Losing My Beloved Furbaby

This is so painful to type. My tears flow down my cheeks and land on my keyboard. Tonight, my beloved Pomeranian, Roxie, gained her angel wings. For 12 1/2 years, she was my constant furry companion and we were inseparable.

I keep ruminating on the day I got her- the first time I saw her sweet little face. It was love at first sight. It was a cold November evening in 2010 when I met her previous owner in the Wal-Mart parking lot after seeing a social media post entitled, “Full-blooded Palmeranian for sale.” Yes, they misspelled Pomeranian, but that detail is something I look at with love.

I contacted the owner and told her that I was interested in the little dog and she sent me a picture of her entitled, “This is Roxy.” The picture only sealed the deal. I changed the spelling of her name because I thought that dropping the y and adding the ie made the name more ladylike.

I met the girl that evening with the forty dollars she asked for. She then handed me the puppy and to see her sweet face for the first time in person, I loved her even more. The girl then handed me what was left of her puppy food and we parted ways.

I made a mad dash into Wal-mart to get a new leash, a large bag of puppy food, a bag of puppy snacks, a dog bowl, some puppy toys, and a dog bed. It was a cool November evening, so it was safe to leave her in my car. Twenty minutes later, I came back to the car, loaded the dog care items into the trunk, and drove her home.

As Roxie, grew, she became more and more beautiful- long hair, bushy tail, she was a beautiful little lady. I would take her on long walks. Also, I would take her outside and throw the ball for her to fetch. And she fetched it, then would come back, stop in front of me, and drop the ball on the ground.

She always slept pressed next to me on my bed. There wasn’t a night she didn’t sleep with me and I loved it when she’d follow me from room to room. I used to get down in the floor and play with her and make sure to give her lots of love and affection.

Roxie was my sidekick, my best friend. And though, in time, I may get another puppy, Roxie can never be replaced. No other pet will ever take her place in my heart. She was brilliantly smart and was an outgoing little dog and to see her and know her was to love her. She was very affectionate and would always jump on my lap and lick my face.

It’s going to be tough and I don’t how I’m going to get through this overwhelming sadness that fills my heart. Being without my baby is going to take a lot of getting used to. I do know that I will smile again eventually and I will remember her with a smile rather than tears and weeping.

Tonight, I held you one last time.

Rest easy my sweet Roxie. I will see you again in Heaven some day. 🐾🐾

November 8, 2010 – January 11, 2023

82 thoughts on “Losing My Beloved Furbaby

  1. The friendship of an animal companion is something so precious, only those who have had the love of a dog, a cat, or any other animal, can understand. I’ve lost furbabies myself… It’s awful. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  2. Oh Cherie, that is awful! I’m impressed that you found the will to write this blog so soon… it took me 3 days to be able to see the keyboard well enough to blog about Mr. M crossing the rainbow bridge… and we’d been expecting him to pass for months (cancer) and the vet had given him a couple months, but he lasted 6.
    I firmly believe cats and dogs have souls that allow them to watch over us as well as join us in the next life. Perhaps Roxie and Mr. M are even friends.

    • It was hard to write, Jeanne. I literally bawled as I typed and had to take several breaks. And I just finished another crying spell today. I knew it was coming because she’d been sick for months. Then this past weekend, she stopped eating and taking water.

      I started a new job Monday. Yesterday, I went to work, then came home last evening and Roxie was in the floor, barely alive. I knew then she was dying. She hung on long enough for me to get home to her.

      I got down in the floor with her and loved on her. I looked in her eyes and let her know that I loved her and that I was there.

      I got up long enough to go to the bathroom amd when I came back, she was gone. I made her a bed in a box and put her in. I still have her with me because my husband was on the road last night and wasn’t home. When he gets home, we will bury her in our back yard and I will decorate her grave.

      I’m so sorry about Mr. M, Jeanne. I know how much he meant to you because Roxie meant the world to me. Know that he’s watching over you like Roxie is watching over me.

      ❀️ 🐾 ❀️ 🐾 ❀️

  3. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling right now. Before I got my current Shih Tzu, Buddy, I had two turtles. They were already sick when I got them (which I found out too late), so I only had them a couple of months before they passed away. When they did, I wept so hard…

    Now, my dog Buddy is my best pal, brings joy and laughter with his antics every day. I can’t comprehend the day when I will have to let him go… Biggest hugs from me and Buddy, Cherie <3 Roxie is now your furry Angel… <3

    • Thank you so much, Celt. πŸ’– And I wish your Buddy a long and healthy life. Our furbaby’s are furry little humans in our eyes and the love we have for them is equivalent to the love we have for another human. I hope my furry little angel visits me from time to time. And I’m so sorry about your turtles.

  4. Oh Cherie, I’m soooo sorry for your loss of sweet Rosie! What a love and beautiful baby… your sweet baby that gave so much to your loving heart. Bless her crossing and your heart as the memories of her love linger on inside forever! πŸ’—

    • Thank you so much, Cindy. πŸ’– It’s going to be hard living without her. She brought so much joy to my life. But I believe she’ll be waiting for me when I get to Heaven.

  5. Hugs and condolences on your loss. Pomeranians can be extra sweet pets, and your Roxie had the good fortune that you loved her so much, Cherie. You’ll never be without her memory. It’ll be OK to cry, too, years from now, when something reminds you of this dear being. I sometimes cry when I remember Peanuts, Laddie. Freckles, Louie, and Dougy. They are dogs and cats that brought joy into my life at all stages of my life. More hugs.

    • Thank you so much, Doug. This is such a beautiful reply and means a lot. I’m so sorry you lost those sweet furbabies. They bring more joy than most humans do, I hate to say. Their live and loyalty is constant and unwavering. 🐾 πŸ’– 🐾

  6. My heart is breaking. A thousand times I have buried my face in matted hair and cried a thousand tears we missed another animal broken by humans and left to die I am an Animal rescuer πŸ˜” Thank God you saved a life please go out to shelter and find another life. We need folk to help πŸ†˜ animals survive in loving homes. Animals need you to survive. Shalom πŸ˜”πŸ˜”

    • Thank you so much. ❀️ My husband and I were just talking an hour ago about going to the shelter and finding another sweet dog. And we will. I just need time to grieve first. Again, thank you so much. Roxie was so loved and she’s so missed. The one thing that gives me comfort is that we gave her so much love and a good life. We spoiled her and we’d do it again. Roxie was our baby.

  7. Cherie, I am so sorry for your loss . I will pray for you! I hope you can find comfort and peace in the grieving process. You know there are no rules for grief except there are no rules.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and place you on my virtual altar.

    Know that You are not alone, my sister writer! My furry baby kitty is 16 1/2 and she has been on death’s door a few times these past few years. I’ve had her since she was 6 weeks old. One day, sooner than later, her momma kat (moi) healer will not be able to save her from aging and death.

    I am sorry you must endure this loss.

    Take care. 🌹

    …xo

    • Thank you so much, Kathleen! You don’t know how much this means. I wish your kitty many more years of life. I’ve heard of many cats living to be over 20 years old. Maybe yours will be one of them. Again, thank you so much for your kind words. Wishing you many blessings! ❀️

  8. So sorry to hear of your loss, Cherie. I had a friend who lost his best friend, his child, and companion a few months back. Tomtom was always there at the door to greet us, barking, tail wagging, a big grin on his little doggie face. He was part of the family, and treated us as part of it too. I will surely miss him when I next go to visit my friend. My deepest condolences. God bless πŸ’œπŸ’•β€οΈ

    • Thank you so much, Therese. My heart goes out to you and your friend. Dogs have the purest love, companionship, and faithfulness. And they leave their little paw prints on our hearts forever!

  9. It took me a year and then some to actually admit myself best friend Simba was gone. Sometimes I hear an excited bark and still think he’s coming back. I won’t lie to you that it gets easier, but the gratitude and good memories win over the grief sometimes. Sending you all the love and strength πŸ–€

    • Thank you do much, Wanja! πŸ’– This means s more than you know. I’m so sorry about Simba. And I’m so glad you shared this with me because I have faith that it will get easier and I thank God for making Roxie just for me and for allowing me to spend the years I got to spend with her.

    • So well expressed, Wanja! Thank you for your beautiful words of comfort. You are so right- gratitude and good memories do help erase my moments of saddness. I am so blessed to have had my wee one in my life for 14 wonderful years.

    • Thank you so much! ❀️ And you’re so right, it is the deepest loss. Last weekend, I was an emotional mess and cried constantly. My husband worried about me. I’m slowly recovering. However, I still have my moments. I’m thankful for the time I got to spend with her.

  10. Losing our wee lil’ companions- heartbreaking! Your tribute was beautiful and I too teared up reading it. I myself have lost one- and 6 years later I can still tear up at the sound of a squeaker toy and still have to bypass the pet aisle! Yes, the memories are treasured for that is truly all we have. (She is hugging a spot in my heart forever more, but I’d rather have here by my side.) Time helps one move on- it is relentless and yes, over time- different for everyone- the pain lessens. When I read your post, I did not know what to say, and was even procrastinating on sending a response- but dear lady, I have had you on my mind a lot!! You would think after all this time; I would be able to offer more. Alas not at all! Their presence occupied a huge place in our lives and now especially in the wee early hours of the morning when I get up with insomnia, my little snuggle bunny is not there to occupy my chest and ease me back to slumber; nor my road runner perched in her place in my SUV on another girls’ adventure; or at the door doing her “so glad you are finally home, mummy” dance. Those and all the beautiful ways that little soul radiated unconditional love are things that I will always miss. I am sure you know what I mean. My hubby and I still say the house is quiet even though she wasn’t much of a noise maker- she had these amazingly dark little eyes that told you everything you needed to know- like when it was bedtime, snack time to not the time to β€œeven think about moving me off your shoulders.” We have not gotten another fur friend- I do not trust myself yet to compare the two- although I know there will never be another like her- she taught me love so I know my heart is big enough to share- just not yet. I think your post will help you heal- I joined a Facebook group who had members who all owned the same breed of dog- Bichon Frise- and their compassion and encouragement- total strangers hundreds and thousands of miles away – listened, sent hugs and dried my tears. They understood the magnitude of the loss- even if I posted a comment today none of them would even utter, “Still?” They helped me reach peace. I so wish that for you! Peace and your puppy in your heart forevermore. Hugs, dear, lovely Cherie. My deepest condolences!! Kim

    • Oh my goodness, Kim! This brings tears to my eyes! Your little fur-baby sounds just like mine! Roxie would always sleep right next to me. And she would always jump and prance every time I got home! Lord, I miss that! She was so loving and effectionate. I’ll never forget her! πŸ’–πŸ˜’

    • Thank you so much, Molly. It’s been hard not having her around. The house is too quiet. But slowly, it’s getting easier. I’ll always remember my sweet little fur ball. πŸΎπŸ’–

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