A Few Former Bullies Succumbed to Suicide

Hurt people hurt people. As we know, bullies bully because either they’re having emotional pain themselves, or they’re arrogant and truly believe they are superior. Nevertheless, bullies do struggle with mental illness, and yes, many succumb to suicide, which is beyond sad. Neither mental illness nor suicide discriminate.

The bullies who are hurting are more likely to commit suicide than their arrogant counterparts. However, many arrogant bullies also commit suicide when they take a huge downfall and cannot cope.

Nonetheless, the fact remains that many bullies do end up taking their own lives. Some of my former classmates did and I feel terrible for them. Regardless of how horribly they may have treated me, I would never wish that kind of ending on my worst enemies.

Again, we should never take pleasure when we hear of anyone dying by their own hand, it doesn’t matter how evil and disgusting the person may have been while they were living.

It’s a horrible thing to befall a human being! And, the most heartbreaking thing is that these classmates never lived long enough to see their lives get better. I have no doubt that, had they found the will to go on living, things certainly would’ve improved for them.

Hurt People Hurt People

Christy was one of those bullies. She died by suicide in 2004 at the age of thirty-two. She was one of those mean girls in middle school who seemed to enjoy inflicting pain. However, she dropped out in the ninth grade and her life slowly took a nosedive over several years. Unbeknownst to me and many others, Christy struggled with mental illness. She battled so many demons that few of us know anything about.

After we were out of school, I ran into Christy a few times after my kids were born and she still attempted to bully me. She would yell curses in the store parking lot as I loaded my groceries in my car and my babies in their safety seats. Therefore, I would only roll my eyes and scoff at her, then go about my business. However, had I known she’d recently gone through a divorce and lost her children, I might have reached out to her.

I wasn’t made aware of the details until after she was already gone. Someone, who had been close to Christy, filled me in that she was severely co-dependent. Since her divorce, she’d gone through a rash of failed relationships. The men she’d dated had only used her for what they could get from her, then dumped her. And, when the last man tossed her away, Christy broke.

Moreover, it didn’t help that she was already suffering from bipolar disorder. Consequently, she took a shotgun, went outside in the back yard, put it under her chin, and pulled the trigger. And the saddest of all is that she left behind two children.

A Downward Spiral

When I was informed of this, I was both shocked and horrified. Also, at the time, I felt disappointed in her. I wondered why she would allow some guy who, obviously, wasn’t worth her time, to drive her to such extremes. I also wondered if she’d thought of her children and who would raise them.

Back then, I was learning but still didn’t know near as much about suicide and mental illness as I do now. Therefore, I might have been a little judgmental of her without meaning to. Although I, myself, had survived a suicide attempt as a teenager, I still didn’t empathize with her like I should’ve. Nevertheless, my heart broke not only for her, but more so, those babies, who were now without a mother.

Though I don’t condone the things Christy did nor how she acted when she was alive, I do understand why. She was hurting badly and needed to make someone else hurt so that she can feel better. Hence the reason I don’t hate bullies, I pity them instead.

In 2016, another school bully, Lori, also committed suicide, only under different circumstances. She’d gone from a popular cheerleader and choir girl who looked down on those who weren’t as socially fortunate, to being a teacher who was bullied and mobbed at the school in which she taught.

She was a wife and mother of a teenage daughter and small toddler. However, because she was despised at work, she was fired from the career she loved. Sadly, Lori also suffered from bipolar disorder.

Suicide is Felt Most by Loved Ones Left Behind

Therefore, she went home, took an overdose of pills, and never woke up. Even sadder was that her daughter was the person who found her later that day. However, how much would her circumstances have improved had she chosen to power through and keep going?

As I write this, I also look back to 1987, when one of my school bullies lost his older brother, Chris, to suicide. I don’t know if the older brother was a bully. For all I know, he may have been a target. However, I do know that he struggled with mental illness. Although I don’t know much about what drove him to take his life, I do remember what a few reliable sources told me. They told me that he’d jumped off a bridge over a set of railroad tracks.

Moreover, I can venture a good guess why Chris’ younger brother bullied me and a few others at school. And why he would go as far as to slam his books down on my head on many occasions. Could it be that his bullying me was the only way he could cope with the loss of his brother? Is it possible that he himself was struggling with mental illness, being as mental illnesses tend to run in families?

What heights could Chris have accomplished had he mustered the will to live? What joys in life could he have basked in later?

If You Are a Target, Here are questions you should ponder when it comes to your bullies:

1. When a bully bullies, what is it that they are trying to hide?

2. What is it about themselves that he’s trying to distract others from by bullying you?

3. Is the bully projecting onto you what she perceives to be a flaw in herself?

4. And what possible mental illnesses does the bully have that they’re so desperately trying to cover up?

5. Is the bully using you as a distraction from some shortcoming they themselves have?

Where Would They Be Today?

It’s sad that many of my bullies from school are now deceased, and not only from suicide, but auto accidents, a plane crash, and a few ATV accidents.

Rebecca Kee, Robin Tatum, Heath Bennett, Billy Goodman, Kevin Hearnsberger, Aaron Schuh, Janessa Holt, and many other classmates never got to live full lives and that’s tragic. Some of them never knew the joy of having their first child. Others will never see the birth of their first grandchildren, nor will they see retirement.

The icy-cold hands of death snatch away so many would-bes! So many goals, dreams, joys, and togetherness are dashed! And that’s the worst part.

That’s why I urge you to give yourself a chance if you’re enduring what seems to be impossible situations. Know that it never rains a full three hundred and sixty-five days. That in itself is proof that things will always improve if you don’t give up. You are worth fighting for and you’re worth living for! Always remember that!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

18 thoughts on “A Few Former Bullies Succumbed to Suicide

  1. That’s what I struggle with often with faith. To love as Christ does and it’s not easy. It’s hard to let go of hurt and anger with those who do wrong to you but I have found if you can let it go and try to understand why they are the way they are it helps you because you are letting go of anger and bitterness that can bring your life down. Still isn’t easy.

    • You’re absolutely right, Keith! 💯 It’s one of the hardest things to do. However, hate will only eat you up inside. Therefore, it’s hard either way you choose to go. And I refuse to let anyone cause me to hate. So, I choose the former. Although difficult, letting go is much better because it frees you. For years, I harbored intense anger toward my classmates. But I don’t anymore and haven’t for years. Writing my book helped me heal in more ways than one. It allowed me to moved on and leave all that hidden toxic hate and anger behind. Hate imprisons you, but letting go and loving frees you! ❤️❤️❤️

  2. I was bullied. Former bully and schoolmate had, indeed, mental issues. However, adults around us knew about it and enabled my bully to go on with his behavior. I was driven into anxiety and ultimately, the bullying was one of the reasons why I dropped out of high school. I’m not specifically upset with my bully. He had people in his corner and hence, he made it and he’s thriving. I was left all alone, and I’m still dealing with the aftermath, years later. I’m terribly upset at the adults who were supposed to solve the issues between us and they didn’t. Perhaps I can forgive my bully, but I can’t find a good enough explanation which would help me forgive the adults.
    I’m sorry to hear about your bully. Bipolar and divorce are not a good match. Such an unfortunate turn of events. Thanks for sharing from your experience with us.

    • I’m so sorry he put you through such hellish torment, sweetie. 😥💔 And I’m sorry the adults didn’t have the guts or the decency to reach our to you and hold him responsible. Know that you have a friend and that I do care. And know that non of it was your fault and that there was never anything wrong with you. Your bully had the issue and probably still does.

  3. This is quite an emotional message Cherie, and thank you for addressing such a tragic situation. First of all, while you or any other person was bullied by these individuals, you had no way of knowing that they were facing some dire circumstances when you were at the receiving end of their cruelty.

    I think as we get older, we question things more and understand better. It is truly sad that so much time is wasted on the toxicity we face so often at the hands of others. You feel a sense of sadness with the demise they face, and yet, at the same time we can’t condone their actions as you mentioned. They are accountable for that. I think about the situations when I faced abuse and a “nice-nasty” version from people I thought were friends. That’s another story on a different day! 🙄 I applaud you rising above the anger because many people continue to harbor animosity and bitterness for their abusers. And you are spot-on, this type of unforgiveness will eat you alive if you let it! Great post Cherie! 👏🏼🥰💖🤗🌺🙏🏼😊

    • You don’t know how much this comment means to me, Kym! 😊💖And I’ve dealt with those “nysty” types of friends myself, honey, and they can be the most evil. And you’re right, you really do feel a sense of sadness. You also mourn more for their souls than anything else. And you totally get it about hate, girl! It’s poisonous! Love you bunches! 💖😘💋🤗💖💋😘🤗

    • I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend! It’s heartbreaking when we lose a friend to suicide because, in our heartbreak, we often wonder why they couldn’t come talk to us. It’s especially horrible when it’s a friend we love. Sending you lots of love and hugs!🫂 💖🤗

  4. I remember when one of my bullies died in a swimming accident in the summer between 7th and 8th grades. I was mixed about it. It was tragic but at the time, it was one less bully in my life.

  5. I find it very hard to forgive the people who bullied me for so many years, in so many horrible and painful ways. But I’m even more upset with the adults that allowed this to happen again and again. Instead of being in my corner, they cheered the bullies on (so they would not become targets themselves I guess).
    I get kids not getting along, having struggles with things like puberty and undiscovered mental health issues. But as an adult, I do believe they should have intervened and helped both me and the bullies.
    I would not wish any of them dead, but I don’t wish anything well for them either. I’ve been hurt too much, too often, to feel any empathy for any of them.
    I think it’s mighty big of you that you can feel that way towards them 🌸

    • Thank you so much, Cynni! 💖 And I completely understand why you feel the way you do. I felt the same for a long time. Sending you lots of love, sweetie! 💖🤗💖🤗💖🤗

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