Naivete is Your Worst Enemy When You’re a Target of Bullying

We all have been naïve at some point in our lives. But over time, we grow, we accumulate lessons learned and life experiences, some good and some not so good, then we become wise. Some people become sage quicker and others slower. What counts is that we eventually learn it doesn’t matter the pace.

However, the fact is that some people stay naïve for a long time, not that this is necessarily a bad thing and it’s not their fault. Sometimes, environmental reasons are why we take longer than others to realize what reality can bring- maybe we live in a sheltered environment, maybe we have a secure family and home life and, as a result, believe in the goodness in all people. Again, this is not a bad thing. However, it can mark us for bullying, abuse, and usery.

Bullies can smell naivete a mile away and it’s the main factor that determines their choice of targets. Any time you’re a target of bullying, you can’t afford to be naïve. However, the sad reality is that most people targeted for bullying are, in fact, naïve and, again, it’s the reason they’re so often selected by bullies and abusers for victimization.

When I was young, I was naïve when it came to people. I believed that all people were inherently good, and I believed it to a fault. I can admit that today. And the bullying I suffered years ago smartened me up when it came to the duality of human beings.

And like I was, most targets are empaths and hold the same belief- that all people are inherently good and would never deliberately aim to harm another human being without a darn good reason.

As children, we’re taught to think positively, and things will work out for the best. This is not to say that we shouldn’t think positively because we should. However, many of us fail to take into consideration that there are some bad people out there who have evil intentions.

Also, we live in a competitive world full of people like these- people who want to take what we have and people who want to hurt us. Failure to realize these harsh truths will only subject targets of bullying to years of abuse as the bullying will only go unaddressed.

Understand that bullies, especially those in power, will always win unless we learn to spot them ahead of time and learn strategies to counter their attacks. And we can only learn to counter them when we accept the truth- the presence of bad people in the world.

We must realize that once bullies have their sights set on you, they won’t just disappear. Bullies are very persistent with their goals to harm you and ultimately destroy you. It’s a hard truth to swallow because we all want to believe that all humans are good, but the fact is that many of them are monsters.

Not everyone believes in treating others as they would like to be treated. We know that bullies think they’re good people even as they destroy the lives of their targets.

When we’re naïve, we’re vulnerable because with out people-knowledge, we’ll continue to take abuse. We must gain knowledge of the bully mindset and the motivations and intentions behind each tactic bullies use.

Only then will we be able to protect ourselves and ward off bullies.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

25 thoughts on “Naivete is Your Worst Enemy When You’re a Target of Bullying

  1. Many people are like the psychopath in No Country for Old Men. Hard to see ’em coming. But once you catch wise, there’s no stopping the momentum to uncover all that’s been used to do one harm. The experience, though, leaves me leery of all people. That’s the downside.

  2. That’s very true. I’m still realizing this in my 30’s if you can believe it. O.O Better late than never – these people do not mess around and you’re right, they think they have the right and power to destroy others.

    • Thank you so much, Sara. I’m like you. Although I started reading and researching bullies and bullying in 1995, at 24 years old, many things I didn’t realize until in my 30’s. So don’t feel bad, sweetie! 💖💐🌺🌻🌞

  3. Arranged marriages are classic environments for the new bride is bullied. Naive or no, some people don’t get to choose their environments. The entire social structure forbids it.

    • Absolutely right, Sue! Some cultures do have a tight grip of control over women’s lives that they cannot escape a toxic environment! This makes me think of a movie I saw a few years ago, “The Stoning of Soraya M.”

      • I am glad you are so aware of this issue, Cherie, because it might inspire a total change of mindset. Cultures have to change when they create a climate of abuse. Otherwise, there is an overly romantic view of their plight.

        • You’re right, Sue! There’s a lot that needs to change and slowly but surely, attitudes are beginning to change on bullying, maybe not as fast as we want, but they’re changing. Bless you! 💖🌺💐🌞

  4. I was very naive, I lived where I worked and had minimal interactions with the outside world. I lived for my job for many years and didn’t pay attention too much to people and their antics. I didn’t have the interest or the energy. I became so depressed over the actions of the bullies as I couldn’t understand why they were calling me such bad names and accusing me of saying words I never even heard of. With your help in 2018, I started my education and am no longer so naive. I agree tho, the downside is that I find it hard now to trust. It takes a lot to gain my trust, and words don’t mean much anymore, it is the actions I look at. Yes, it was the worst thing for me to be, naive over what others can do.

    • We were all naive once upon a time, Stella. And once we’re bullied, we learn so much about the levels of low people are capable of stooping to. And these are hard lessons. I’m so proud that you’re recovering and that you’re learning about the evils that human beings are capable of. Sending you lots of love and hugs! 💖🌺🌻🌞🤗

      • Thank you Cherie, yes, I have learned a lot and some of it was hard for me to accept, but I have. Sending you lots of love and big hugs too! I appreciate your support.

  5. Let me give your “naivete” a twist. Over the years I have learned that being naive can work in my favor.
    I sometimes play “dumb” around people. So, I play ask a “thousand questions”. It is amazing how much they will reveal of their true character. Now, I have learned how to do this in a smart way. Doing it in a wrong manner could leave “egg” on your face.
    I don’t recommend others to try this unless they are confident, self-assured, and very sure of their own character.

  6. Engaging and thought provoking article as usual 🙂. Being naive and innocent to the actions and words of bullies and abusers definitely leads to more suffering for the victims. I think developing more self awareness, confidence and emotional resilience are some key elements to alleviate suffering and become more empowered. Of course these are not easy things to achieve but I feel most come with age and experience. 🙂👍

    • You’re absolutely right, Paul! Self-awareness, confidence, and emotional resilience do mostly come with age. Thank you so much for your thoughts on this topic and thank you for your kindness and support! 😊🤗

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