Hate Only Damages the Hater Not the Hated

As a survivor of severe bullying and peer-abuse, I’ve seen the faces of hate- up close and personal. And let me tell you, it’s ugly! And dangerous!

I know what it looks like. I’ve felt it’s powerful and painful sting and have been paralyzed by it. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve even had it directed toward others in those days. But hatred is worthless. Most people don’t understand the damage it does to not the hated, but the hater!

The reality is that hate causes the hater more pain than it does the hated. I say this because I’ve witnessed it. In the past, I’ve looked into the eyes of my bullies- deep into their eyes- down into their souls! And I truly believe that if there wasn’t a law against murder or manslaughter, I probably wouldn’t be here today.

On the Receiving End of Hatred

That was the kind of hate many of my classmates had for me. I saw how it would burn them up inside. ‘You see? That’s what hate does. When you have hatred for another person, you’re only hurting yourself.

Because it will eat you up inside and make you crazy. Hate is a sick and twisted obsession and it can take over your life if you allow it to.

Hatred can destroy your happiness and prospects. It skews your judgement and ability to think clearly. It causes you to make horrible decisions- decisions that can alter the entire trajectory of your life.

Hate is Harmful on Both Sides

When a person has hatred for another human being, it numbs their conscience, dulls their reasoning capabilities. They will condone things they would otherwise deem immoral and evil. The hater will approve of the most depraved, heinous, and atrocious atrocities directed toward the hated person. Yet they would disapprove of it, even condemn it, if it’s against with anyone else, even a total stranger.

Hate turns even the kindest, most caring people into depraved monsters. Realize that hate destroys haters and targets alike. Hate kills.

Indifference is a better option than hate. Because with indifference, you could absolutely care less, You could care less if the person is doing good or bad, what he thinks, what he says, or what he does.

Indifference is Much Better than Hate

On the other hand, with hate, you care because all you want is for the hated person to suffer. There’s a strong desire to make sure nothing good happens for the hated.  And you obsessively seek to destroy them and their life. You want to make sure all opportunities are closed off to the hated person. This is what hate does. It causes haters to obsess over the hated.

So, if you’re a target of bullies, let them go ahead and hate on you. But don’t hate them back. Instead, be indifferent toward them, and how you do that is to stop caring what others think and do your thing, baby!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

15 thoughts on “Hate Only Damages the Hater Not the Hated

  1. Cherie, do you have any idea why you were so bullied and hated? What was it about you? In my case, as I’ve encountered much abuse and bullying over the years, I think it’s my purity and timid nature that provokes them. Almost like a lone gazelle in a jungle.

  2. Pingback: Hate Only Damages the Hater Not the Hated – The past is the past….the future is unwritten….What matters most is what we do today….

  3. This is something that I’ve learned as I got older. I wish with all my heart and soul I could teach it to my kids. It’s heartbreaking to see others (especially my own kids) go through bullying. I can at least open the lines of communication so they have someone to talk to. Through my many years of abuse at home and with well known people in the community, plus with all the bullying at school, I had no one to talk to…

    • My heart goes out to you, Angie. I was in the same situation you were in when I was a teen- no one to talk to, no support. I had to go it alone. Know that I feel your pain, sweetie. Also, my son was bullied during the seventh grade, but luckily, we got him out of that cesspit of a school and transferred him.

      I’m proud of you for being there for your kids. Continue to be the rock they need to cling to. 💖🌺💐🌹

  4. I was hated and then hated back because I was perceived as a liar and a weirdo. You’re right, one must let go of hate and do so in a reasonable form. I poured out all my hate when I wrote “He Was Weird.” It was a huge release for me.

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