I won’t kid you. These last three months have been an uphill battle and it seems like I and so many others have been knocked down repeatedly lately. You probably have too. This morning, I almost threw my hands up and quit. I got to the point where it was easier not to even care. I thought, “Screw it! Whatever happens, happens! I don’t care anymore!”
Yes! Me! An up-lifter to bullied people everywhere, wanted to give up! A person who is, for the most part, a positive and upbeat person and who is not known for quitting.
I’m no superwoman. I’m human and times have been tough- overwhelming at times. That’s all I can say, so, I’ll spare you the details.
The truth is, I began to question the reality of free will. I started wonder if “Free Will” is real or just an illusion mankind has lulled themselves into believing. I’m not sure if I know the answer. But what I do know is that we do have control over our thoughts and sometimes, even the most positive and confident people get drug through life so much that, yes, even they began to doubt their own autonomy and control over their own lives.
Like I did today, when times are at their worst, we all will sometimes slip into that horrible abyss of negativity. It happens to the best of us.
I’m a strong person, yes. But being a human being, there are times when even I’m not that strong. The truth is that I’m crawling right now, but…BUT!
I’m not dead yet and I don’t intend to quit. I’ll only rest and take the time needed to take care of myself and my family.
I don’t know when this down-period will end. What I do know is that I have to trust the process- to trust that no matter what happens, it’s going to be alright.
With that said, there will be times when you feel like you can’t go on. If you don’t have the strength to walk, then crawl if you must. But never lie down!
Wishing you all love, peace, happiness, and prosperity.
Is there ever a time when you should surrender to a bully? The answer is yes, or at least make it look like you’re surrendering to them. In life, there are times when we should pick and choose our battles- to decide whether to fight back or leave well enough alone. It is a must when your bullies are extremely powerful because it isn’t smart to fight them and give them a chance to defeat you.
Sometimes real power comes with swallowing your pride and giving in to them first. When you do this, you’ll only enrage the bullies and throw them off-kilter because they were looking for a fight and so sure they’d get one but didn’t.
There’s no point in fighting an unwinnable battle. Showing weakness can be a strength if you know how to use it correctly.
When you surrender (or make it look as if you do), you give yourself time to recuperate and time to torture and irritate your bullies subtly. You can sneakily sabotage your bullies in ways they’d never expect nor detect. Maybe you can get what you can out of the surrender, then fight later when your bullies are not so strong. Believe it or not, bullies do eventually lose power.
You don’t surrender because you give up. You do it to humor your bullies and lull them into a false sense of complacency- to fool them into thinking they’ve won. Understand that bullies are continually trying to show dominance and superiority, and if you make it look like you surrender to them, it’ll be so easy to trick them.
Being submissive to them (for the time being) makes them feel satisfied and powerful. In this, the bullies become easier targets for a later countermove or indirect ridicule.
For example, You surrender, and the bullies let you walk away. But as you turn and walk away, you can cut a silent fart in their general direction, and they won’t think it came from you. They’ll only be looking at each other and wondering who dealt it.
Silent ridicule works wonders for self-esteem!
“To love yourself is to understand you don’t need to be perfect to be good.”
~ Unknown ~
“When bullied children stay home to avoid hurtful relationships, schools lose tens of millions of dollars each year, a new study says.” (Education Week)
According to The Atlantic (theatlantic.com) in a 2013 article by Eleanor Barkham, “160,000 kids stay home from school each day to avoid being bullied.” (https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp/.theatlantic.com/amp/article/280201/)
It adds up. Imagine those numbers per week, per month, and school year.
Each state funds each of its schools a specific dollar amount per day, per child in attendance. Therefore, when a student is absent from class on any given day, the school loses money for that particular student.
Many schools choose to sweep incidences of bullying under the rug. Even sadder is the fact that all too often, it’s the victims who get labeled the troublemakers, blamed for the incident, and punished while the bullies get let off the hook.
This only encourages the bullies to bully the victim later. It’s the same cycle, which is why many victims begin skipping school to avoid their tormentors and the teachers and staff who continuously blame them for their own suffering.
I can’t say I blame these kids for staying home. Many times, I skipped class myself when I was in school and a victim of harassment. Who wants to be in an environment where they’re used and abused? You might as well stay home because you’re so busy watching your back that you don’t learn anything.
If bullying isn’t addressed at the district level, more bullied kids will skip school to avoid being tormented, and schools will lose more funds.
In my opinion, it serves these schools, right! It’s funny how things always run full circle!
Bullies aren’t just a pain in the butt; they’re power-hungry confidence thieves who can wreak havoc on your life if you aren’t careful. Understand that the laws of human nature dictate that no one does or says anything without some sort of psychological benefit.
Bullies reap several benefits at your expense if you’re a target. Here is a list of those benefits:
1. A sense of power – bullies bully for power, control, and domination. Anytime a bully takes a victim down, they get a tremendous rush of power and become addicted to that rush. This is why bullies never bully once. They always come back for more.
It’s no different from being a drug addict. The evil actions, cruelty, and power become a drug in and of themselves.
Also, as with any drug, the same tactics and frequency of bullying lose their potency after a while, so the bully must escalate the torment to keep getting the rush they crave.
For example, when name-calling and verbal abuse of the target lose the thrill they once gave and begin to get boring, bullies will often escalate to either cruel pranks, humiliation, or physical assault and battery to keep getting the rush they look for. It’s the same as when a drug addict builds a drug tolerance and begins taking higher doses.
2. Popularity – Bullies bully because people think it’s cool or cute. Bullying gives the bully lots of attention and visibility from others.
3. Superiority – Bullying gives the bully an appearance of strength and sends a message to those around him that he’s a badass, and they’d be a fool to mess with him. The bully also gives the appearance that he’s a top dog.
4. Attention and Sympathy – if the bully can make the targeted student look like the bad guy, he gets to enjoy the attention and bask in the sympathy others give him.
5. Distraction from their own shortcomings – Bullies are experts at making the target look weak and pathetic. If the bully can distract everyone else’s attention to the victim’s flaws, weaknesses, and shortcomings, he can keep the spotlight off his own defects and imperfections. Because if people expect to see trouble coming from a specific place, that’s where they’re going to look.
6. Projection of their own flaws onto someone else – Bullies have a flare for accusing their targets of the same deplorable behavior of which they are guilty. If the bully can make the target look like the bully, then the real bully can go unpunished and continue to attack the victim freely and with impunity. Again, it also takes the focus off his own misdeeds.
7. The satisfaction and gratification of seeing the target suffer – Bullies love to see their targets suffer. For the bully, the victim’s misery is entertainment and gives them a rush of power. Just know they can determine how the target feels and how their day goes gives them a feeling of dominance.
Don’t give them the satisfaction. Be a waste of time and energy to them.
Narcissistic bullies are such good actors, aren’t they? They’re good at going undetected, flying under the radar, and making themselves out to be better than what they are while making you look like the fool or the bad guy. But the good news is that sooner or later, people such as these usually wind up telling off on themselves somehow, someway, without even realizing it until it’s too late and the cat’s already out of the bag.
I’ve seen it happen before too many times when narcissistic bullies grew a little too confident. They got too sure of themselves, too loud, too obnoxious, too flippant, and then, they got stupid! They ended up unintentionally outing themselves!
Perhaps the narco didn’t realize a person in authority nearby when he got too loud and shot off his mouth. Or maybe she accidentally left a damning piece of evidence lying about and didn’t cover her tracks as well as she could have. Then again, perhaps the Narc-bully wove such a big web of lies and finally got tangled in it, or pushed things a little too far and made people not want to be around them. Either way, in the end, the narcopath stepped in it!
Understand that these types are always pushing boundaries as far as they can. Give these people an inch, and they take a mile. But give them a mile, and they take ten. With a Narco, it’s never enough. Standing up to these idiots is useless because you’ll only arouse their narcissistic rage, and they’ll spend the rest of their natural lives hunting for you and trying to get back at you. With a narcissist, everything is tit for tat, and the fight soon becomes exhausting for the victim of such erratic behavior.
These people have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. So, don’t fight or try to get back at a narcissistic bully because, trust me, they’ll never stop. They’ll only keep coming after you. Instead, just sit back, let the narco rant and rave and act like you don’t care. While they shout, curse, and foam at the mouth, continue to rock it- grey rock it, that is! Go no contact if it’s possible because people like these are dangerous and can hurt you.
But rest assured that eventually, the narcissist bully will screw up, and karma will visit them. They may not learn their lesson and change (few narcs ever do), but they always get what they deserve in the end, especially when they get old.
I knew a young nurse who was a narcissist bully, even had the displeasure of working with her for a while. Eventually, she got caught stealing opiates from the nursing home, where she held Director of Nursing’s title. The nursing homeowners fired her, and soon after, the state revoked her license to practice as a nurse. After losing her nursing license, her husband divorced her. She then worked at one of the local cafés as a waitress before becoming ill and finally dying. Her whole life went down the crapper, and this woman had a sad and miserable ending.
I’ve even known a few elderly narcissists, and trust me. They live the most miserable and lonely existence of anyone I know. They’re the most bitter, angry, demanding, and ornery people you’ll ever meet. And why not? They’ve steamrolled others all their lives and now have no one to come for a visit nor to help them when they need it. And it’s sad!
People who know the person always make it a point to stay far away! And if by a minuscule chance some poor, unsuspecting sucker does come around, I can tell you that after spending enough time getting to know the person, they won’t be able to get out of there fast enough!
I know it seems that no one will hold these bullies responsible for their mean-spirited words or actions. I realize that narcissistic bullies have a talent for pouring on the charm and hoodwinking people into believing that they’re such good people. I understand that these types are so intimidating that they force people to take sides with them and give them what they want. And yes, I know that none of it is fair (and whoever said that life was?.
But rest assure. God doesn’t like ugly, and eventually, everything comes full circle. It may take a long time, but narcissist bullies always get back what they dish out in the end. Always remember that.
“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.”
~ Louise Hay ~