Month: November 2021
A Nice Little Funny!
Feeding Frenzy
About 200 beasts hungrily stood in line to get their pound of flesh.
The first time they saw me they envisioned meat so succulent and fresh.
As they rooted and feasted on my frail body they locked their jaws so rough.
The bloody, meaty pieces were so addictive they couldn’t get enough.
With bottomless pits, they came back for more, more, and more still.
No matter how much flesh they took, they could never get their fill.
As they looked at me from their desks with fire and brimstine in their eyes.
They salivated, smacking their lips and licking their chops and they did rise.
To the occasion.
In anticipation.
Their eyes narrowed into little slits as they bore their stained-pink teeth at me.
But although they’d sink them deeper into my jugular, my death wasn’t to be.
They smelled the fear and lusted after my blood as they anticipated.
This wolf pack stayed ravenous and were never close to satiated.
The brutal kill and resulting feast they desired but could never quite attain.
Because they could never be satisfied with even the maximum amount of pain.
These vampires, they desired to suck the lifeblood from my body until there was no more left.
Only of my life-giving blood, they could never quite leave me bereft.
So they couldn’t resist nor get enough of it’s sweet but metallic taste.
They couldn’t rip and tear severely enough, so their energy they’d only waste.
They couldn’t get enough of the deliciousness of the raw meat of power.
So in their discontent they’d sit and in bitterness they would glower.
While grinding their boot heels into the back of my neck.
In their evil favor, they had to work feverishly to stack the deck.
But surprise, I survived and my body’s gaping wounds did close and heal.
My precious life’s blood those vampires could never completely steal.
I finally escaped my evil predators and began to grow stronger.
Under their dirty, nasty, grubby paws I remained trapped no longer.
The near-fatal, bleeding wounds they inflicted soon turned to scars.
But you see? The scars bullies inflict can help you reach the stars.
Bikers Against Bullies UK: Bullied Teen Tells Her Story
Sometimes Distance Can Be a Good Thing
When a person deals with people who criticize them daily, it can quickly wear her down and break her spirit. Sadly, many people disrespect the same target repetitively over several years. They will eventually train that person to tolerate it if he isn’t careful and doesn’t safeguard his mind by doing things to maintain a strong sense of self.
If you’re a target and you stay silent and continue to put up with it, you are, in essence, permitting your bullies to keep abusing you. ‘You see? Here’s how abusers and most bystanders see it, and I’ve heard many perpetrators and witnesses say it out of their mouths.
“If he puts up with it, then he deserves it!”
No! You don’t deserve it. Ever! You have every right to stand up to abuse because it’s a form of violence. The person is violating your boundaries, and it’s up to you to protect those boundaries.
Understand that this is your life, and no law says you have to take crap from anyone.
My grandmother, God rest her soul, tolerated a truckload of abuse as a young woman in her twenties and thirties. The time she was living in was the fifties and sixties. During that era, society expected women to stay silent and submit to abuse.
She had a narcissistic husband who violated her boundaries at every turn. He even lorded over the children too. This beautiful woman dealt with mistreatment from others as well. My grandmother was the very definition of class and grace. She was tall, thin, and gorgeous- the poster lady of feminine beauty, especially during that era. More importantly, she was kind, humble, generous, and smart! Nothing got past my grandmother!
Yet my grandfather never acknowledged her virtues and good qualities and instead, devalued her. He was jealous of her beauty and her smarts. She used her smarts to battle the abuse, and it would enrage him every time she’d trick him. But eventually, she got tired and fed up.
She finally got angry with herself for putting up with his abuse all those years. That’s when she waited until he went to work, then drove into town and filed for a legal separation. Next, she had all the locks changed, and when he got home, she handed him the papers, had his bags packed and ready for him, and told him to get out.
My grandfather was stunned. He never expected her to leave, and for a long time, she hadn’t. Her love for him was that strong. But in the end, she had to love herself enough to walk away from the marriage.
And she needed to love herself more than she did him, which took a lot of strength and courage. She was surprised at how much better her life got once she got over the grief from the divorce.
He stalked her for a while, driving by the house and trying to keep tabs on her. But she continued to hold firm, and she never took him back.
But that was my grandmother. She was a rock, and it’s how I remember her.
The point of my story is that putting distance between yourself and abusers, whether they be an abusive partner, an authoritarian boss, or abusers at work or school, is essential to finding peace of mind. All of the above are bullies and don’t deserve a seat at your table.
It’s why I left Oakley and I choose not to go to any future class reunions. And it’s the reason my telephone number was always unlisted when I lived in Oakley for a little while as an adult during the late ’90s and early 2000s. I didn’t want to risk the possibility of any former bullies looking me up in the directory and finding not only my number but my street address.
And even today, none of them know where I am. All those people know is that I no longer live in Oakley, and I intend to keep it that way.
Hit the road concept, road – 3D rendering
Distance is a blessing, and it’s the best weapon against bullies. It pays to stay away and ensure that they also keep away.
If it’s possible, targets should put as much distance between themselves and their bullies as they can. As long as you’re out of their reach and they stay away from you, they can’t bother you.
Morally Superior Bullies
20 Effects of Long-Term Bullying on Targets
Bullying crushes the target’s spirit. It sucks the joy out of life and reprograms the mind.
After a while, the person begins to believe the lies bullies tell him about himself and see himself through his bullies’ eyes. Therefore, he believes that maybe the bullies have a justifiable reason to bully him but can’t figure what it is.
As a result, the target will make extra efforts to explain himself more clearly, but to no avail. He clings to the hope that the bullies will go away through the small reprieves they may give him.
On the occasions bullies act friendly to him, the target’s hopes go up, and he forgets about the past. Next, they blindside the target with another brutal attack.
Understand that the bullies are using the age-old push and pull technique to keep the target trying to make friends out of them and trapped inside the bully/victim dynamic. And they do this to keep him confused- this is how bullies can maintain power over their targets.
Realize that if your bullies can keep your hopes up, it’s likely that you’ll feel compelled to keep jumping through hoops to prove yourself worthy.
Here’s how it goes: Bullies stop bullying you for a while, and once you let your guard down and begin feeling safe and confident again, BAM! Once again, they attack! Realize abusers do this deliberately!
Over time, bullying can cause these effects on the target:
1.Can no longer trust themselves to act on their own volition and spontaneity or make their own decisions
2. A state of being always on guard- hypervigilance
3. Uncertainty of how they come across to others
4. A loss of their zest for life
5. A false concern that something is wrong with them
6. Constantly replaying and reviewing bullying incidents to try and figure out what went wrong.
7. Increasing self-doubt
8. Loss of confidence
9. Having an internalized inner critic
10. Fear that they’re going crazy
11. A dreadful sense that time is passing and they’re missing out
12. A growing sense that they aren’t happy but should be
13. Being extra careful not to be or sound too sensitive
14. Second, guessing themselves
15. An overwhelming desire to escape and get away from the bullying environment
16. A belief that they can’t do anything right
17. Living in the future- “things will be better when I graduate, turn eighteen, get another job, move away, get married, have children,” etc.
18. A distrust in relationships
19. Loss of faith in humanity (the belief that all people are inherently evil and enjoy seeing others suffer)
20. Feeling discombobulated and off-balance
If bullies have you feeling these ways, get out of their element if you can. When you’re so hurt and perplexed that you cannot tell which end is up, you’re living in hell, and it’s no way to live. You deserve peace, happiness, and confidence. Go where you can flourish, and your spirit can get the nourishment it desperately needs.
Yummy-Yummy-Yummy!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
From the bottom of my heart, I’m wishing you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!
Anti-Bullying Ad: It Only Takes One to Make a Difference
Blogging Playlist for Today
Kim Gordon Moore, I posted this for everyone but especially for you, sweetie! Since you and I are always discussing good music from yesteryear, I figured you’d love these three songs from my playlist for today! 😀
Dreams or Comfort Zones
The Vicious Cycle of Bullying
Sometimes, and with many targets, the bullying they suffer is a vicious cycle. Now you might ask, “What do you mean? How can bullying become a cycle?”
It can become a cycle in many ways. However, there’s one cycle in particular I’d like to discuss. I’ll describe it like this:
1.The target is bullied relentlessly, and she holds up for a year or two, trying to be strong and brave, trying to remain calm and cool, and seemingly doing quite well at it. However, the bullies are relentless, so, they escalate the attacks, and the abuse becomes more frequent and intense. It is as if they are trying to bring her down.
2. Finally, so many of her peers have bullied her so much for so long that they finally succeed in driving her to the breaking point. The target either attempts suicide or has a breakdown of some sort. Maybe she breaks down crying and her sobs are so deep and so uncontrollable that she can’t stop crying. It’s as if a dam has burst and the raging torrent of tears continues to pour forth. She’s crying so hard her entire body shakes, quakes, and writhes.
3. The target is admitted to a treatment center for severe depression. She stays in the hospital for a couple of months and while she’s there, she is making progress. She’s able to open up about the bullying she suffers, and people listen there. In the treatment center, she is safe.
She makes friends out of the other kids there and of the staff as well. They all support her, and she begins to feel good about herself again. It seems like she’s beginning to heal and get better.
A couple of months go by and for the first time in the two months she’s been in the hospital and away from the bullying environment at her school, she feels like herself again. She feels re-empowered.
4. She’s finally released from the hospital. But she has to go back to school and she has no choice but to go back to the very environment and to the people who made her sick in the first place.
Depression Concept with Word Cloud and a Humanbeing with broken Brain and Heavy Rain
5. As soon as the target goes back to school, although the others at school can’t prove where she’s been, they have it figured. Now there’s the mental health stigma hanging over her and the bullies instantly use it against her and only pick up where they left off. They begin mobbing her again and even a few teachers and the principal look down on her, just like before.
6. The principal warns her aloud, in the crowded hall, as she’s changing classes, “I’m going to be watching you closely.” He tells her. And he tells her this in front of the other students where they can overhear.
7. The target does well and is well-behaved. However, the principal, a few teachers, and the student body, view her with even more suspicion. Instead of acknowledging and encouraging her success, the principal and teachers continuing let her know that she’s on their radar.
8. Although the two months away in the treatment center was intended to help her get well and regain her confidence, self-esteem, and her life and returning to school was meant to be a chance to start over, the target is branded a troublemaker or a mental case by the school, some of the teachers and the principal, knowingly or unknowingly, are now in the process of undoing all the progress this girl has made.
What they should do is pull her aside and tell her in private that they are watching her, but that they admire her for getting help and trying to turn her life around.
However, their justification for their treatment of her is that it’s to protect the other students who fit in to what’s “normal” and who obey the rules. This justification is often used to defend the emotional abuse they inflict on the target and single her out for humiliation.
This is when the school is willingly participating in destroying a human being. The girl’s “loony bin trip” now follows her around like a stalking wildcat. School officials either don’t realize or don’t care about the impact their attitudes and prejudices have on young students.
Understand that this is the cycle. Bullies break the target down, the target goes somewhere and gets help, the target gets better and gets released, the target then must go back to the very place and to the same people that make them sick. They bully the target again… the cycle continues, again and again.
In cases like this, targets must be allowed to either transfer to a new school or home school, otherwise, the cycle only continues.
Strange but Funny Bullying Story
I was bullied by everyone for everything. It seemed they were all just dying to get a pound of flesh.
I’ll never forget one occasion during the seventh grade when it got so ridiculous that I had two people, who weren’t very bright to begin with, fight among themselves over who was going to get first dibs at jumping me. I’ll always remember one bully screaming to the other,
“I want my turn first!”
“No! I’m first!”
“She’s MINE to whoop, NOT yours!”
This was the strangest thing I’d ever seen. Shocked, I remember thinking, “Wow! Is this really happening? It couldn’t be this easy!”
And back and forth it went until they came to blows and forgot all about me! I only took this as my cue to get lost! It’s hilarious when I think about it now.