Bullying is hurtful no matter how confident you are, that much is true. We’re all human and we all have feelings and emotions. However, the effects of it are even more damaging when we’re insecure and only look outside of ourselves for our value, in fact, the damage to the self-esteem is exponentially higher.
The problem is that when you look outside of yourself for your value, you automatically look to others to give it to you. And when you do this, you put yourself at their mercy.
Therefore, I have repeatedly emphasized over six years of blogging that knowing your worth is your foundation and that it’s never good to look outside of ourselves for it. Understand that your value, or worth, whatever term you prefer, comes from within and never from without.
Here’s why it’s better to let your value come from the inside:’
1. You can never control the environment around you. Many times, we will find ourselves in toxic environments full of poisonous people, whether it be the school we attend, the company we work for, or the home or neighborhood we live in. When you know yourself and, in that, know your value and let it come from the inside, any bullying or abuse you’re likely to get from others won’t have such an impact on you.
It will hurt, yes. But it won’t be nearly as devastating and cause you to suppress as much of yourself because, deep down, you’ll know who you are and that the people around you are only saying the things they say to diminish you.
Also, when the crap gets too thick, you’ll know when it’s time to bail out of the environment. In knowing yourself and knowing your worth, you’ll realize that you don’t deserve this kind of treatment and that you’re better off leaving this cesspit and moving on to greener pastures.
And you’ll do it without feeling guilty- you’ll do it knowing that it isn’t because you’re “chicken” or “running away from your problems” but because you deserve better. You’ll know what’s best for you, and that it’s because you’re looking out for the best interests of your health.
2. You can never control others’ behavior and how they think of you. And because of this, it’s never good to rely on the approval of others for your value. Understand that there will always be people who don’t like you and some who even hate you and when you depend solely on the approval of others, you make yourself a doormat. Please, for your own sake and the sake of your mental health, don’t give another person that kind of power!
When your value comes from within, you will have respect for yourself, you will love yourself and you will have great self-esteem. You will give yourself compassion and care when others take pot shots at you. You will have the confidence and courage to protect yourself and stand up to abuse. You will know without a shadow of a doubt that the idiots around you are the ones who have the issues and not you.
Your value should always from you. Never from another. You get your value from knowing who you are and knowing that you were put on this earth for a good reason. Realize that everyone serves a good and higher purpose here. You may or may not know what that purpose is, but you are here for a purpose. Find that purpose and fulfill it. And know your value!
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Absolutely great insight…loved it
Thank you so much. 😊🤗
This fabulous post is very close to my heart. I used to worry what people would say, think or feel about me. I used to worry whether I have offended anyone and that person regarded me as a bad girl. After going through several traumatic experiences, I realized that it’s impossible to please everyone in this world, no matter how good you are! Now I am leading a very happy life and feel that we are answerable only to our God and our conscience.
Bingo! I love your comment and I agree! It sounds like you’re growing and you are on the right path! I’m so proud of you! 💖🎉🌹
Thank you so much. Your words of encouragement and appreciation mean a lot to me.
You’re most welcome. 😊
You should newer think what others think about you is my opinion. I dont care what others say. All people can’t be equal. Many people judge how someone looks outside. Beauty is in people heart
I just read a really great post at Banter Republic blog and one line was “When you realize your self worth, you’ll stop giving people discounts.” Perfectly aligned to the points you’re making here!
Thank you so much! 💖 Sadly, it takes years before most of us learn our self-worth. Banter Republic is an awesome blog, I need to get over there!
Indeedy. Yes it’s a great blog. Most times he has me cracking up from laughter but his points are spot on!!!!
Me too! 😃 He’s a very talented comedian!
That he is!!
I read that too
Cool!!!
These points are so important to remember. Thank you for the great post!
You’re most welcome, Sara! 💖💐🌹
Absolutely great 👍
Thank you so much, Alfreda! 💖💐
Do you value yourself? 🤔 Wow Cherie, what a self-defining, self-examining question. I love it! This brings it home:
“The problem is that when you look outside of yourself for your value, you automatically look to others to give it to you. And when you do this, you put yourself at their mercy.”
Excellent message and you defined your points so radiantly my dear! 🎆😊🌟🤗💖😁🦋
Thank you so much, Kym! 💖 Your inspiration is worth more than gold, sweetie! 🕊💐🌹💫
Oh Cherie, you are soooo welcome as always. I applaud your tenacity to help others through your revelations from personal experiences and observations. You’re brave and I admire that my dear friend. Keep soaring! 🦅💖🦋
Always, sweetie! 🦋🦅🕊
Thank you for this!
You’re most welcome. 🙂
Blessings.
Blessings back atcha. <3
This blog is beautiful! Truly hit the heart and speaks TRUTH! Thank you for sharing this!
You’re most welcome! And thank you so much for your thoughts. You encourage me more than you know. <3
Wonderful post!
Thank you so much. I’m so glad you like it. My hope is that the message gives hope to many. Sending lot of love and light your way. <3
Hello. Can you check latest blog about animals ant tell you opinion. 🤗🙏👍
I sure can. Give me a few minutes and I’ll brb.
Ok thanks
Your blog is hard to get to on the web. Let me see if I can get to it through Reader. BRB
Ok
It’s a done deal. You post was well-written and I’ve posted my comment.
Thank you. You can’t load my website?
Not from the web, maybe it’s something in the settings, I don’t know.
Only this one post or other to?
The whole site. I use Mozilla Firefox so maybe their servers are the problem. I don’t know. But there are other ways to get to your site and Reader is one of them.
What web browser do you use?
Mozilla Firefox.
I must check
If you’re try other blog to open is same problem?
I got to your site through Reader. Easy peezy! 🙂
And with google or duckduck go?
google is good. I used duckduckgo and it was fine.
Now it work if you enter fastlivenostress.online ?
It does through google or firefox. Mozilla may be having an issue but they usually fix it.
Where do you live?
Tennessee, USA
I live in Austria . Near border Hungary
It’s a pleasure to meet you. Austria is a beautiful country I hear.
Yeah. We have now you must become covid injection. If you dont then 700-1500 dollars
That’s not right. In my country, we believe that one should have sovereignty over their own body. If you don’t have sovereignty over your own body, then you have no freedom let. Our leaders are trying to do the same to us but we push back.
Are leaders becoming much much money from pffizer. First was astra zeneca,sinopharm, Johnson,moderna. Now is only pffizer. You must wear mask. If you dont have COVID injection then you can buy. Only groceries. Its sad. I think this is how in bible. Number of beast. If you don’t have then you can’t sell or buy.
True. But too many of the people are fighting back. I believe they might be pushing their mark before it’s time.
I must check this. Many people can’t visit me
mozilla it didn’t do so well. Google and duckduckgo were fine.
Have people who read on other platforms
I tried google and duckduckgo and got to it. Maybe it’s something with Firefox.
Ok 👍🤗🙏. I was afraid that dont work. I payed for this year 500 dollars that should work fine.
Wow! That’s high! But it’s the browsers that sometimes screw up.
I pay extra more for security
Great message…. Love it
Thank you so much. 😊
Very encouraging words, thank you Cherie.
You’re most welcome, Michael! 😊
When we exercise empathy not only for others but ourselves we we see clarity. Brilliant blog 😇
Thank you so much. This means a lot. 💖
A grand slam article. Knocked it out of the park!
Thank you so much, Jack! 🙂
I took this post to heart because it really speaks to me. ♥️
This means so much. You don’t know how much this warms my heart. I’m so thankful you got such positivity out of this article. 😊🤗🕊
I think you can really relate to my sensitivities concerning these issues. Thank you! 🤗♥️🌺
💖💐🌹🦋🕊
Absolutely 💯💯 I was saying the same thing yesterday to one of my friends…and I would love to share this to her…..💫💫💫
Thank you so much! 😊 Feel free to share this with your friend. May many blessings come your way.
Very well expressed!❣️❣️ Sending u lots of love & positive vibes from India😊😊
Thank you so much, Prachi. 🕊
So much of this comes from the pain those bullied regularly feel. So many lack self confidence. Many times someone may have been bullied as a child and not as much as an adult (though adults can be bullied too) but they never regain their self-esteem and often times the bullied go looking outside of themselves for relief. Sometimes this even involves alcohol or drug abuse to numb the pain or bad relationships where they just want someone to pay them attention or they mistake sex for love. You have to get confident within your own self and that’s hard for many to do.
You’re exactly right with everything you mentioned here. And sadly, doing so can take years. It took me years and I had tonput in a lot of inner work.
Yes, we need to set some compassion boundaries to know our values. Feeling good and worthy is the catalyst to do more good.
You’re absolutely right, Zao! If we don’t feel good, we don’t do good and we’re not fun to be around. I so appreciate your comment. 😀
You’re most welcome😁