Archive by Author | cheriewhite

A Post From My Friend and Fellow Blogger and Advocate, Alan Eisenberg

Bullying and School Shootings
By Alan Eisenberg February 19, 2018

Crossing the Line

A few years ago now, I published my book, “Crossing the Line”, which is a fictional account of why a school shooting might take place by a bullied victim. While it is a fictional book, I spent countless hours reading studies and interviews where the shooter was a bully victim looking for revenge or just trying to protect themselves after the mental breakdown that bullying can cause.

This is in no way an excuse for what happens when a school shooting takes place. But we do need to look at the rationalization and change our conversations. With the most recent shooting in Florida, there is no correlation to bullying, but mental health is again a factor. It seems that most of the time it is. Studies have shown a proclivity between bullying and school shooting or bringing a weapon to school.

There are two major issues that seem to come up when a mass shooting happens. One group speaks loudly about gun control and the other speaks loudly about mental health. I feel as though we take extremes, instead of looking to the middle. So, I decided to record a special episode of Healthy U (the podcast) on this subject to share my own personal story with bullying and school violence. It is attached here and I hope you’ll watch it. I would love to hear your own opinion.

Here is the link to Alan’s blog. He is the CEO of Bullying Recovery, an organization which deals with bullying and helps victims. Alan is also a survivor of school bullying. I admire his work in addressing the issue of bullying in schools and the damage it does to our most precious, our children. Alan has a lot of great information and I highly recommend his page and his organization to anyone who is or knows someone who is suffering at the hands of a bully. To watch his podcast, click on the link below:

https://bullyingrecovery.org/2018/02/19/bullying-school-shootings/

Advertisements

“They Should Still Be Here!”

dreamstime_s_79002480

Today, while driving Roxie, my little reddish-blonde Pomeranian to the groomer’s, I passed what was once the home and property of my Dad and Stepmother, whom are now both deceased. At the age of only 53, my father passed away from complications of Acute Mylogeneous Leukemia in the summer of 2005. My stepmother passed away eight years later of complications from Lupus. She was only 63.

Each time I pass that beautiful two-story home and spread of property, spotted with gorgeous flower beds and bushes and covered with fresh green grass, I cannot help but gaze at it, remembering how overgrown the place was when they bought it. During the fifteen years my dad and stepmom lived there, they transformed the place from the eyesore it had once been to the gorgeous stretch of property it is today. Even now, years after their deaths, the blood, sweat and tears they both poured into the place is still evident! And I find myself thinking, “My Goodness! They should still be here!”

I go on thinking, “I should be able to pull into the driveway even today and see my father sitting on that wrap-around porch, taking a draw off a cigarette and looking over the property, beaming with pride at the results of years of hard, often hot work. I should be able to see my stepmother crouched in one of the flower beds, pulling weeds with gloved hands.”.

I often ask myself if these thoughts are sinful…if thinking this way is, in fact, the same as saying that maybe God was wrong in taking them at such early ages. So I think this with caution. Then I remind myself…or maybe it is God reminding me that I am only human and it is only my mere mortal and human mind which cries out, “They should still be here!”. And that God’s ways are beyond all comprehension…beyond our human understanding.

The reality is that, in the grand scheme of things, God’s plan is that some will not grow to a ripe old age like others. But that’s okay because although I miss them terribly, I can take comfort in knowing that my Dad and Stepmother are in a much better place than any of us left here on Earth. Nevertheless, each time I drive past that old house and stretch of property, my heart can’t help but cry out, “They should still be here!”.

Catch Them Before They Become Shooters (Part 3): Don’t Do It!!!

dreamstime_xs_42561208

As I mentioned in the two earlier posts, school shootings are at an all-time high today. This must STOP!

No matter how horribly you are treated, no matter how angry, sad or lonely you are, it is never okay to take a life. NEVER! Bullying and mental illness, although a cause, it is never an excuse! There is nothing…nothing that justifies killing another human being unless you have an intruder in your home and they are threatening your life and the lives of your family. Murder is wrong and there are better and more productive ways to handle being bullied.

Let’s put it another way: Anytime you bring a gun to school and shoot a bully who has tormented you, you automatically cease to be a victim and make them (the bully) the victim. Sorry, but it is what it is! When you kill someone, you no longer get to claim victimhood. That’s just how the world works. Instead, you make the BULLY the victim!

This is exactly what bullies want…to look like the victim in the eyes of others while sneakily torturing their targets and making them look like the bad guys. By shooting them, you only make it so much easier for them to do that.

Remember that bullies are masters at feigning victimhood, which is the reason they go unpunished while the target looks guilty. Your bullies have looked innocent and vilified you in the eyes of others for far too long! Why then would you want to make them even bigger victims than what they already look like? They have already destroyed your reputation and shooting them would only confirm the lies they have spread about you as truth…that you really did turn out to be a despicable person.

Let’s look at it yet, a third way: If you shoot your bullies, their names will be engraved on a memorial at the school, while your name will be regarded with shame and contempt. You will go down in history as a disgusting and vile monster while your bullies will be remembered as either heroes or martyrs. Seriously! Is that what you want???

When you take the life of another human being, you not only put shame on yourself, but also your entire family! Do you really want to put the people who love you through that? Once you kill someone, you can never rectify it!

Nicolas Cruz sure didn’t think about this when he snapped and decided to go to Margorie Stoneman Douglas High School and shoot his classmates. Yes. He was a victim of bullying because he was considered “weird”. One of his classmates, Emma Gonzales even admitted to ostracizing him. Yes, his classmates should have reached out to him. However, because he chose to handle it the wrong way by picking up a gun, the fact that he was ostracized is no longer relevant. That’s…Just…Reality! If you shoot someone, nobody will care what your reasons were. Nobody cares that he was bullied. Nobody cares that he was pushed over the edge! And if you let them drive you to do something so counterproductive, no one will give a damn that they drove you to do it, truth or not!

Yes, bullying is a hell that only few can comprehend. I understand the intense rage which builds to a burning climax after having been dehumanized for so many years. I understand the feeling of hopelessness. Why? Because I’ve been there…in the trenches! Trust me when I say, “I get that”. But…you must think before you act. You must keep your wits about you, no matter how difficult it may be. Thinking ahead and of the possible consequences I might have faced and how it would have devastated my family and killed any prospects of a great future was what kept me from doing something which would have altered my own life and the lives of not only my classmates and their families, but also members of my own family as well. With that said, I beg you! DON’T DO IT! If at anytime you’re being bullied and you’re about to lose control, get help…FAST!

Instead, conquer your bullies by taking care of yourself and making positive changes in your own life. Transfer to another school and reinvent yourself if you must. It’s what I did! Accomplish your goals and strive for self-betterment! It could be as simple as doing something you’re good at and winning an award for it, or making an A on a test! Instead of picking up a gun, grab as many successes as you can reach. Instead of a gun, let SUCCESS be your weapon of choice! Because, as Frank Sinatra quoted, “being wildly successful is the absolute best revenge you can ever take” against a bully! I guarantee it!

It’s about self! Make it about you and what you can achieve! Forget those who don’t give you a thought! Screw ’em! Because they don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life anyway! Make a lot of money! Win a truckload of awards! Write a book! Cut a CD…whatever fulfills you! Grab as many successes and happy moments as humanly possible! That’s what you do when people refuse to see your value!

Create your own value with SUCCESS!

Bullies On the Board: One Reason School Bullying Often Goes Ignored and Unchecked!

4fknPGHZxZcS_DsHf_xt36aXF1XhK20Z07Md0RV1_lU2hWin1P3HiH2Ayf7TO6ynZBU5Y9gTW6pkY0LfY0Q3JnEkwg=w480-h360-p-k

It’s no secret that school bullying often goes ignored! It seems that by default, school officials side with the bullies, refusing to hold them accountable and too often blaming the victim for the relentless and merciless attacks against them. Now we know why. When those in power, whom are supposed to be there to help these young victims are bullies themselves,these kids are powerless because they unknowingly go to “the enemy” for help. It certainly makes me wonder how many more school districts are harboring, white-washing and protecting these wolves in sheep’s clothing.

The man in the photo, a former middle-school classmate named Greg Barrett, confronts his former school bully, who happens to be Katy, Texas School Superintendent, Lance Hindt, calling him out in front of the entire board for shoving his head against a urinal, then getting his friends to join in kicking him while he was “in a fetal position” on the floor. Now, another past incident has surfaced with the exposure of “sealed” records which say that, when Lance Hindt, at the age of eighteen, brutally beat William Stein, now 80 years old, into a five-day coma! Not surprisingly, no criminal charges were ever filed?

In my opinion, This superintendent is a certified, bonafied, card-carrying psychopath! It’s all I can say after reading this. It’s scary that school districts hire people like him. It’s just another reason why bullying often goes ignored, unchecked and swept under the rug. Even after all this exposure, this school board continues to back Dr. Hindt. Sad, indeed!

Here is the link to the story:

http://www.khou.com/article/news/local/man-who-filed-lawsuit-against-katy-isd-superintendent-35-years-ago-speaks-out/285-532969876

30 Motivational Quotes for the Compassionate Misfit to Live By

I love these quotes and try to live by them everyday! Wishing you all peace, love, success and happiness!

Everyday Aspie

30 Motivational Quotes for the Compassionate Misfit to Live By

Screen Shot 2016-03-14 at 2.31.26 PM

30  “When you see a good person, think of becoming like him. When you see someone not so good, reflect on your own weak points.”
Confucius

29  “We already have everything we need. There is no need for self-improvement. All these trips that we lay on ourselves—the heavy-duty fearing that we’re bad and hoping that we’re good, the identities that we so dearly cling to, the rage, the jealousy and the addictions of all kinds—never touch our basic wealth. They are like clouds that temporarily block the sun. But all the time our warmth and brilliance are right here. This is who we really are . . .” Pema Chödrön

28  “There’s nothing wrong with self-improvement, as long as you recognize that at some point you’re going to have to accept yourself in all your imperfect glory. What’s wrong with…

View original post 884 more words

Catch Them Before They Become Shooters! (Part 2)

dreamstime_s_44766088

Sadly, school shootings have skyrocketed in the last twenty years. But what if I told you that each incidence could have been prevented? What if I told you that we CAN prevent the next shooting…before it happens?

In part 1, I discussed the issue of mental health in school shootings, which is often ignored by the masses. Many want to preach about the importance of gun control or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, gun promotion. However, they fail to discuss the root problems which too often lead to these tragedies- bullying and mental health.

Preventing future shootings is easier than you think. All it takes is to seek out the kids in your school, whom are bullied, ignored, marginalized, sad and alone. You have to admit that these kids are the easiest to spot. I can guarantee that if everyone reached out to the kid who always sits alone in the lunchroom, the kid known for having his face slammed into the lockers or flushed down the toilet, the poor girl who is constantly slut/fat-shamed, or the pregnant girl or teen mother who’s relentlessly being called a whore and gave them a kind word…an encouraging message of love, letting them know that they still matter and have value, I’m positive that it would make a huge difference.

Kindness costs nothing. Just one kind word or gesture, just ONE… can be the difference between life or death…the difference between a senseless suicide or the will to live…the difference between the decision to go on a shooting spree at school or the decision to leave the gun at home and employ more constructive and productive means to handle being the object of bullying!

Think about it!

(To be continued…)

Bullying/Crimes Against Anyone with Autism/Asperger’s/Special Needs Should be Considered a Hate Crime!

dreamstime_xs_27175624

For months, I’ve wanted to speak out about people with autism and other neurological disorders and the extreme high rates of victimization and bullying they endure on a daily basis. It’s bad enough that they must go through life struggling with a disability that they neither asked for, nor have any control over. It’s even worse that they also struggle with constant cruelty from people in the general population because of that disability.

“A new study finds that children with autism spectrum disorders are bullied for more often than their typically developing peers.” (healthland.time.com)

According to Time Magazine (the above link), 46% of children on the spectrum reported being bullied compared to only 10% of neurotypical kids. And the statistics are estimated to be even higher due to the fact that most people on the spectrum do not recognize the subtler types of bullying because of their inability to read social cues. No one can report anything they do not know is occurring.

Because people with these disorders have difficulty reading social cues, have repetitive behaviors, and tend to be highly sensitive to external stimuli, bullies easily zero in on their perceived weaknesses and see them as easy prey who are ripe for harassment and degradation.
Bullies target them because of their extreme vulnerability and inability to assert themselves and to fight back. In the minds of bullies, people with special needs are easy prey.

Bullies get off on the power they wield over their special needs victims because they consciously know they can torment them endlessly and with impunity. They also know that chances are that no one will stop the abuse, nor speak out for the victim because the sad reality is that most others do not see those who have special needs as “human”. Therefore, bullies take full advantage of this.

Anyone who intentionally targets a person with special needs is, in my opinion, a coward of the lowest common denominator. Too afraid to go toe to toe with someone of their equal, they seek out victims, who are unable to speak for or defend themselves. Talk about despicable!

Every day, people who are mentally handicapped, have Autism/Asperger’s are accosted, taunted, physically attacked, or even murdered because they are considered easy targets and laws must be firmly put in place to protect these people, who are unable to protect themselves. Any crime against people in the above categories should be considered a hate crime because of the high vulnerability and severe disadvantage compared to regular, everyday people.

It’s still discrimination, any way you look at it and just as horrible as bullying someone due to age, sex, race or orientation. In fact, it’s WORSE because most people in the other four groups at least have the facilities to speak for and defend themselves! People with special needs do not! This is why we MUST make those with special needs a protected group!

These people are already fighting a very tough and likely, lifelong battle. Why then do those who are more fortunate wish to make their lives much more difficult than they already are?