When People Lump You into A Category Based on The Bad Behavior of Someone Close to You

I hear these stories all the time from people who have a ne’er do well brother, an uncle who’s the town drunk, or a sister who’s notorious for being promiscuous. But whether your dad did a stint in prison, or your mom is perceived by others to be the town nut-job, know that these are things you have no control over and therefore, are not your responsibility. You aren’t defined by the lousy choices or unfortunate circumstances of a few relatives.

Yes, I know that the judgement people heap on top of you hurts and hurts terribly, but I want you to know that you’re an innocent person in all of it. You’re an individual and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of anything because you’ve done nothing wrong. Realize that humans have a bad habit of lumping people into categories, whether justly or unjustly. And they’re wrong for painting you with the same brush based on bad choices a few of your family members made.

People also do this with different races and ethnic groups as well. It seems that many automatically think that all Blacks are thugs, all Whites are racist, all Native Americans are savages, all Hispanics are illegal aliens and so forth.

Yes, I’ve heard all the above statements throughout high school, in a few workplaces, even in the news media and it’s all garbage! We should all know that none of it is true. There are some of the greatest, loving, and most tenderhearted people in every race and there are many who don’t live up to the ignorant stereotypes that society likes to hoist upon them.

Therefore, I want you to know that anyone who puts you in a category with a few evil bad apples, or people who’ve simply made bad choices, doesn’t know the individual you. They do not know your heart nor your inner reality. And they don’t know what you think and feel.

Nobody can possibly know these things but you and God. And if they claim they do know, they’re only playing God by claiming to know the unknowable. Realize that when people perceive you to be someone you aren’t, their thoughts and opinions aren’t worthy of even being considered and you shouldn’t place any value to them.

In fact, you should kick these people to the curb because they aren’t worth your time nor energy. You deserve people in your life who get you- who love you for you and the good you bring to this world.

So, know that you deserve better and that you are not the labels others stick to you.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

37 thoughts on “When People Lump You into A Category Based on The Bad Behavior of Someone Close to You

  1. Exactly 💯!!!
    We should be treated as individuals and our actions should be what defining us ….. And no one else’s actions should have a judgement on us!!!
    Loved it Great post!!💕

  2. Lumping people into categories doesn’t account for the possibility of change. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and struggles with something. Somehow some struggles have been glorified over others. Doesn’t make anyone of them more or less difficult for the person going through the challenge.

    Instead of gossiping and judging, why not be a hero and come along side and walk wounded through the storm?

  3. I used to be like that but it took intolerance towards me to make me ‘see the light’ and become less judgemental. I was judged back in the 80s for having long hair, an earring and wearing Native American moccasin boots. I was labelled weird or worse things. It didn’t matter that I worked two jobs, was a Dean’s List student and most importantly, had served my country. So once again, Cherie, you are absolutely spot on with this post. Look at the individual and not their race, circumstances, past mistakes, religion etc.

  4. We definitely all make assumptions. I used to view and judge my neighbors as perfectionists. Turns out I’m the one who was the perfectionist. A turning point for me is realizing people project their own stuff onto others. Becoming self aware is our superpower. 🥰

    • Absolutely right about everything! 💯 And I used to do the same, unfortunately. Projecting our own faults unto others is exactly what we do, and it’s sad.

  5. Loved how you dissected who “they” are and who “you” are. We are not defined by other people’s character or behavior, although as you noted stereotypes are brutal and can assassinate someone’s character. Who doesn’t have several family skeletons in their closet? 🤔 If they say they don’t then they are lying. I love the way you summed it all up: “Realize that when people perceive you to be someone you aren’t, their thoughts and opinions aren’t worthy of even being considered and you shouldn’t place any value to them.” 🤨🤜🏽🤛🏽🌞 Great post, Cherie!!! 👏🏽💖🥰

  6. Beautiful article very well written yes we all deserve those types of people who love us think good for us . Thanks for sharing 😊👌❤

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