Always Mirror the Bully to Disarm and Intimidate Them into Leaving You Alone

If a bully cuts their eyes at you, return the gesture. If she tries to stare you down, never look away because she will only take that as fear, and from then on, you’ll be her new source of power. Always glare back without blinking and stand with your feet apart and arms akimbo to take up some space. This is known as a “power pose.”

You may have to stand that way and stare for a while if she sees your response as a challenge, but if you hold your position long enough, she’ll finally get tired and move on.

Understand that any time a person uses this type of body language toward you without provocation, they are clearly saying that they’re superior to you and attempting to dominate you. So always, always reciprocate any dirty looks and dominate or intimidating body language. Assert your power this way, and soon, the bully will get the message that you’re confident, fearless, and not one she should mess with.

independent 20s girl with threatening body language

It’s not what you say. It’s what you do. Nonverbal communication is over eighty percent of communication. Talk is cheap, and if your words don’t match your body language, bullies will pick up on it, and they will eat you alive!

If you’re the timid type, there are plenty of books you can read to learn confident body language and power pose. Once you read, practice, and learn what nonverbal cues convey power, you must practice those poses until they become comfortable to you.

Remember that bullies always target someone they perceive to be lacking in confidence, timid, and insecure because that person is least likely to fight back. To look confident, fearless, and secure, practice open body language.

Stand with your feet apart and arms uncrossed (crossed arms are closed body language and make you look insecure and untrustworthy). When a bully confronts you, never look down or away. Always look the bully in the eye, and she will see that you aren’t afraid and likely move on to someone else.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

66 thoughts on “Always Mirror the Bully to Disarm and Intimidate Them into Leaving You Alone

  1. When the bully is a schoolboy, and his target looks at him in the eyes, returning the gesture, the bully will most likely attack. I mean, physical attack, like an angry monkey. He gets even more annoyed when you look at his face somewhere above his eyes. 🙂

  2. More great advice I wish I had back in the day. With body language, I would go from one extreme to the other. When I was in the marines, I used to saunter around like I was Billy Badass. While it kept the bullies away, it put people off as well.

  3. I found over the years that open face, direct bullying is far more easy to deal with than the subtilties of triggers that those who know us well can use. They can smile at a table full of guests and shoot a bullet no one else catches. The ones who hurt me me most were supposed close childhood friendships and family members who targeted me for a reaction.

    • You said that perfectly, Rock! You’re so right! And they do it not only to hurt you but to shut you up. In using the subtleties, they mentally tie you up and gag you. Awesome comment! You inspired a future post!

  4. I agree! I always think about cats in situations like this. If you ever watch a cat they will hiss at one another, will stare each other down and arch their back to appear bigger. But watch the eyes especially. If one cat is intimidated during the stare down, their eyes will get big and they will cower down admitting they don’t want the challenge. I think in some ways humans have to do that, do not be afraid of that stare down. Even walking with your head down is seen sometimes as a sign of submission and a bully looks for that. If he/she acts or looks intimidated they feel even more open to torment someone else because they know the person is not going to defend themselves.

    Even among siblings, there is a certain amount of that who is the dominant one and a lot of it comes down to body language. Watch any sport and watch athletes get in each other’s face etc. It is all about are you going to stand in there or not.

    • Absolutely right! 💯 Cats are a perfect example of this! And you’re right again about posture! Never ever look down, always stand up straight, and walk with a purpose! That’s how you lessen your chance of being bully-bait!

  5. My sister in law was able to reduce Mum and me to tears by glaring many times.. One day her daughter handed Mum a tissue as she left in retreat.. my Mum did a wrong thing to her but my sister in law never forgave.. so it was complex but even today I was saying to my therapist how she hated dogs calling them pathetic.. this just makes me realize its horrible to live with such a calcified heart.. This is good advice.. being intimidated leads no where good.

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