5 Things That Happen to Survivors of Bullying Who Never Heal from Bullying and Abuse

I don’t want to imagine where I’d be if I never healed from the bullying I suffered in the past. It’s not something l like to think about and it isn’t something I enjoy bringing up. However, I feel I’d be doing you a huge disservice if I didn’t.

If you were bullied at some point and you did the inner work and healed from it, you are one of the lucky blessed and I extend my congratulations to you.

But sadly, many survivors of bullying never heal, and I can only feel terrible for them. Because these people go their entire lives, dragging so much pinned up anger, resentment, sadness, and depression with them. Those emotions tend to fester into powerlessness- they simply don’t know what to do to make their lives better and achieve happiness and prosperity. Others only let it make them unfeeling and uncaring- and this second set of survivors often find prosperity and success, but they don’t find happiness.

So, what do these unhealed survivors do end up doing and where do they end up?

1. They join gangs. Many times, when a person has been bullied and hasn’t healed, they often join to get the sense of friendship, unity, belonging, and empowerment they were for so long denied. In a gang, these survivors are ensured protection from further bullying. And they use fear to get that protection.

2. They join extremist groups. Because these survivors were bullied terribly and never healed from it, they often feel a sense of unfairness and injustice. So, they take up a cause. Don’t get me wrong. Taking up a cause can be a wonderful and constructive way to deal with pain and trauma. But extremist groups are never good because they have a tendency for violence.  In joining extremist groups, survivors also get the friendship, support, alliance, and power they couldn’t get before.

Interior of cell block in abandoned State Correctional Institution, or jail., common room with jail cel

3. They end up in jail. Remember a few posts back, when I mentioned that anyone who is consistently told they’re bad, crazy, or evil will begin to exhibit behavior which matches the labels? When people are made to feel that they’re horrible people, they may go out and commit crimes either to get attention or because they feel they’re owed for all the bullying they suffered.

4. They become workaholics. In the past, they were bullied and made to feel powerless. So, they work like dogs to make lots of money because they feel that having lots of money gives them enormous power.

5. They get into drug abuse. Many become drug addicts and alcoholics to quell the PTSD, trauma, sadness, and depression that is brought about by bullying. Instead of seeking the right kind of help, they self-medicate.

Understand that healing from bullying is a must if you want to go on to a happy and peaceful life and that sometimes, healing means seeking therapy. Healing and getting closure take a lot of work. But I promise that if you get the help and put in the inner work needed, it’ll be so worth it in the end!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

48 thoughts on “5 Things That Happen to Survivors of Bullying Who Never Heal from Bullying and Abuse

  1. We. Ever control external circumstances. That is the event that must cause the inner preparatory work needed to find one’s inner strength. Personal development is an inside job. I am glad this topic is being brought out to the forefront and thank you for sharing!

    • No brother I cool
      Past took my like learn from knowledge by good and dad both of way
      If I take my past all was good
      After that future are always keeping Cool and I learn from environment
      Diplomate no risk
      From my subject or object

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  4. I have been fortunate enough not to go down the path that my bullies were laying out for me… I may be a survivor, but they did scar me and change my views on people. Also, my experience and expectations aren’t as the “should” be, as my previous partners were both, in a way, narcissistic and bullying me and I didn’t see it until I was on my own. So I guess I was so accustomed to being bullied that I chose people to live with that lured me in with protection and gifts and love and when I was in, when it was just them and me, they belittled me, told me I was no good, sometimes I even got hit, I was to pay for many things and then I got told off for not having enough money for other things they wanted….
    So I didn’t go down the path but I feel I got stuck on it for quite some time. Seeing a wee bit of affection for love, being blind to the ways I was being used to put my partners on their pedestals…. 😔
    Thank you for all your posts about these topics, I recognize a lot and I also learn to recognize things that I did not see before. 😊

    • Sweetie, my heart goes out to you. Sometimes bullying can cause us to invite the wrong people in our lives and we never do that on purpose. It’s not that we want to, but it’s a subconscious thing. We don’t even know we do it. And a narcissist can read people very well and they have a knack for selecting former victims of bullying and luring them in to their webs.

      • Thanks! Yeah it’s like narcissistic people have a 6th sense to sniff out the people that will serve them best… Still, she let me believe that we were happy, we even got married and all… But yeah, I got royally dumped when she found someone better and I didn’t even get to keep all things I had bought… But I was too depressed to fight about it. I do blame myself for kot demanding my stuff back, but I had tried to kill myself and just didn’t have the energy, strength nor balls to do it 😔. So a hard lesson, a painful one, but even though I struggle financially now, I do think I’m better off, mentally 😊

        • I’m so glad you’re still here. And yes, you are better off mentally. Money can be replaced easily. You’ll get on your feet eventually. Just never again take her back. And she will come after you again as soon as she sees that you’re doing good and thriving. Please, please…DONT take her back!

          • The early free-me would have gladly taken her back because, even though I was being used, somehow I thought I felt OK… But now-me has seen her true colors and even though she stole stuff from me, I really don’t need her in my life anymore.
            I’m guessing money issues may keep present as so many things here are getting too damn expensive and my money is not increasing… I know I’m the sole benefiting when my parents leave this world, as I’m an only child. But the thought scares me as there’s so much to do then and I’ll have money afterwards (selling their house as I don’t want to live there)… And it scares me as I’m unsure if I’d be able to handle it all….. My mum is in decent health, but dad has cancer so 😔…. Ugh. Sorry, babbling!

          • Thanks 😊 and thank you. I do my best and normally I do all I can to help them. But I’m still recovering from my surgery, so I’m not the best help at the moment. 😔

    • Thank you so much, Priscilla. And you’re so right. When we know ourselves fully, it’s much easier to move on and create good lives for ourselves. I so appreciate your thoughts. <3

  5. Great post. Victims of bullying also goes to depression, even suicide. In time, they loose hope because no one tried to help them and show them kindness do exist. Bullying comes in many forms now, whether Work, school, relationship circles.

  6. How sad because such circumstances can really be so self-defeating and tragic. You bring out some very good points of wise advice once again Cherie! 💖👏🏼💝 I agree with Dr. Maples that personal development is an inside job. Thanks for sharing this with us my friend!!! 🙏🏼💐🤗

    • You’re most welcome, Kym. It’s scary because I realize that could’ve happened to me too. I was certainly headed down that path for a while. Luckily I took a detour when I began gaining knowledge of bullies and bullying. But when it happens to anyone, it’s heartbreaking because it’s a waste of life. It really saddens me to see people with so much potential accidentally allow bullies to take itbfrom them. Bless you, sweetie! 💖😊💐🌹

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    • I’m so proud of you, Celine. I’m glad you went back and talked to them. As for me, I forgive them, but they’re still very much the same bullies if not worse than before and I want nothing to do with them. My bullies from school are mentally ill and dangerous people.
      I wish you much happiness and success. 💖💐🌹

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