have more peace of mind when you do.

Freedom

It’s being who you are and doing it unapologetically.

It’s saying what you feel without guilt.

It’s having the courage to walk away from toxic people and bad energy.

It’s relying on yourself and not others for happiness.

It’s having your own views and opinions.

It’s being fearless, or, more appropriately, doing it scared.

It’s feeling free to be a little silly sometimes.

You Don’t Need to Explain Yourself to a Bully

Why? Because bullies don’t care what your reasons are. The only reason they blame you for something and try to bait you into explaining yourself is the psychological payoff they get from it. The psychological payoffs, being satisfaction, gratification, and a massive rush of power.

While you’re standing there wasting your breath, trying to convince the bully that you aren’t guilty of whatever it is that they’re accusing you or attacking you for, the bullies are mentally smirking and patting themselves (and each other) on the backs over how easily they’ve got you to react, how easily they can scare you and make you nervous, and get you all up in arms. Some things don’t need an explanation.

Here are more reasons why you shouldn’t explain yourself to a bully:

1. No matter what you say, how calm you are when you say it, how convincing you may sound, or how much evidence you may have to support you, bullies will never believe you anyway.

2. Understand that bullies only believe whatever feels right, useful, and convenient for them.

3. They aren’t interested in evidence or facts. Any facts may only deter them for the time being, but believe me when I tell you. Your bullies will only get angrier at you for having the gall to prove them wrong. Then, they’ll regroup, reorganize, then come back at you with a whole new accusation and demand yet another explanation later.

Understand that anytime bullies accuse you of wrongdoing that you neither committed nor know anything about, deep inside, they already know you’re innocent.

They are fully aware that you had nothing to do with the transgression. Realize that it’s only a trap to get you to react and give them that rush of power that you’ve been giving them all along and that they crave and can’t seem to get enough of.

Even when you produce evidence to prove your point, you must work to gather that evidence.

Just knowing they have you jumping through hoops to prove yourself is enough to give them the thrills they’re looking for.

So, instead of letting them bait you into a defense, you should be asking yourself,

1. “Who are these morons?

2. “Who are they that I should have to explain anything?”

3. “Since when do I have to explain anything to these jackholes? They don’t pay my bills!”

Understand that you don’t owe these people a damn thing!

I understand that bullies can be intimidating and threatening. It’s hard to resist an explanation when you’re scared to death and not began rattling off an excuse in nervousness, hoping that a reasonable explanation will make the harassment go away. But trust me, it won’t!

It certainly didn’t make things better for me. If anything, it only got worse because my reaction only made me look like an easy target.

But once I realized what they were doing, I began to get bored with them and walk away because their games no longer affected me. The same will be for you too, and you’ll feel much better. And the icing on the cake will be that you’ll take the wind out of the bullies’ sails, and they’ll finally leave you alone.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

Why Many Young Bullies Today Desperately Want Socialism

Three words! Entitlement, jealousy, and resentment – of anyone they perceived as better off than they are.

Understand that the young people who promote Marxism, Socialism, and Communism in America- many of whom join groups like BLM, Antifa, BAMN, and The Red Guard are the same kids who were growing up when everyone was getting trophies for participation.

They never learned good sportsmanship because their feelings and pride were always shielded from disappointment with these participation trophies, and they never had to deal with any sense of failure.

But then something happened. These children grew up– and no longer had their equally entitled and overly protective parents to shield them from the realities of the real world! And, low and behold, the real world gave them a good sucker-punch, causing such a rude awaking that it shattered their fragile egos and sense of entitlement. Ouch!

Suddenly, they began to see that some people were just a little more fortunate than they were! That some people had more “stuff” than they did! That some people were much better off than they were!

“Oh, my God! What a bummer!”

“Oh, the unfairness of it all!”

“The injustice of it all!”

“How dare they have a life better than me!”

Those are the collective thoughts of these kids, and it doesn’t matter whether these “lucky” people worked their butts off for what they have. It doesn’t matter that many of these more fortunate people were once poor themselves but managed to pull themselves up by their bootstraps by starting businesses of their own.

No. None of that matters to these kids because many of them are thirty plus years old and still living in their parent’s basements, sadly. They feel as if life didn’t give them a fair shake, so they shouldn’t have to work for anything. They would rather have security than freedom.

The only thing that matters to people in these groups is that these lucky others have it, they want it, and if they can’t get it, nobody else should have it either. So, they want to make the world more equal. Because, “If I can’t have it, then, by George, I’ll make sure nobody else has a chance of achieving it!”

Thus, the idea of Socialist utopia began to sound like the perfect solution to their feelings of jealousy, failure, and inferiority.

Even sadder is the fact that some of these kids grew up with parents who thought it more comfortable to live on welfare and watch soap operas all day, rather than get a job or go to school to create better lives for their children.

And many of these parents who did go to school didn’t finish because, even though they received Federal Pell Grants, studying for hours a day was “too hard” when you had children. Therefore, they never taught these kids the harsh reality that nothing good ever comes easy!

And many of the parents who did go to work, only worked long enough to receive a couple of paychecks, then they would quit and go back to living on welfare. I saw this with my own eyes. These parents were my age. And the running theme was this:

“I was looking for a job when I found this one, and I’ll be looking for a job when I find the next one.”

Back in the nineties and the beginning of the first decade of the new millennium, jobs were plentiful. However, it was tough for employers to find good workers because nobody cared whether they got fired or laid off and didn’t see the incentive to keep going when the job grew hard and monotonous.

Jealousy

Meanwhile, their children were growing up, going to school. They had to watch other kids, whose parents did believe in the value of hard work. These kids watched them come to school wearing Tommy Hilfiger, Abercrombie and Fitch, and Filas, and secretly coveted their good lifestyles and hating them for having them. And it seems they never got over it.

And this is the product we get- a generation of spoiled, self-entitled young adults who scream for justice now. And their justice would be that everyone ends up equally poor.

Rather than everyone having the opportunity to pull themselves out of poverty and pursue a better life, which is what Capitalism and Fee Enterprise gives us, these kids would rather everyone be poor and oppressed under Socialism. Because God forbid, they see anyone other than themselves rise above it while they remain stuck in it!

But what they don’t realize is that with Socialism not only comes poverty, but oppression, lawlessness, sickness, famine, and death!

Remember that the only difference between Socialism and downright Communism is that people vote Socialism in. With Communism, people force it in by starting a revolution. Look up the Bolshevic Revolution that brought Communism to Russia.

Venezuela voted in Socialism in 1992. And they were a very prosperous nation then.

But it only took a decade for the country to plunge into the hell hole that it is today. Many people are trying to leave that country and come to the US for a better life. And if the US turns socialist, there will be nowhere else to go! The entire world will go dark! America will not be the utopia that these young and misinformed useful tools of the Left imagine.

In conclusion, my message to these kids, who haven’t lived in this world long enough to know the difference, is this:

Are you sure you know what you’re asking for? Are you willing to accept what comes with it?

“Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!” And when you get it, you won’t like it! But by then it will be too late to turn back!

The Catch 22 Almost No One Talks About (I Wonder Why?)

dreamstime_xs_17899897

Here’s another reason why I believe that the term “toxic masculinity” is a bogus term.

Many times, you have a situation, which almost no one talks about and is too often ignored- female bullying against male targets and why society gives male targets a bum rap.

I cannot count the stories I’ve both read and heard about males being harassed and abused by vicious females…boys and young men, who are, under normal circumstances, kind and caring but only pushed too far by their female tormentors before they finally have enough and strike back to defend themselves.

Unfortunately, after having been bullied for so long, the pressure builds to a breaking point. The poor guy finally decides that enough is enough and hits the girl back after she hits him first. As a result, HE gets the blame simply because he is a male.

Because the girl knows very well that society protects females due to the still widely-held belief that females are the weaker sex, she uses it to her own advantage by playing the “woman card” and feigning victimhood- complete with crocodile tears, rationalization and projecting blame onto her victim.

female bullies bitches

The conniving and cunning female also deceives by acting sweet and innocent in the presence of the right people. She is silver-tongued. Therefore, she is a pro at spinning a convincing story to deceive authority while demonizing her male target, all to avoid being held responsible.

Although the poor target is actually a great guy with good morals, values, and ethics; to bystanders and authority, he is just another punk, who goes around beating up on girls/women. He ends up either being suspended/expelled from school, or arrested and charged as a criminal, while his female bully looks on with a smirk of gratification on her face. She then escapes punishment and goes on to select yet another male victim. Thus, the cycle continues.

If the young man didn’t hit her back, but only restrained her to protect himself, he would still be dehumanized and punished because he simply laid hands on her. Yes. You read this correctly…if someone physically attacks you and you restrain them, you can STILL go to jail- just as if you delivered the first punch because your hands were touching the person. It is impossible to restrain anyone without touching them.

Abandoned jail common room in cell block

Interior of cell block in abandoned State Correctional Institution, or jail., common room with jail cells.

This is just a sad example of how completely backward school rules and the laws in this country really are.

Here’s a second catch 22:

A young man is being bullied relentlessly at school by a girl or group of girls. The girl(s)harass this boy for a number of years and during this time, the other boys also laugh and make fun of him because he is the bigger person and walks away instead of fighting back. They feminize him by calling him names, such as “wuss”, “wimp”, “pussy”, “bitch-boy” and other names which attack the male pride and strip away any masculinity.

The poor guy then reports the bullying only to be told to “man up” or “toughen up” and the boys only further shame him for being a “whiner”, “crybaby” or “tattle tale”.

Then, the young boy finally gets sick of the mistreatment and he snaps on one of the girls, battering her until her lip and nose are bleeding. Now, all hell breaks loose!

victim why

The target goes from being seen as a wimp to being viewed as a little punk who gets his jollies by beating up on females. He can’t win no matter which way he turns! He is suspended, expelled, or arrested for assault and battery. Also, the boys now want to jump him because he hit a girl.

The poor young man, although a victim, is now marginalized by the system, which is supposed to protect him.

So what other recourse does he have after having tried everything to protect himself and make the harassment stop?

My purpose is to open a few eyes and let society know that boys DO get bullied by girls…that more and more men get bullied by women. I believe this is because females are more prone to violence today than ever before in history, due to the significant moral decline of girls, which has taken place in the last 30 years.

However, understand that this article does not apply to male bullies, who go around physically or psychologically harming females but only to innocent male victims, who only want to be left in peace and live a normal life like everyone else.

narcissist

If two men are at odds with each other and they resort to fisticuffs, they usually end up later patching things up, then going somewhere to have a beer together. Not so with women. If two women get into an altercation, chances are that they will not let go of their hatred of each other. A woman is like a dog with a bone. She will cling tightly to her grudge against her rival until the heavens come crashing down.

In closing, I will tell you that women are not always the weaker sex. I’m a woman myself and I know first hand that when it comes to evil, women, and girls can be the meanest, most disgusting, most relentless, most deplorable, and most vicious of the sexes! In most cases of bullying and harassment by the opposite sex, victims who are male get a bum rap! This has to be brought to light!

It’s high time that we wise up, rip the fake mask off these vicious shrews and expose their misdeeds to as many people as possible in order to decrease the chances of other innocent men and boys becoming targets in the future.

Because, believe it or not, not all girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Many Targets of Bullying Have Vivid Imaginations

Ideas Vision Innovation Share Think Concepts

Targets of bullying often use their imaginations as an escape from the real world of bullying and abuse. It’s why many of them later become successful writers, actors, musicians, artists, and architects.

Speaking from my own experience, I too had a very colorful imagination, and I’ve come to realize that this is a good thing because, without imagination and fantasy, there’s no life.

Imagination allows you to leave your toxic environment and envision a better life. We may fantasize about having friends, saving someone and being their hero, love, sex, money, or winning an award for a good deed or job well done. We may also envision our future- growing up to be a doctor. We might dream of becoming a lawyer and winning a high-profile case in court, or of marriage and lots of children.

Without imagination, we’d be stuck because the imagination is the starting point to success and a better life. Imagination sets us on the path to realizing our dreams and aspirations. It inspires creativity and gives us pleasure we can’t get anywhere else.

Imagination also relieves emotional pain and boredom.

I believe that my imagination is partly what kept me alive during the years I was bullied. It helped me to survive and ultimately, find my purpose, my calling, my passion, and my life’s work.

Understand that without imagination, we will have no purpose, no direction, no incentive to work hard and follow our paths, and no hope.

If you’re a target of bullying and your bullies ridicule you over your picturesque imagination, please do not listen to them and never be ashamed of it. Because it’s the very thing that can take you places you never dreamed of and will inspire greatness!

Nurture and grow you envisions by continuing to daydream. This is something you should never stop doing. Keep being creative and your creativity will grow. Understand that when you imagine and create, you have hope and hope is the only thing that will keep you going.

Never give up your dreams no matter what others may say or think. And realize that the people who make fun of it are only losers with no imaginations or creativity at all and they only do it because they’re jealous of your awesome mind.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Learned Helplessness Explained (Part 2)

Continued from Part 1…

During the last post, I promised to show you how to get out of that bad place. Here’s the short list of things you can do:

1.Seek therapy. Counselling that is. Counselling allows you to talk and get things off your chest. However, this should be in conjunction with other steps like…

 2. Prayer. Believe it or not, prayer works. So, spend a minute or two in prayer and ask Him to show you what to do and what you need to understand.

 3. Reading personal development. You must know how to change your situation and personal development will tell you how. It did for me.

For example, if you’re having a hard time making friends, I recommend the books “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, and “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene!

Also, read any of Joe Navarro’s books about body language. He is a former FBI profiler, and his books will teach you how to better read nonverbal communication. The better you read body language, the better you’ll communicate with others!

4. Practice, practice, practice. None of what you’ve learned will do you a lot of good if you don’t put it to practice. You must practice every day to build your confidence and it will require stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears head on.

 Remember, your transforming will take time. Don’t rush the process. Do everything and learn at your own pace. Patience is the key.

Learned Helplessness Explained from Personal Experience

A Very Bad Place

That god-awful place I was in years ago is a place I never want to return to. There was a time I’d given up- a time I felt that I had no control over my own life. Instead of running my life, I let my life run me. Even worse, as much as I wanted to fix it, I didn’t know how.

All I knew was that my life was a constant battle- a war I never volunteered to fight in but one I felt I’d been involuntarily drafted into- with no furlough, no R&R, and one that seemed to be never-ending. I was as a ship without a rudder.

Bad things kept happening back-to-back and I didn’t know what was broken. Therefore, there was no way of knowing how to fix it.

It looked as if everyone else was happily enjoying life- getting what they wanted (or more appropriately, what I wanted)- everyone except me, and I was sick of always being an exception.

I had been programmed to believe, though subconsciously, that love, success, anything good and meaningful, was for anyone who wasn’t me. I felt that God loathed me and wanted to punish me by blocking me from any kind of happiness, satisfaction, and contentment, while making sure I’d see everyone else reaching successes and enjoying their lives.

And I hated them all for it. Even worse, I hated God for seemingly blessing them and cursing me- for allowing me to suffer and seemingly leaving me to fend for myself, then cutting off ways for me to do it. I felt that it just wasn’t fair. I stopped talking to God. I wanted nothing to do with Him. I either wanted to ignore Him flat out or curse Him in my heart. I was angry- no. I was outraged!

Depression Concept with Word Cloud and a Humanbeing with broken Brain and Heavy Rain

I was in such a bad place and life sucked- royally!

It was as if He were forcing me to suffer and, at the same time, rubbing everyone else’s successes and blessings in my face. It was the feeling of being starved and denied essential nourishment while being tied to a chair and forced to watch everyone in the room eat heartily and enjoy a huge feast.

That was torture!

It’s Only the Result of Learned Helplessness.

But you see? This is what learned helplessness does. It programs you to believe that you’re at the mercy of Fate! You ask yourself, “what’s the point?” After so many disappointments and heartaches, you come to feel that there’s nothing you can do to change your situation- that you’re just “stuck with it,” and “that’s just the way it is.”

Learned helplessness forces you to believe that you have power over nothing! You’re just a leaf being blown about by the wind- a car without a steering wheel. It is as if your life has been set to autopilot and there’s no way you can navigate its direction.

You come to believe that you should just roll over, resign yourself, and accept your fate and station in life- just go with the flow and let yourself be blown wherever the wind decides to take you.

At the time, therapy helped a little, don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t enough. It only allowed me to keep existing instead of living. All the therapists wanted to do was shove anti-depressants down my throat, which, in most cases, left me feeling like a zombie- like I was just there, and that’s it. They were only treating the symptoms and not the root cause.

The Turning Point

My saving grace was when God showed me what I needed to do. And what pulled me out of this dark pit was when I began reading personal development and putting everything I learned into practice. I was hungry for any knowledge I could use to make a better life for myself. I ordered and devoured book after book, and I continued to practice the new habits I’d learned everyday until it became like second nature, and I no longer had to think about it.

The transformation didn’t happen overnight. It took a few years but I was amazed at the results and the good blessings that begin to flow into my life almost immediately!

I now realize that all along, I’d always had the power to change things, only I’d never known I had it.

And power you don’t know you have is power you don’t have because it’s power you can’t use. You cannot use anything you don’t know you have.

A Positive Outcome

In general, I’m a happy person today. I’m confident and comfortable in my own skin. I know who I am and what I want out of life, and I go after it with excitement and fervor. Yes! Now, I get excited about my life and about the future!

This is not to say that I don’t have days when I’m not at my best because I do. Things will still go wrong as they most certainly will for anyone of us. I just have a much better way of looking at it and it doesn’t feel nearly as bad as it used to. I may not have total control of my life, only God has that. But I have control over much more than I did years ago.

Any time I even suspect that I’m slipping back into the “old mindset,” I quickly begin counting my blessings and reminding myself that there are many people who have it much worse than I ever had it and before I know it, I’m back to where I need to be.

But most importantly, I’m making my peace with God and there’s nothing better than that!

So, I want you to know that, if you’re in the same bad place, you don’t have to continue living there. You have more power than you realize, you just don’t know it’s there. You do not have to accept everything that you’re not happy with and that brings you pain.

You do have the power to change it. I’ll show you how in the next post!

Learn to Love the Person You’re Stuck with For Life- You!

Hey! There’s no getting away from it, kiddo! You can never run from yourself. You are confined to yourself and will take this person with you wherever you go. Soooo… Would you rather be stuck for the rest of your life with someone you love or someone you hate?

I thought so.

Many times, we’ve heard critical and debasing voices of the people around us when we were growing up. And they conditioned us to take it as truth. We were innocent victims who ended up internalizing the bad stuff that happened to us and mistook them as confirmation that we are unlovable. Understand that it is all a lie.

Realize that the devil is the author of lies and a good liar always uses the past to convince us that their lies are the truth. They tell us that we’re unworthy, that we’re bad, that we’ll never amount to a hill of beans.

Again, all lies.

I’m not a shrink. I’m not even a mental health professional. However, what I’m suggesting here is just common sense. Wouldn’t it make sense to love the only person you’re stuck with 24/7, rather than to hate them? Sure, it would.

Therefore, it’s so important that we don’t let bullies convince us to hate ourselves. Never let someone else use you as their personal toxic waste dump. Never allow yourself to be a dumping ground for their baggage.

Granted, this is easier said than done, especially when you’re a target of relentless bullying. It takes a conscious effort and a lot of work to keep their garbage from affecting our mental health. But realize that you’re worth the investment. I promise you.

And if it gets overwhelming, there’s nothing wrong with seeking therapy. We all need a little help sometimes. Also, there’s nothing wrong with leaving the environment either. Do whatever you must do to preserve your sanity.

If you choose the first option, know that it doesn’t mean you’re “crazy” or “mentally imbalanced.” Realize that ignorant people tell you these things to make you seem that way because it helps them to distract others from and hide their own mental and emotional issues.

If you choose the latter, know that you’re not running away; you’re removing yourself from a bad place that’s no good for you. That’s not being chicken or wimping out, that’s called self-care. And naturally, when you love someone, you’ll protect and take care of them. Take care of yourself.

So, fall in love with yourself. And that means breaking up with the voices that tell you that you’re not worthy and banishing them forever because those voices are nasty. They’re old, stale, and they stink like yesterday’s trash! They’ve been telling you the same worn out lies for years and you’d think we’d get bored hearing the same old crap from them after so long.

Replace them with voices of love because anything other than that is just noise pollution!

PTSD

Loving yourself also means treating your body with respect and care- feeding it what it needs and giving it exercise by going on nature walks and spending time outside rather than isolating yourself by shutting yourself inside the house all day. There’s nothing like being outdoors and enjoying some sunlight and a cool breeze. You’d be surprised at how much better it makes you feel.

It means feeding your mind as well- reading personal development books (or a good mystery novel), meditating, and praying.

Most importantly, it means you stop criticizing yourself and listening to that toxic voice that says you’re not good enough. You might not completely get rid of your inner critic, but you won’t give it nearly as much airtime as you once did.

When you love yourself fully and completely, you allow yourself to make mistakes and use them to learn and grow. You’ll allow yourself to apologize when appropriate. You’ll embrace the imperfections you cannot change and improve on the ones you can.

When you start loving yourself, you will accept healthier relationships with people who truly love you because you’ll feel more worthy of them. You’ll become a go-getter and begin going after your dreams. Other people will sense this and treat you with love and respect while toxic people will be more likely to avoid you like the plague because they won’t want to mess with you.

Even your finances and lifestyle will go up!

You’ll invite positive changes by learning, improving, and growing. You won’t change who you are but only become a better version of yourself. Even better you’ll enjoy your journey to self-betterment.

Understand that we accept what we think we deserve out of life. If you loathe yourself, you’ll accept drama in your life and toxic relationships and environments that aren’t good for you. You’ll allow people to wipe their feet all over you and you’ll lose sight of your goals and dreams. In short, you’ll settle for less and get even less than what you settle for.

That’s why it’s crucial that you learn to love the one person you’re stuck with- the one person you can never, even for a second, get away from- yourself!

Stop spending time with someone you hate. Instead, spend your time with someone you love! And you do it by replacing the hate for that person with love.

I won’t kid you here. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. It’s going to take a lot of hard inner work and you will have to invest a lot of time and energy at first. There will also be times when your mind will fight against you, and you fall short but get back up and keep at it!

It will be so worth it in the end. Know that YOU are worth it! Love the person you’re stuck with!

Self-Loathing, Self-Consciousness, and Low Self-Esteem Comes From Not Knowing Who You Are

Let’s face it. We live in a society of three things that kill peace and happiness- self-loathing, self-consciousness, and low self-esteem; and it shows every day. We see people with victim mentality, people running around in fear, and people who carry unnecessary guilt.

Targets of bullying do this all the time to prove something to their classmates, neighbors, or coworkers. Even people who aren’t necessarily targets of bullying but have been brainwashed by media to believe that they’re somehow responsible for the evil in the world do the same thing. I want you to understand that you are not responsible for someone else’s atrocious and unspeakable actions.

For example, last summer, we saw on the news, where people people would kneel before certain groups to virtue signal and prove they weren’t racist, xenophobic, or homophobic. And while these people were kneeling, those they were kneeling before only laughed. It was quite pathetic.

‘You see? Here’s the thing. If you know who you are and that you aren’t any of these things, you don’t have to prove it.

My point is that that if you know who you are, what you stand for, and that you haven’t done anything wrong- if you know in your heart that you’re not what others say you are, there’s no need to bend over backwards and jump through hoops to prove otherwise.

At the same time, you absolutely must loathe evil and yes, even speak out against it. But virtue signaling isn’t necessary.

I hate racism, xenophobia, and homophobia with a passion and I speak out against it. I hate anything that marginalizes human beings on the basis of being different and not their character and their behavior.  But I won’t take responsibility for the despicable behavior of other people and I will never virtue signal to prove anything because I don’t have to.

I know who I am and I know that my virtues are there whether they’re visible or not.

So let your goodness and humanity speak for itself. Let your truth do the talking for you. Stop being afraid of conflict and of being labeled. If you’re carrying guilt that isn’t your burden to carry, stop it right now. Know that a fearful person is a controllable person. Don’t be that person!

Don’t be the person who is constantly trying to prove something to others because, in the end, you only demean and degrade yourself.

Instead, be the person who hates and speaks out against evil and wrongdoing. Be the person who shows love to people of different races, nationalities, orientations, religions, beliefs, or any other differences. But most of all, be the person who’s positivity, love, and good deeds speak for themselves. Remember that we’re all human beings deserving of dignity and love.