8 Reasons Why You Should Let Them Talk

gossip rumors lies talk

Gossips are everywhere! Too many people worry needlessly about what people are saying about them. But here’s the thing, people talk. They’re going to have something to say about you until the day you die. Get used to it. Better, yet embrace it! Love it!

Here’s Why:

1. When people talk about you, they make you relevant! Good or bad, it means you’re an exciting topic- you’re not dull. Remember that it’s much better to be good or bad than to be boring.

2. When people engage in petty gossip about you, it means that they can’t get you off their minds. Somehow, someway, positive or negative, you’ve made an impact on them. You’ve stirred emotions up in them.

3. When people talk about you, it means they don’t have lives of their own and are obsessed with yours, which means your life must be more exciting than theirs.

4. When people talk behind your back, they reveal much more about themselves than they do you. Remember the old proverb, “Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss events, and Small minds discuss people.”

5. When people can’t shut up about you, you’re the one who’s in control of them. Because you occupy a large amount of space in their minds, you’ve affected them profoundly and with little or no effort.

6. The people who blab about you expend a lot of their energy on you while you get to save yours. They’re thinking of you without getting so much as a thought from you.

7. When you’re the topic of others’ discussions, it means that they’re your fans, only they don’t know it.

It’s important to reframe the situation. And smile as you’re the hottest topic around! Haters make you famous!

8. In a nutshell, when people can’t stop running their mouths about you, it only means that you have a tremendous amount of power over them and you didn’t have to make an effort to get that power! Yay, you!

So don’t give their talk any validation by reacting. Just sit back and be amused by the talkers, provided it’s just petty gossip and not defamation. I’ll distinguish between the two in a future post.

How Bullying Negatively Affects The Targets Performance in School

As we all should know, bullying can have a devastating effect on grades and class performance. Here’s how:

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, you are forcibly put on constant alert for an attack. It feels as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head. You become hyper-vigilant, which breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is the body tired, but also the mind.

When so much focus must be placed on ways to protect yourself and maintain dignity, safety takes priority over studying lessons. How can one concentrate on schoolwork when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence? How can a student study and learn effectively when the mind is tired from being stuck in what seems to be a never-ending fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

I can tell you this because it happened to me.

In my book, “From Victim to Victor”, I talk about having been on the honor roll before I began attending school in *Oakley (The school I was bullied in). I also talk about the transfer to *Roseburg High School during my senior year and how my grades skyrocketed overnight! After leaving that toxic learning environment and moving to a new school, my grades went from ‘C’s and ‘D’s to all ‘A’s with maybe one ‘B’. I made honor roll again for the first time in five long years!

Here is an excerpt from my book, “From Victim to Victor”, which explains things a little deeper:

bullied victim tortured

“…when anyone, even the most logical and rational of anyone is under a large amount of stress over a long period of time, the glucocorticoids that have flooded the brain and body for so long will cause the atrophy of areas responsible for memory, emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships…”

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor grades and class performance?

Second, after being told repeatedly and for so long that they don’t and never will amount to anything, victims begin to believe it themselves. A condition, known as “Learned Helplessness” develops and victims simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can affect ALL areas of a victim’s life. Not just social, but academics and achievements as well.

(*Not the real name of the town.)

How to Distinguish Between Being Alone and Being Lonely

Being alone means being in solitude- being by yourself. When you’re alone, you’re without the company of others. Being lonely, on the other hand, means having feelings of abandonment- being sad due to being isolated and alienated from others.

Alone is a state of being. Whereas, loneliness is a state of mind. An emotion. You can be in a room full of people and though you may not be alone, you can be lonely. It’s not about the number of people around you, it’s about how you feel.

When you’re alone, you can be happy. When you’re lonely, you can’t.

Being alone is sometimes beneficial because it allows you to focus on a project without disruption and makes concentration so much easier. So, you can be alone without necessarily being lonely. And everyone needs a little bit of “me-time” every day!

Being alone is being at home by yourself and enjoying a good book.
Being lonely is that dull ache in your chest after you’ve lost a family member or been thrown under the bus by your friends.

Here’s how to beat that awful feeling of loneliness:

1. Concentrate on your hobbies. Do something you enjoy doing- preferably something that takes a little concentration and consumes some time.

2. Get up and move. Exercise works wonders and has a way of producing endorphins that make you feel good. Dancing to some good music is a great picker-upper!

3. Do a home-improvement project. Clean out your garage or declutter your closets.

As you know, I was bullied for six long years in school. But I also had hobbies that distracted me from some of the loneliness.

My writing and art projects at home were one of the ways I survived those lonely years. They made things a lot more bearable and when I’d finish a project, that feeling of accomplishment I’d get would always supersede any feeling of abandonment I felt!

Never fear being alone. Too many people think that because you’re alone, it means you’re lonely. It doesn’t!

Know Your Bullies: 5 Types of Bullies You Need to Know About

Bullies come in different kinds. You can never assume how your bullies will react because different people react to different things in different ways. Speak out against and expose some bullies and they’ll go to the ends of the earth seeking to retaliate.

Taylor your defense strategies to the particular bully you’re dealing with. To do this, you must be able to distinguish the blowhards from the truly vindictive, the smart ones from the dumb, and the aggressive from the passive-aggressive.

Bullies should never be dealt with blindly. If you go into it blind, you’ll be at their mercy and they’ll toss you around like a tornado tosses debris.

To successfully combat bullying, you must be able to recognize different types of personalities if you expect to survive.

1. Narcissistic and Arrogant Bullies – Although they may hide it well, their excessive, touchy pride and self-importance makes them dangerous. If these types detect even a hint of slight, they will pay you back with excessive brutality. With these people, logic and rationality won’t apply. They overreact to what even looks like opposition and ridicule.

And you don’t have to do anything to them. All you have to do is be good at something or outdo them somehow and they’ll take offense to it. They’ll call you a showoff and take it as you’re trying to be better than them. And they’ll make you pay dearly. And if you get recognition for a project well-done, these people won’t tolerate it. They hate being in anyone’s shadow!

These bullies are usually in the popular crowd at school or in management at work.

Don’t bother trying to second guess them. Avoid them like the plague!

2. Insecure Bullies – These people are a close second to the Narcissistic bullies. These bullies are harder to spot and less violent. Their egos are extremely fragile, and their senses of self are insecure. If they dislike you, they’ll attack in small nibbles. And you won’t realize it until the swipes they take at you are big enough to be obvious.

These bullies are usually the groupies to the popular crowd at school or the suck-ups to management at work.

Avoid these people as well.

3. Suspicious Bullies – these bullies only see the worst in not only their targets but everyone. But in their targets, it’s all they want to see. They see them as threats and think they’re out to get them when it couldn’t be further from the truth. However, Suspicious bullies aren’t as dangerous as the previous two. These bullies are, in fact, easy for targets to trick and deceive. And sometimes targets must resort to trickery to protect themselves.

To counter these bullies is to use their suspicions and turn them against someone else. It will take their focus off you and toss it on the other person. Hey, I know it sounds shady but sometimes you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do to protect yourself. And if means someone else (preferably someone who is as mean as a snake) taking the heat for a while, so be it.

4. Bullies with photographic memories – These bullies never forget you. If you were to run into them again 30 years later, you can bet that they will target you again- only picking up where they left off.

If you’re a target of these bullies, they won’t show their hatred outwardly. But they will keep their eyes on you.

They’ll lie in wait as they plot. Then, when the time is right, they’ll exact their brutality with a frigid coldness. These bullies are usually unaffectionate and hard.

To protect yourself, you must damage these bullies or scare them so bad, they won’t even think of coming for you again.

stupid idiot

5. Bullies who aren’t very bright – These people are easy to combat and won’t see your counterattack coming. These are the bullies you can most easily defend yourself against and expose.

Again, you must know your bullies- each of them, if you expect to overcome them. Knowing your bullies means knowing their personalities and being able to predict what they’ll do next. Only then will you be able to protect yourself against them to maximum effect.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Prisoners of a Strange War

Eighteen months our hearts have been on lockdown,

It’s past time for a takedown,

Of the powers that be.

 

Eighteen months people have been self-loathing,

Induced by shepherds in sheep’s clothing,

Bringing in tyranny.

 

These so-called shepherds wanna empty our cup,

We can either put up or shut up,

Do we want to stay free?

We’re all prisoners of this strange war,

Declared by a cabal of control freaks and power whores,

They’re coming for our children,

Got vile plans for our brethren

They’re masters of destruction,

Partakers of corruption,

Sowers of misery, hatred, and evil,

Puffed up minions of the devil,

With God on our side and truth we can use,

This strange war is a war they’re gonna lose.

A computer whiz posing as a doctor,

In this worldwide test, he is the proctor,

How it ends we don’t know.

 

He’s only a snake oil salesman,

With billions as his talisman,

Tell him to let the people go.

 

A 91-year-old former Nazi sellout took

Wall-Street by hook and crook

Bribes elected officials to sow division

By past experience, he knows the playbook

And along with the CEO of Facebook

Against truth speakers, uses derision.

 

Demanding censorship and our silence

Their hearts craving violence

Against the successful, happy, and free.

 

If we all stick together, this could be our finest hour.

We can take back our collective power

And make a better world for you and me.

But with untouchable impunity

They seek to destroy our unity

And sow sorrow and strife.

 

Megalomaniacs drunk on their power

In their basements and bunkers they cower

Seeking to destroy our way of life

 

With the infamous backroom deal

Our collective voices they steal

They cut us with the invisible knife

Young brunette woman wearing white sweater gagged and tied with duct tape around wrists, facing camera, hostage concept.

We’re all prisoners of this strange war,

Declared by a cabal of control freaks and power whores,

They’re coming for our children,

Got vile plans for our brethren

They’re masters of destruction,

Partakers of corruption,

Sowers of misery, hatred, and evil,

Puffed up, arrogant minions of the devil,

With God on our side and truth we can use,

This strange war is a war they’re gonna lose.

Flying monkeys, lackeys, drones and sheep,

Patsies and useful idiots who are still asleep,

Sow division and hate.

 

To keep the master’s hands clean they do the dirty work,

They burn, loot, murder, causing a world of hurt,

While in a psychotic state.

 

The newsman’s message is clear- we must obey

Or there will be hell to pay

They demand our shunning

Drink the koolaid, do like Jonestown and die

We should never question the lie

Or try to avoid the all-seeing eye

It’s all so stunning

 

 “Follow the science,” they demand and shout,

Promoting strange weapons to take us all out,

They don’t need no gun nor bullet.

 

How much more will we take?

How much longer will the media fake?

How much longer will we be bullied?

We’re all prisoners of this strange war,

Declared by a cabal of control freaks and power whores,

They’re coming for our children,

Got vile plans for our brethren

They’re masters of destruction,

Partakers of corruption,

Sowers of misery, hatred, and evil,

Puffed up, arrogant minions of the devil,

With God on our side and truth we can use,

This strange war is a war they’re gonna lose.

How long before we say enough is enough?

We’ve had enough!

Put an end to this strange war

Or The People shall settle the score

Let us be

And set us free!

Ways Bullies Tell Off on Themselves Without Realizing It

And you usually hear it straight from the horse’s mouth.

You may witness these types of scenarios:

One of your classmates may yell “Don’t you touch me! I’m not (target’s name)!” a female classmate may yell when a boy in your class attemptsto shove her.

.

“You don’t talk down to me, I ain’t (target’s name)!”, Another classmate may yell when another calls her a horrible name.

If you’re the unlucky person who’s the target, you will hear your name in these sentences.

Each of these statements is a tell-all that is too blatant, and yiu must immediately read through the lines when you hear it.

Surprisingly, no one else picked up on it, not even any of the teachers present when it happened to me . If only I were as fearless back then as I am today, I would’ve called that out…fast! The consequences be damned.

They were unwittingly and unknowingly admitting that I was everyone’s target.

All through school, there were several times they gave themselves away, and it was so obvious it was almost sickening.

“I want some of your bubble gum.”
“No! Get some from Cherie if she’s got some!”
“Uh-oh! She’s going in there to jump Cherie! Get her, (insert name of bully here), get her!”

I want you to understand the brazenness of bullies is shocking. They are so bold; they will either unwittingly or admittedly tell on themselves because they know that chances are, no one will hold them responsible or stand up for you if you are a target.

You must pay attention and recognize when your bullies call themselves out and when they do, don’t be afraid to jump on it and tell them a thing or two. It could be as simple as saying, “So, you admit to being a jerk?”, “Ha! You just proved yourself a liar!” Or, “Wow! You just told off on yourself, buddy!”

When you do, let them know that you aren’t afraid or stupid, that you caught it, and you’re not too timid to hit them back with it.

You must hit your bullies with their own BS or with their own book of rules and standards because it’s by far the most effective, as I found out later.