Funny but Wise Advice My Grandmothers Gave Me

Father told a funny story to his son.

1. Before you get in the car to go somewhere, make sure you’re wearing a good pair of underwear with no holes in them. You never know when you might get in an accident and they have to cut your clothes off of you.

2. Don’t sleep in the nude. You never know when your house might catch fire in the middle of the night.

If you remember your grandmother’s wise but funny nuggets of advice, feel free to comment below.

101 thoughts on “Funny but Wise Advice My Grandmothers Gave Me

  1. One grandma told me, “Clean as you go,” and “Chin up, shoulders back.” (She was short like me.) The other grandma told me “Count your blessings.” All that advice was good.๐Ÿ˜ƒโค

    • Awesome, girl! Our grannies were some wise women! I remember when my grandmother told me and my siblings, we just fell out laughing! She had a way of making it fun! ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. My grandmother says that we should not leave the milk Tumblr near beds at late night or else the lizard will come and lick out faces and specifically lips…I know doesn’t make sense according to your blog…but seriously creppy….๐Ÿคฃ

    • Oh, sweetie, we weren’t laughing at her! We were laughing with her because she was laughing too when she said it. Both my grandmothers had a flair for making everything entertaining! I’m very blessed to have had grandmothers who were comediennes! It was all in good fun.<3

          • Chรฉrie in her chateau. What a dumb wannabe French whore. The most stupid US cow on the internet. The whole blog full of dumb stuff, no wonder people are mobbing you. You deserve it. Au revoir Chรฉrie. Keep pissing nonsense about your grandma. You probably inherited her idiocy. It seems to be genetic.

          • ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ You’re only exposing yourself to be a bully. Please keep talking. I love exposing bullies like you. It’ so fun. ๐Ÿ˜œ

    • I remember my maternal grandmother telling a story about when she was growing up. It wasn’t funny at the time it happened but after everyone knew they were okay, the nude part was funny later. There was a couple living down the street and their house caught fire. When the fire brigade showed up, the couple were hiding in the bushes and they wouldn’t come out because they were starkers! The firemen had to throw them a blanket before they’d come out! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

    • Yep! I think a lot of parents and grandparents gave their kids that advice! ๐Ÿ˜€ Parents and grandparents definitely know what they’re talking about. We may not realize it when we’re kids and think we know everything! But we get it later!

      My grandma even added that the nurses who cut you out of your clothes will get behind closed doors and talk about the holes in your drawers! LOLOLOL That was enough to embarrass us into making sure we had good underpants on under our clothes! ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Wow! I heard something similar. But instead of your foot cramping up, we were told that we’d get a foot caught under the pedals. I hadn’t thought of that until you mentioned it! Thank you so much for bringing back a wonderful memory! ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒน

  3. I guess grandmothers, and mothers are the same everywhere, in my younger days I heard similar advice!๐Ÿคฃ

  4. Too cute! Love these! Grandma’s sayings weren’t near as cute as the way she just talked, in general. She used ol’ Ozark hillbilly talk and us girls would giggle. She’d say, “You girls are just a bunch of giggle boxes!” She did call us her little “pooters” and we’d laugh out loud. My Dad’s mom, Grandma Hale, told me when you reach 70 you can say whatever you want. ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿค๐Ÿ˜Š

  5. My grandmother thought Rolaids was a cure all now matter what was wrong she would give us a Rolaids and tell us it will made us feel better lol So now I joke with my sons and my husband about it lol

  6. My grandmother told me: 1. Pretty dishes don’t guarantee a good meal. 2. It is as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one – pick the rich one. 3. Take every opportunity to shower with your husband – it’s fun! 4. You can’t make a silk purse from a sows ear. It took me a longtime to figure out #1 and 4… but they are very good and sound advice!

  7. My grandma told me to ” Drink water while sitting” and ” Whenever worship Goddess Durga , tie up Your hair ( never worship Goddess Durga in open hair) ๐Ÿ™‚ I hope you Know about Goddess Durga. ๐Ÿ˜…

  8. Um, donโ€™t know if this made the comments anywhere, but if you get in an accident bad enough they have to cut you out, youโ€™re going to soil yourself entirely. My mom was a nurseโ€ฆ that youโ€™re wearing underwear with holes in them will be the last thing on the mind of anyone caring for you. Be comfortable first.

    • You’re absolutely right- you won’t care. All you’ll care about is pain relief because Ive been in a bad car wreck and it was hell- two months in the hospital and at Christmas time to boot. But some if those nurses will surely talk about it later. It’s shameful but true.

      • I don’t quite know what you’re referring to in terms of nurses “talking about it later”. My mom told me general stories about things she experienced but the only story she went into detail about was the little boy who died of cancer that she cared for before he died, just before I was born. Everything else was generalities about real life vs the Hollywood version of what happens, or stories about what not to do – like don’t ride a lawnmower with the blades engaged because she has to care for kids whose father dropped them beneath the deck and it’s just not worth it… never names, never details. I don’t know of any nurses who would get into detail, mainly out of common decency, but also to protect their job. You have to be a special kind of person to care for others. Jerks get through, but rarely last in that profession.

        • I didn’t say ALL nurses. I said SOME nurses! I worked in the medical field, Jim. I knew some nurses who were bullies and YES! They talked about that among themselves. They also bullied the good nurses, Jim! This has nothing to do with your mother. It isn’t about her and I’m not painting all nurses with one brush. Iโ€™ve known some fine nurses but I’ve known others who were cliquey. There are rotten apples in every profession! Thank you!

          • Cherie, there are rotten people and bullies everywhere. None of them had anything to do with my comment. I was simply wondering why you took it there. Itโ€™s all good, though. Iโ€™ll leave it alone.

  9. Wise grandmothers! My grandmother was against the idea of handing us umbrellas lest we lose it and bring bad luck upon us. So get wet rather than get unlucky was her mantra.

    • Wow! I knew a few that did that too. I knew another who made you take your shoes off at the door when she’d gotten through sweeping and I don’t blame her- it was like that back in those days. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿค—

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