Bullies, Bystanders, Willful Ignorance, Self-Deceit, and Blind Hatred- How They All Connect

Bullies with “Target Derangement Syndrome” hold extremely biased opinions about their targets- views that aren’t founded or developed from any evidence of facts. No, their judgments of the targets come from intense emotions alone. And no amount of data, substantial evidence, rational thought, or reason will ever change their minds about their target. These people are virtually unpersuadable.

I want you to realize that seeing the target as bad, evil, crazy, mentally imbalanced, weak, and inferior is too familiar to the bullies. It is the status quo. And it often takes someone who’s outside the toxic environment or bully/target dynamic to see the stuff those on the inside are blind to. Why do you think bullies also go out of their way to destroy the target’s reputation with strangers who haven’t yet met the target?

Understand that these bullies have overinflated egos. And the false stories and widely-held assumptions about the target provide the bullies these three benefits: a sense of power, dominance, and social acceptance. And any evidence that exonerates the target only threatens those three benefits.

The target may, in fact, be a great person who would be a great friend to them if they allowed. But bullies will block out that reality because it’s uncomfortable to them and would contradict them. They deliberately eschew any evidence that favors the target- and therefore, any truth to it because anything that proves contrary to their beliefs and opinions of their targeted victim would never fit their narratives.

Any evidence that disproves the bullies’ false narratives put the bullies at risk of being proven wrong and looking like the utter fools they are. Bullies won’t have that! Because it would be a massive blow to their fragile egos. Any facts in favor of the target, the bullies will either explain away, ignore, or destroy. Simply put. Not knowing the truth feels much better to them.

It’s why bullies purposefully keep themselves unaware of any proof that would be in favor of the target. Bullies go to great lengths to avoid being informed because they don’t want to be informed. If the target is such a great guy, the bullies don’t want to know about it! It’s much more convenient (and less painful) to hold onto their opinions- even if those opinions are false.

And if they hear much to the contrary, the bullies will then go hunt for evidence and information that supports their opinions.

They aren’t willing to engage in any thoughtful or intelligent discussion on it. If you try and hold such a discussion, you’re only wasting your time and energy, because if the opinions they hold come strictly from their negative emotions, you won’t change their minds. And it’s not your job to do so!

Deep down inside, your bullies know your potential and your worth. They already know how intelligent and creative you are. They’ve seen that you’re a team player, and you get along with a few others. They’ve seen how loving and caring you are. They know that you’re a great person; only they refuse to acknowledge it. So, is there a need to defend your honor in their presence? Everything about you speaks for itself.

If you’re a target of bullying, it’s tempting to defend yourself because it’s so hard to believe that anyone could be this deaf, dumb, and blind. So, you ask yourself, “Can anyone be this stupid?”

I hate to tell you. But, yes, they can. And they are!

The best thing you can do is to give these people the old heave-ho! Don’t even engage with them. They aren’t worth it! They’re only a waste of space.

Understand that getting rid of these people will save you so much time, energy, and mental stress. It will allow you to be so much happier and more confident in yourself than you ever thought possible!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

12 thoughts on “Bullies, Bystanders, Willful Ignorance, Self-Deceit, and Blind Hatred- How They All Connect

  1. Pingback: Bullies, Bystanders, Willful Ignorance, Self-Deceit, and Blind Hatred- How They All Connect — Chateau Cherie | German Media Watch

  2. Brilliant post. I get highly motivated after reading your blogs. I feel more positive in my approach towards life. Thank you for making such a huge difference.

  3. “Bullies go to great lengths to avoid being informed because they don’t want to be informed.”

    Being informed would involve looking at their own behaviour. A lot of bullies cannot handle the emotional and mental pain that comes from the realisation that they hurt others because they are hurting.

    Bullying only stops once the pain stops for the bully. The answers lies not with the bully, but with the environment that created the bully.

    The generation of people above are a good place to start.

    I can’t see that changing anytime soon. If guidance and love doesn’t work, the safest and easiest method for a victim to live a happy and peaceful life is to practice avoidance.

    • I couldn’t agree more with all your statements, Matt. It sounds like you’re pretty savvy when it comes to the mindsets of bullies and ways to handle them. I like that! 😀

  4. Pingback: Bullies, Bystanders, Willful Ignorance, Self-Deceit, and Blind Hatred- How They All Connect – Tonya LaLonde

  5. I almost cried reading this. You’ve described a situation I’m in with a very close relative, who has proceeded to influence others. I’ve heard those kinds of people go after certain types of people. The whole situation always becomes the responsibility of the person who’s bullied while everyone else goes on with their lives. Even though I have an escape plan in place, sometimes I think the damage is irreversible. Especially in terms of how that person’s manipulations affect relationships with other people.

    But oh well, life goes on. Thanks for sharing!

    • My heart breaks for you and I feel your pain. Know that non of this is your fault no matter what this person or others tell you. I know it’s hard to fight people like this. Know that you have people here who care and because we’ve been where you are, we understand and we believe you. I’m sending a lot of love your way. 💖🕊

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