6 Tactics Toxic People Use When You Finally Kick Them Out of Your Life

In movies and television, we see scenarios where targets stand up to bullies and automatically either get left alone or become friends with their former tormentors. However, in most cases, this is not reality. Remember that bullies are relentless.

Here are the tactics bullies use when a target stands up for themselves:

If you are a target, you must realize that bullies will not relinquish their power so easily. They will not be good sports and hand your human rights back over to you, nor will they bow out of your life gracefully. Bullies have an insatiable need to wield power over another, and without that power, they feel lost.

Why? Because bullies have no redeemable qualities and they’re losers in life. And since they can’t get power by their own merit, the only way left to get it is by ruining someone else’s life.

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Make no mistake about it. When you kick unsavory people out of your life, they will do the following:

1. They will gaslight you- by adding their spin to make you look and feel like the villain and maligning you to others to destroy your good name and credibility.

2. They will lay guilt trips- by trying to convince you that you are at fault or that the abuse is your imagination. Bullies are masters at this, especially female bullies who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.

3. They may recruit followers and start a smear campaign- by recruiting followers to spread rumors and lies. They will also try to turn your friends against you. It happened to me many times and it would come as retaliation for my having the gall to stand up to them and assert my God-given, divine right not to be abused or taken advantage of.

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4. They will turn your friends against you- Females, although becoming more and more physically violent with time, commit much of their bullying by Dividing and Conquering- attacking the targetsโ€™ relationships to turn everyone against the target to isolate them. Think about it. The chances are that your friends know your deepest, darkest secrets. They would know the most intimate details about your life. Friends are a GOLDMINE of information to bullies.

5. They will project their shortcomings onto you– Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. What better way to keep their imperfections hidden than to either project them onto the target?

6. They will distract others’ attention away from their flaws by pointing out yours– What better way is there to hide their own shortcomings than putting the spotlight on yours? It shouldn’t be so easy but it is!

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If bullies can’t control you, they will control how others see you.

They use the above strategies not only to cover their backsides and to punish you for daring to grow a spine and defend yourself, but also to close you off from any possible help or protection.

Once the target is isolated, the bullies move in for the kill. Now, they can do with you whatever they choose to do, freely and with impunity because if everyone is against you, the least likely they are to report or stop the abuse. In the minds of others, you deserve what’s happening to you.

Bullies want to, figuratively, hold the target hostage, and they will resort to any means necessary to keep him/her on emotional lock down and โ€œin their place.โ€

They will do it with physical violence when exclusion, subtle digs, verbal assaults, gaslighting, and other forms of psychological abuse no longer have an impact. Bullies will commit their violence either by committing bodily harm themselves or sending someone else to do their savagery for them.

This does not mean that you should not stand up for yourself because you should. However, when you do, be prepared. The torment will get worse before it gets better. Be strong. Be brave and know that none of it is your fault.
The more you know.

56 thoughts on “6 Tactics Toxic People Use When You Finally Kick Them Out of Your Life

  1. Very helpful observations — i hope that you and us all encounter less toxic people this year than previous ones ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜„

    And Happy New Year to you buddy ๐ŸคŸ๐ŸŽ†๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฅณ

  2. Pingback: 6 Tactics Toxic People Use When You Finally Kick Them Out of Your Life – Tonya LaLonde

  3. Toxic people can also include work culture and hiring managers. I discuss this in my new post and that job candidates can turn down offers. There should be no reason why hiring executives act this way but sometimes they do because it is a power trip and it is not okay. As someone looking for new opportunities Iโ€™ve had to retract my candidacy because of hiring executives acting like bullies during an interview and trying to snicker, belittle my level of experience when I indeed have senior-level knowledge.

    Great post and feel free to read my post when you get a chance on lilpickmeup.com. I would love your input on it. Happy 2022!

    • Thank you so much, Sonyo! And you’re so right! It’s a power trip for them. I would love to read your new post! Thank you so much for your thoughts and for telling me about your post. I go to it now! <3

    • I just read it and it’s such an awesome post, Sonyo! I enjoyed the learning aspect of reading your post especially the part about the Spec Work and it being how companies steal people’s ideas. Thank you so much for recommending the read. It was a great one! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I second this, having worked in more than one toxic job environment. Workplace bullying is a nightmare and I wish someone would outlaw it

      • I can testify to this. I’ve worked in toxic and bullying workplaces myself and it’s a battle unlike any other. And they do need to make workplace bullying a crime.

  4. You have chosen to focus on a subject that so many people experience, and so few have any idea how to deal with it. Being a victim of a bully, leaves psychological scars for life. Great job, enjoy your work. Hope your New Year is awesome. God bless.

    • Thank you so much. You don’t know how much it means knowing that this blog is helping people. I so appreciate your encouragement and I wish you a wonderful New Year as well. God bless you too. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Oh yeah! New year, new pair of boots that are made for walking, cause that’s just what they’ll do!!! ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ข๐Ÿ˜œ Thanks so much for sharing your passion my dear! ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿค—

    • You’re most welcome, girlie! And Nancy Sinatra sure killed that song, didn’t she? ๐ŸŽถ๐Ÿ˜

      ๐ŸŽถ “…and one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you…A-you keep lyin’ when you ought be truthin'” ๐ŸŽถ Aw, heck! Here I go again! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜œ

      • Yes ma’am Nancy “kilt” it and that’s pretty much what you say to these narcissistic, arrogant, disgusting, bullies and toxic folks. One of these days them boots are gonna walk all over them! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฃ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ

  6. I found people with toxicity linking to bullying are similar to what you have written here. It maybe hard to deal with those fellows, but we can always stand for ourselves. Happy to learn and know many things from your site. ๐Ÿ˜Š

  7. My ex did all that after I left him. I am so glad he is an ex. Eventually people came around again, likely because the got fed up with him trashing me. The ones who still enable him were never friends to begin with, and not my turn to watch them.

    • I’m not surprised, Jen. They all do that when we get fed up with their ish! But it works just like you said, in trashing you, bullies eventually get redundant and end up boring the people around them with the same old worn out story. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚ That’s how it usually comes back to bite them. I’m so glad you’re moving on and taking control of your own life. Keep being the powerful super woman I know you are! Sending lots of love and hugs your way! ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’ช

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  9. Wow, I have worn my fingers out clicking “LIKED” on the responses, and finally decided to leave a comment. I have been the subject of be hurt by a bully, often, and it really hurts. I’d just like to say that when we know we are not alone it helps. But the best counter is to find someone you can talk to and get support. Bottom line: love those who love you, because they are a real gift in our life.

    • Thank you so much, Mary! And my heart goes out to you. I know what it’s like to be bullied. Know that there are people like me who care and who support you. And you’re right that people who live you are a huge gift! God bless you! ๐Ÿ™Œ

  10. I love this one “If bullies canโ€™t control you, they will control how others see you.” I’m 69 and just came out of 10 years of severe bullying. Had to get an order of protection. Relatives smeared my name with all friends and family. I was bullied as a child really bad. My own parents bulllied me! My kids were bullied! I have forgiven them all! But the scars! Your writings are VERY insightful!!!! Thanks for sharing your truth! And for visiting my blog.

    • My heart goes out to you, Mary (I figured your name is Mary but if I’m wrong, don’t hesitate to correct me). I feel your pain. It hurts bad enough when people bully you but when when they go after your babies, it only doubles the pain. And to be bullied by family is the worst. I’m so sorry you endured such horrible treatment by people who were supposed to love you. Know that you have a friend and I care. ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ•Š

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