Your Reputation Is Not Your Character

Bullying can be a big weight and a burden with negative influence – Bullying role and impact symbolized by a heavy prisoner’s weight attached to a person, 3d illustration.

“Your reputation is what others think of you; your character is what you truly are. Reputations can be manipulated; character can only be developed and maintained.”

~ Bohdi Sanders ~

All too often, when a person is bullied, his/her reputation takes a big hit due to the many ugly rumors and lies which are spread by their tormentors. Remember that bullying is a campaign.

Just as a politician would go from house to house and business to business, kissing babies and shaking hands with people on the street while giving a spiel of why they’re the best person for the office they’re running for, bullies do the same. They go from person to person spinning their yarn about why no one should associate with the target.

Bullies/Peer Abusers engage everyone, even friends and family of the victim, pulling false accusations out of thin air and making them sound so convincing that others find the lies difficult not to believe.

Tormentors may also use a “tiny grain of truth,” which may be a simple mistake the victim might have made in the past (possibly an error which anybody could have made at any time), then add their spin to it, making it worse and more significant than what it is to make the story even more believable.

Moreover, harassers may use subtle provocations, taunts, and assaults to bait the victim into a reaction, then turn around and use his/her perfectly normal human response as further proof that he/she is a less than desirable person (crazy, stupid, evil, etc.).

Businessman not listening to nonsense.

You must realize that bullies are sociopaths. They have a wealth of superficial charm at their disposal and are masters in the arts of persuasion and influence. People of this nature are very skilled wordsmiths, which is why they are seemingly able to pull a complete fabrication out of their butts and make it smell sweet and sound plausible.

Because of this oozing charm that most seasoned bullies possess, they can encourage bystanders and sometimes authority (teachers, principals, monitors, etc.) to join in the torment.

After being attacked for so long, it’s too easy for victims to become worn down and go the “eye for an eye” route and return the attacks (physically or verbally). Although defending oneself is a perfectly reasonable response to assaults, victims are forced to be cautious in their counter-attacks and very carefully choose their battles because a well-experienced bully can easily use any reactions to validate any rumors lies about them.

Before long, even those who aren’t normally bullies will either shun or brutalize the selected target. Thus, the reputation of the innocent victim is tarnished and will take years to repair.

With all the above combined, bullies can be a weapon of mass destruction to their victims, ripping them to shreds and destroying any credibility they once had. Right or wrong, once credibility is lost, victims are powerless and have almost zero chance of redeeming themselves, and opportunities can be lost even before they present themselves.

If you are a target of bullying, I want to assure you that your reputation DOES NOT equal your character. You are an intelligent, goodhearted person, and you are worthy of being loved regardless of how others may perceive you.

As difficult as it may be to do so, you must never let your reputation define you. Never let bullies dim your shine! Hold on, with everything you have in you, to your remarkable qualities, even if you have to remind yourself that you are a great person every day! Hold on to your faith and your dignity! Hold on to TRUTH!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

43 thoughts on “Your Reputation Is Not Your Character

  1. Society is an abbatoir reflecting the values of the psychotic elites…ignore it if you want to die with some vestige of a soul

  2. I have learnt one thing in this rude world of bullies, to say, ‘No, I am not buying your all bulshit. Say whatever you feel like but I don’t agree with your version so, I will think good about me.’ I don’t retaliate on others because I once knew the hurt, it causes but yes I give my peace of mind to the bullies.

  3. Pingback: Your Reputation Is Not Your Character – Tonya LaLonde

  4. ‘Reputation does not define you’ – I am just repeatedly saying that to myself every time! As a teenager, I believed reputation is everything and I’ve faced a lot of trouble because of that.

  5. Wow, talk about coincidence… I wrote about this topic myself today. Since I started speaking out in this website almost a year ago, I have had a lot of people from my past reach out to me in support. Some saw those sites online about me and ignored them, others had no idea about them. I have come to see it don’t matter, as that is my reputation and good or bad, it isn’t really important anymore. I came to see the most important thing, is how I feel about myself. I am rebuilding how I look at myself these days, my self-esteem and confidence took a real big hit with all this due to the PTSD I already had, and I am getting there. Thank you for your words!

    • You’re most welcome, Stella! I’ll now go read the post you referred to. But before I do, I want to tell you just how proud I am of you for doing the inner work to love yourself again! I believe a good life is right around the corner for you! 💖💐🌺

      • Thank you Cherie! I feel much, much better than I have in a long, long time. There is a calmness inside I haven’t felt in many years. The past year has been a tough one, but the work I have done was worth it for me.

  6. This one is huge. We live in a negative and frankly sheep society. Look at how people vote. They usually vote how their friends or parents or spouse vote without even considering their own convictions or knowing anything about the candidates. I was guilty of this and I remember one time taking a political leaning test which listed all the various positions on issues and found out I wasn’t a Democrat or Republican, my beliefs actually were more third party! It is like that in school and throughout society as well. People love the negative and they love the gossip and you can do 99 good things and screw up just once and your reputation be destroyed for a mistake or often times someone telling a lie. And most people never consider the character of the person and how good he/she is 90 percent of the time! I have met people who maybe didn’t have the best reputation but after I got to know them, they became some of my favorite people and I grew to understand what was said about them was either not true or I never considered their position. We need to also remember so much is subjective like looks.

    • Amen on all of it! 💯 You made such great points here. And sadly, once a person’s good name is destroyed, no one wants to give them a chance because, as you said, people love the negative. It’s sad.

  7. Oh that tiny grain of truth as you said girlfriend. And yes ma’am reputation and character are two different things…what you’re known by vs. what you truly are. 😲 Excellent post Cherie. It’s amazing how bullies can try to manipulate just about anything just to have their way, can’t they? SMH 🙄😱🤯 The nerve of those narcissists! 😠

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